Please come and say nice reassuring things - I am so sad to have to give up breastfeeding

[BosomsByTheSea]

My DTs are 9 months now, EBF for 6 months (after they left NICU at 3 days old), love bf now and would love to carry on feeding them until they self-wean.

BUT I have arthritis and it is active and causing joint damage - I can't pick up the boys easily sometimes and I am irritable all the time because of the pain. I think I have made the decision today that I have to go onto Methotrexate and stop bf. I don't want to be a grumpy immobile mummy anymore and we've worked through all the bf-compatible drugs. I am so sad and I wish I didn't have to make this decision .

So please can you come and cheer me up - and any experiences of the least traumatic way to wean DTs off their 2 bf a day would be much appreciated. Thanks.

I will be back soon - off to do bedtime.

Can't think of any great advice but WOW well done to you for getting this far with DTs - it must take it out of you physically and you've given them such a great start in life

Yes it will make you a little sad but remember you're still their only mummy and even though others will be able to look after them they will never replace you!

Also a good thing to do after you give up BFing is to buy some lovely new bras once your boobs have gone back to their (new) normal shape.

Tjanks MrsJ. Will definitely be following your advice with the bras - will be great to have a bit more scaffolding .

bosoms, i really feel for you. you've done bloody well ebf twins for 6 months btw, and of course to have carried on this far, not that that will make you feel better I don't expect

I know someone who was in a very similar position and ended up having to wean her 2 year old quite quickly, which was horrid for both of them. In some ways it may be easier for your little ones as they're a bit younger?

I know my friend did go on a raw food diet which helped a LOT, which is how she got to 2 years with him, so if you really don't want to give up yet it might be something worth trying. that said it's a HUGE change to make to your diet etc and I would imagine quite hard to do

you'll find there are plenty of other ways to reaassure and comfort your babies though, and as MrsJamin says, you'll always be their mummy
do they take a bottle at all yet? or a cup? I would just start to offer that for one feed a day and once they're taking that ok do the other feed, try and cut down as slowly as you can to reduce risk of mastitis etc

Thanks TIY, and interesting about your friend. I haven't tried a raw food diet, might be quite tricky (I'm back at work and there are lots of lunches out etc), but if I find I can't do it, maybe I could give that a try. Realistically, though, I came off the proper meds nearly 7 years ago when we started ttc (it took rather a long time!), and if I am to limit more permanent loss of mobility in my joints, I need to start treating the disease rather than just the symptoms. Am gutted though, but I guess we'll get through it

Yes, they'll quite happily take a cup, they have had cows' milk a couple of times and really enjoyed it, they eat lots and a very varied diet (including spinach, which they seem to love). We'll maybe start with shortening the am feed (it's alreasy only 4 minutes or so) and then work on the evening feed later.
Thanks again for your nice comments .

I had to stop breastfeeding ds around 4 months to go on betablockers (quite new then, so not known to be safe). It was a wrench, but tbh there are so many other things happening and changing, before long he was onto the new stage with new things to think about and worry about. The main thing was I knew I had done the right thing, because I was able to be a better and safer mum to him with adequate medication.

Hi bosoms! I just wanted to say hi and hope you're doing ok? I was in similar situation to you very recently. I have RA and have just had to give up breastfeeding my 4month old to go back on methotrexate and Humira. I am totally gutted about it too and although I know it's better that he has a fit healthy mummy it doesn't really make it any easier! Just wanted to u know that i understand what you're going through. Where is your arthritis?

Hey Bosoms, so sad for you

You have been amazing to feed for 9 months. You have given me advice a couple of times and I hope I get that far with my two.

No advice, just that I feel for you, and hope your arthritis becomes less painful.

So sad for you, Bosoms. And wow, what an amazing achievement to bf twins! And all that having had twins in NICU as well. All power to you and your bosoms .

How soon would you like to stop bfing? I'd suggest cutting it down to one feed a day asap, then perhaps cut the length of time you spend feeding them. If you're able to (perhaps your arthritis will prohibit this) you might consider expressing and freezing milk for them so there's a little bit more continuity?

Hi, just curious about the link between RA and BFing... I came down with some sort of post-partum RA after DS and it didn't get better until I stopped BFing. Now have had DD and had all the tests ASAP negative. BFing fell apart for other reasons. NOW, after nearly 5 mos, the RA-type symptoms are kicking in. I'm confused! Grateful for any info you can share... (BTW, for me, the RA came on only after delivery of DS but it was immediate and very bad.)

Just wanted to post to join in the 'being impressed' part.

Also I got my DS down to two feeds when I went back to work. He was 10 months. I replaced the morning one with a bottle and cuddle first, and then the night one.

He was ok with it, and I didn't find it traumatic at all. If your DTs are already down to two feeds a day, you will probably perceive stopping to be more of a wrench than actually stopping will be (did that make any sense at all? .

Good luck!

bosoms - bloody well done for ebf TWINS for 6 MONTHS! don't you get a medal for that? Personally I was saddened by the idea of stopping BFing but in reality it was fine and nice to have my body back a bit. You will always be their mummy and they will always want special cuddles with you, which is what takes over from BFing and is much less draining. xxx

ooo - and just a thought... but have you been tested for vit d levels? Mine were vv low and the symptoms can sometimes be confused with arthritis - joint pain etc.etc. bfing can seriously deplete your vit d, even if you get out in the sunshine a lot like i did. big hugs...xxx

Gosh, what a lot of lovely messages

Thank you all so much. Yes I am so glad we got this far - my initial goal was 6 weeks, then 2 months, then 6 months - but I had hoped to get to a year before I had to go back to the meds and stop so I am a bit disappointed.

Stroppy and Cheesecake - my arthritis is psoriatic arthritis - I've had it since I was 21 (I am 35 now). It is mostly in my feet, hands, wrists and ankles (can't unto screw-caps, car boots, normal child car seat buckles (though we have Kiddi seats now so I can ), do up my bra, walk far without hobbling etc.) which is 'put-uppable-with, but recently it has spread and become worse affecting my jaw, neck, knees and meaning I am struggling even to pick the boys up and carry them and I am up to the gills with (bf friendly) painkillers just to function. I am on steroids as well at the moment which makes it manageable but that's not a long-term solution and I do need the metho to sort me out.

Babymutha, I haven't been tested for vitamin D but my arthritis tests have all come back as +ve - will make sure I am getting plenty of vitamin D as well though just to rule that out!

I have planned to reduce then drop the morning feed first - today I did 5 minutes then offered expressed milk from a cup - DT1 wasn't interested, but DT2 had 50 mls, so I'll do the same for 3 or 4 days, then go down to 4 mins, then 3 etc, offering them expressed milk (I have 3 litres in the freezer ) and then a mix of expressed and formula over the next 4 weeks or so until they are having a whole formula feed from a cup (they won't have anything to do with bottles!) Then I'll do the same with the evening feed, with the intention to get them completely weaned off the boob by the end of August so I can start the drugs. They'll be 11 months by then.

Thanks again for all the positive comments - it does mean a lot to me that you think we've done well - and helps to allay some of the guilt and sadness about stopping!

You are amazing - well done!!!

Good luck with your cutting down. OK it's natural to feel sad about this, but you have NOTHING to feel guilty about.

If you are not keen on formula (and the attendant faff of making it up), and their diet is good, you would be fine with cows milk from 11 months.

Thanks Bramshott. Yes, their diet is very good (we're lucky - they seem to love most things), so I thought we might go onto cows milk from 11 months or so. It's just this interim bit between 9 and 11 months I thought I might give them a bit of formula - not so much because of the vitamins and iron it has added to it, as I think they get lots of that from their diet, but I had read that cows milk is high in potassium and chloride and so wanted to avoid them getting too much of that until after a year or so.

I think most likely is a cobble-together of expressed, formula and cow's for the next couple of months, and then onto cows alone.

Goodness Bosoms, you poor thing. If your boys knew the pain their mummy was in they would wean themselves!
Hope things are going ok.