Is this normal for a newborn?!

[Mae34]

Hello there - I have had such good advice and reassurance from people on MN during my pregnancy and pre birth time I wanted to ask about breatfeeding/ newborn stuff as I'm feeling very overwhelmed...

My baby girl is 2 and a half weeks old, straighforward birth in midwife led centre, home after 24 hours...I was keen to breastfeed and she started nursing right away after the birth, milk came in on day 3...so...I think I may have just underestimated what life is like with a new baby and how much breast feeding dominates your time - if this is the case it would be reassuring to hear from other more experienced mums! Sometimes I feed every half an hour especially when she's fussy or grizzly or in evening, sometimes she'll go for 3 hours, most often 1 and a half to 2...She doesnt cry excessively, maybe an hour or two of grizzling and fussiness each day sometimes less sometimes a little more...she started off refusing to sleep in her crib so I have been co-sleeping as I was desperate but have been gently trying to get her used to sleeping in it in the day, trying her and just picking up if she fusses - she has managed a couple of sleeps a day in it now so i think thats going ok? I'm worried she's not getting enough milk as she rarely seems to unlatch herself or seem satisfied after a feed - one of my breast has a problem nipple (had an infection when I was a baby) so its harder for her to feed on and its not as full as the other...I have got desperate and tried her on a bottle of formula the other night and she seemed really content for the first time -v depressing! I am feeling really useless for doing nothing except feed her and cant keep the house in order or even get out some days. I am finding BF really hard -I doubt that I'm feeding her enough, feel like all I do is sit around half dressed crying and feeling worried...DH says this is all normal and to stop getting so frustrated and down with it - he is being supportive and helping but I just feel like I'm not very good at this and I wanted her so much - feel awful that I'm not happier and sometimes feel cross and disappointed in myself and stupidly in her...

Sorry - epic post and probably not that related to breast feeding!...

You are not useless. Have a big hug and a cup of tea from me x

Is she growing? Putting on weight okay? Wet and dirty nappies? If so then you are doing just fine She may have seemed more content but that is simply because formula is much harder to digest, so they feel fuller. Try not to use it if you can help it as it will interfere with your supply, especially this early on.

Feeding like that, as much as it is frustrating and soul destroying at times, is normal. And it does level out very quickly. Have you seen a breast feeding counsellor about the latch on your problem nipple?

Men don;t get how upsetting the breastfeeding can be, as a vast generalisation. But he is right, you know, it is normal, and try not to let it get you down.

As for not feeling happy and for feeling cross at times - welcome to motherhood Again this is normal. Have you spoken to your HV about how you are feeling?

I have to go feed DS now but will be back later. Keep talking if its helping.

This is all normal. It sounds as though you have plenty of milk, but she's going to get a lot bigger over the next few weeks and is going to keep needing more and more milk, and the frequent lengthy feeds are how your body gets stimulated to produce more and more milk.

It is exhausting and can come as a huge shock particularly with a first baby. I had all the same thoughts and concerns going on with DS that you do now (I remember being in tears so many times) because although I'd been briefed on physical problems like cracked nipples or thrush or mastitis no one had mentioned the fact that it seems as though you are doing nothing but feeding in the early weeks. With him it really started to pick up and feeds space themselves out at around 8 weeks.

Second time around DD fed just as much, but I was prepared for it and just went with the flow. It did help that by then I'd mastered the art of reading a book while breastfeeding (took me a while to get the hang of that first time) and (for me although I know it's not for everyone) that I got out of the house every day, even though it was generally just feeding her at home, popping her in a sling and walking to Costa then feeding her there -- it's a different sofa to sit on and a different set of walls to stare at.

You are being good at this. It's just tough, and it's tough in ways that you hadn't prepared yourself for.

Sounds pretty normal to me....

Breastfeeding can take ages to get properly established. I'm not an expert nor do I even know very much so you might be best to give a bf counsellor a ring to set your mind at rest and I'm sure someone will be along on here later to give you some better advice.

Is your baby gaining weight OK, weeing and pooing? Have the HCPs expressed any concerns about her?

BF can be awful and mindnumbingly boring in the early days - I could've written your post myself in the first few weeks with my DSs but honestly it does get better and much easier over time. In a few months time when feeds are taking 5 mins and she is going longer between feeds and sleeping better, you will be glad you perservered. I am expecting DC3 in a few weeks so have it all to look forward to.....

I would also advise not to give into formula (unless of course you have been advised otherwise by a HCP who knows what they are talking about) because it will have an adverse effect on your supply.

Poor thing. Breastfeeding a newborn is tough and giving formula is far easier. It depends how much you want to breastfeed.

Whatever you do don't get too down about it. Breastfeeding is not the be all and end all. Its also important to enjoy your time with your new baby.

Good Luck and congratulations !

Thank you for your kind and reassuring messages - it does seem I had just underestimated how much time getting the supply established would take and maybe expecting too much of both of us! Its like BF bootcamp! And I do want to keep going - I will just try one day at a time...

x

Bf is an investment - bloody hard work for the first 6 weeks, a breeze by the time they're toddlers!

What it's like in between depends on the baby. For now, if she's putting on weight well, pooing and peeing frequently you are doing your job

With ds2 I literally counted down the days to 6 weeks. He is now almost 12 and getting much easier (though for me, it doesn't really get easy until about 6 months - I am 'blessed' with refluxy babies)

I dunno funnysinthegarden. FF brings it's own problems. FF may seem easier in the very early days but the guidelines on preparation seem very strict now and I personally could not be ding with having to make up feeds individually an hour before giving them as recommended on the back of the tin (in the old days, you just made up your bottles for the day and stuck them in the fridge which was easier).

BF is a short term pain for long term gain. As I implied in an earlier post, in a few months time, OP will be able to put her baby in a sling/pushchair, stick a nappy/wipes in her handbag and get out and about without having to lug around one of those massive bags containing bottles, bottle warmers, little containers of formula, flasks of hot water etc etc...Then of course, the OP will avoid the "Oh I have to get home by such and such a time because the baby needs a bottle and I don't have formula with me..." BF is so convenient - it just doesn't seem like it in the first few weeks.

I'm not even starting on the health benefits of bf here....

I think you need to be careful about counting down the days, though. I did the same thing with DS and then at 6 weeks things didn't change at all and I think the fact that I'd set my hopes on some mystical 6 week marker probably made it worse (I did a lot of crying around 6 weeks).

Sounds totally normal to me - and don't worry about the boob that you had the infection in. If necessary you could feed your baby with only one boob- or if you keep on using both the other boob will produce a bit more.

Do you offer both at every feed? We used to do boob, change nappy, boob for each feed which seemed to work well - DS normally pooed at each feed in the early days and liked a burp half way through! That way both your boobs are getting as much stimulaiton as your baby can give them... If you do boob 1 first and then boob 2 next feed do boob 2 and then boob 1 and so on....

Don't forget breastfeeding takes up abot 500 calories per day - that is a quarter of your normal calorie intake. Making milk is hard work - noone expects cows to do the cleaning, laundry, cook dinner do they??? Make sure you eat extra and make it all good stuff - not 'diet' food but normal healthy food (and chocolate!!)

Re sleep - babies are programmed to do everything they can to keep their parents close - especially mum. If they can't actually feel or hear you nearby then they worry that they're going to get eaten by a tiger. My DS had lots of his naps in a travel cot downstairs while I pottered about doing - could you do that? Also he had quite a few of his naps in a sling on my front. Or on my while i napped too. As they get bigger and less worried about tigers you can gradually transition to having them sleep alone. We've done it this way and haven't had to resort to controlled crying/crying it out or anything else that means either DS or I are miserable. He's now 22 months and about 2 or 3 nights a week will sleep from 7.30 to 7.30 in his own bed. The other nights he'll wake - for a variety of reasons - and I go in and co-sleep the rest of the night with him...

Finally don't forget that you're gradually tapering down off the fantastic hormone high that mother nature gives you after the birth. In my experience this hit the bottom at about week 6 and everything felt rather relentless and unrewarding. But then you pull out of the dip again, your DC will start smiling at you (and even giggling) and everything seems worthwhile.

tryharder all I am saying really is that I found FF easier. Entirely up to the OP what she chooses to do.

I do think though that the mental health of the mother is of equal importance with the benefits of breast feeding for the baby. There is no point developing PND because you have pushed yourself so hard in the early days.

Or maybe I am just a lazy mother

BTW, I still make up my feeds a day in advance and keep them in the fridge! Baby has been fine

sounds normal to me. it takes at least 4 weeks to establish supply, and 6-12 weeks for things to settle a bit.
enjoy doing nothing but feeding - sod everything else, get some good books/dvds plenty of snacks and just hole up on the sofa for a few weeks. it seems like forever when you're in the middle of it but soon passes.

DS2 is 12 weeks and has yet to let go of the breast himself he always needs to be unlatched - usually when I feel like I really HAVE to pee.

Get comfy, keep bubba as close as you can and take things as easily as you can. The first 6 weeks are intense and it seems like forever when you are in them and then suddenly they are all over and you miss the quite snuggles.

This time is fleeting, don't spend it worrying about her sleeping away or thinking that she is eating too much or whatever.

Thankyou! Will keep trying both boobs to keep the supply up in the less effective one as suggested - and must keep eating - think I wasnt getting enough food last week which didnt help either me or milk supply! I think I just need to take the advice I read on another thread on here yesterday - "your job in the first few weeks is to do nothing but feed the baby and not go mad"!...Will try to let jobs and housework go hang and just concentrate on me and her and maybe getting out for a bit of fresh air each day and follow her lead...And yes, Knitter - I think I just imagined you put baby down in their crib and they slept - just like that! Hah! You are right, she is very small and just wants to snooze with someone at the moment and there's nothing odd or wrong about that...

x

Mae34 "I think I just imagined you put baby down in their crib and they slept - just like that! Hah!"

they only do that in magazines....

You can't put a baby to sleep in a magazine, the pages are too slippery surely? They would just slide out...

absolutely Knitter. Also only in magazines are expensive outfits for babies. What is wrong with a Next babygrow?

Hi Mae well done, personally I wouldn't bother with the formula. Try some babymooning. Let the other stuff go hang. It will be okay. Lots of babies cluster feed at night. New born babies tummies are small so need feeding constantly often. It will pass. Well done on getting this far, each feed counts.

Historically, the babies you could just put down and they fell asleep on their own, got eaten by wolves, so they died out.

How are your nipples feeling? Is feeding hurting? How long does your DD like to feed for?

All very helpful comments - feel a lot better and just trying to go with what baby needs and follow her lead...Feeding did hurt at first but lots of Lansinoh seems to have helped - sometimes she feeds for over an hour plus - I'm going to get my latch checked at a local BF cafe as I think it might be not that efficient and even causing her to suck in lots of air as she makes this funny clicking noise and seems quite burpy...And I made it to baby clinic today which was a small triumph and she has gone up to 9 lb 4 from birth weight of 8 lb 7...she is 17 days today...

Mae34 that is great news - lovely weight gain. That is all the endorsement that your boobs and milk making skills need.

FWIW DS had a really clicky latch for ages - used to be mildly embarassing if feeding in quiet public places

Hi Mae,

Congratulations on the birth of your baby girl. I am a new um too...my DD is 11 weeks old and everything you describe re: feeding is exactly what happened to me and my DD. I promise that it does calm down and you will start to notice your DD going longer between feeds soon. Initially my DD fed every 4 hours for 2 hours at a time. Some nights she would feed for 3-4 hours.

Dont get stressed out about housework etc. I did and now wish that I hadent bothered. All that is important at the moment is getting feeding established and bonding with your baby. Since your feeding so much, make sure you are comfy and eating and drinking well. I found that a boomerang pillow is very comfy.

The weight gain has shown that your DD is getting plenty of milk...if she has wet and dirty nappies then this is a sign that she is feeding well. To be honest, I constantly worry that my DD isnt getting enough milk. I think that most breastfeeding mums worry about this as we cant see exactly how much our DC's are drinking.

Good luck...you sound like you are doing great though. I got emotional at times. It is really hard work at the start but really worth it. And as I said, it does get better