tell me your positive breast feeding stories

[DuelingFanjo]

Hi there. I am expecting a baby which is due in Dec and have been posting in another thread about people visiting after the birth. One of my main worries is that I really want to breastfeed and am worried about getting the privacy to establish breastfeeding successfully.

I think perhaps that I have read and heard a lot of stories about how hard people have found it to breastfeed and might be expecting it to be awful.

So - I wondered if anyone here could tell me about how successful they were with breastfeeding for the first time? I always imagined that I will have problems with the latch, that when my milk comes in ai will feel awful and that getting the technique right will be something I will have to do in private.

What is it really like?

I was told at my antenatal classes to remember that bottlefeeding in general is easier than breastfeeding for about the first 6-8 weeks. Once breastfeeding "clicks" it's pretty easy going and much more convenient than bottlefeeding - the milk is always there, free, at the right temperature, sterile, you don't have to make the choice between making it up safely but inconveniently or making it up in a way which is less safe but more convenient, you can SLEEP while breastfeeding, you can breastfeed one or no-handed... not to mention all the health benefits. When it was hard in the first few weeks I held on to this - it's like you put the hard work in early on to establish supply etc and then it's just easy.

I think that reading up about what is normal and expected is helpful. I have so many friends who are convinced they ran out of milk when what they were experiencing was cluster feeding, or because their baby wouldn't go four hours without a feed like the books said, or because they were dead on their feet from sleep deprivation. The biggest tip I can give you is learn to feed lying down early on and make a safe space somewhere in the house where you can lie down to feed the baby and it doesn't matter if you fall asleep - might be your bed with a bed rail or 3 sided cot, might be a futon mattress in the spare room, anywhere with a firm flat surface (not a sofa). Whether you want to co-sleep or not if you can sleep while feeding it makes up for the fact that breastfed babies tend to wake more often, and the fact you have to do all the night feeds yourself.

Also, google "the fourth trimester" - interesting reading

And yes - The Food Of Love is excellent!

Also I think the other main reason people stop unnecessarily is pressure from family etc - so make a list of things they CAN do to help if you are having a crap day feeding constantly and they are "helpfully" saying "Oh just let me give one little bottle, it won't hurt, and you can have a rest..."

Assign bathtime to your DH/DP. He gets skin to skin contact, fun splashy times with the baby, and you get 30 minutes - an hour (depending on whether he also does e.g. baby massage afterwards) free, undisturbed time every night or every couple of days. What's not to like? And if you do it at bedtime it's a good start to a bedtime routine which can be a help later on. I've heard people say things like "Oh I am breastfeeding so my husband does all the nappies" that's not a fair swap!

Can I just add that I have had two emcs and breast fed both DCs successfully and exclusively - DD is 2 months now and was on NICU for 3 days, I didn't see her until she was 36 hours old and we are fine. Hopefully you'll have a nice natural birth but just some reassurance that complicated deliveries don't necessrily mean you can't bf. Echo what is said above, just feed them lots. Also when in hospital ask the mws to help you with latch on and keep asking to make sure it's right. Then when you go home hopefully you'll be reasonably confident. Also bfing is a complex psychological thing - it's not just like a tap. I would recommend privacy to start with or if you have lots of visitors just nip off to the bedroom to feed (I say nip - you might be gone a while! but it's important you feel right about it and they will (or will have to!) understand. Congrats and good luck! Also Sheila Kitzingers breastfeeding your baby book is good.

Not a positive story as such (sorry!)

But I wanted to say that if you really want to breastfeed, however hard it gets its not that hard.

The midwife I had at home was astounded every time she came and I was still breastfeeding.

DD is now 7 weeks and b/f had been fine for weeks now.

I always thought that however hard it got, it was a hell of a lot better than faffing with formula.

And those happy hormones you get when bf in the first few days are seriously good

I was really worried about people watching me feed too but as it happened when dd wanted her first feed my parents were visiting (she was a bit poorly right after the birth and not interested in feeding til a few hours later)

my dad was taking pictures of her first feed and i couldn't have cared less, all i was worried about was giving her what she needed.

I did find public feeding with her off putting but that was due to the fact that her reflux made her puke all over me every feed so it was a fairly grim messy affair most times

the one thing about breastfeeding is that the first few weekks/couple of months are tough. They feed alot, in some cases every half hour all day long and most of the night and everyone around you will be telling you how much better ff babies sleep, how much less ff babies feed, how much more content they are, that you may not have enough milk, etc, etc. But if you can get through the initial rough patch it's the most rewarding thing you'll ever do in your life. i've never witnessed a ff baby displaying the pure joy and contentment at being fed that a bf baby does. Just my experiance of course and i'm sure others will swear differantly but there is something so incredibly fulfilling about seeing your babies face light up when you offer them a feed and those beautiful little contented gurgles and sighs as they snuggle in to the boob

My absolute top tip for getting through the first few months is just to resign yourself to having baby with you 24/7 until feeding is established... all three of mine cluster fed in the evening as does any other bf baby i know of and the easiest way to cope is just to plonk yourself on the couch and have their moses basket or whatever they sleep in downstairs next to you and let them latch on and off as much as they want and just pop them into their basket in between feeds. Honestly, they do settle into routines and sleep in their cots of their own accord as they get older despite what people will tell you and those first few weeks are not the time to be fighting them and getting stressed.

Congratulations! I would say its a skill like any other...takes a little while to get the hang of it but once you do its really worth it - no faffing about with sterilising and making bottles up in the middle of the night. You get lots of cuddle time as well.

My DS got the hang of latching on immediately. While in hospital I made a midwife come and check every time I fed him to make sure it was ok(one of my antenatal friends suggested this and it really boosted my confidence). I did get a crack (because I got lazy about the latch a couple of times) and it was painful but I kept on feeding and it did go after about a week (lansinoh really helped).

Initially I fed DS somewhere very quiet then once I got more confident was happy to have others with me. Two of my friends did their first outside the house feed together which helped with their confidence.

Am still BFing (DS has occasional bottle with DH as they both enjoy that) and DS is now 24 weeks :-). Really enjoy the quiet cuddle time together and will really miss it once he is fully weaned.

My final tip if you do run into difficulties don't give up without getting some help first. There is lots of it about :-).

Thank you

I worry that because I might be feeding hourly or two hourly in the first few days and weeks it will mean that having visitors will be really difficult specially if they are wanting to hold the baby all the time or want to give me advice?

You probably will be, but its so rewarding! Dont worry about your visitors - if your baby needs feeding she/he needs feeding.

If your visitors have any sense at all they wont mind!

when you are in the swing of things and happy to feed publicly, i found a lot of my relos and friends thought there was nothing nicer than watching DD snuggle up and slurp away, cooing in contentment!

Frankly anyone who is so selfish that they would rather see baby distressed and crying for a feed in exchange for 1 minute longer cuddle would not be welcome in my house!

I know you hear horror stories on here, but i think most people are perfectly understanding

As for advice, if you think its good, bonus!
If not, dont take it as a slight on your parenting, smile and say thanks or thanks but.... and then just ignore it!

Just enjoy the first few precious weeks, dont worry about anyone else! One of the few times in life to be totally selfish and self-indulgent!

Congratulations DuelingFanjo .

We have just started weaning my beautiful 6 month old DS and ebfing was not as difficult as I imagined it would be. I, like you, was preparing myself for the worst and was convinced that it would be really difficult getting latch etc right. Actually, it was easy .

I had quite a prolonged 2nd stage of labour (pushed for 2 hours ), after 30hrs of 1st stage, so was absolutely exhausted by the time DS arrived but, he was delivered onto my chest and he latched on and started feeding within 15mins.

We stayed in the postnatal ward overnight and although I didn't get much sleep, I kept latching him on whenever he woke up and started rooting. It was really easy to get help to because the midwives were right there. When we came home my mum and DH provided tons of support and DS and I were left to get to know each other and feed, feed, feed. It did seem endless initially but because I really did not have to do anything else we could concentrate on getting it right and bf was well established within 4 weeks.

I did not find it difficult feeding in front of DH, my mum or MIL but FIL, and BIL were a little difficult initially. (DS was born the week before Christmas so we had tons of family get together's). What I found the easiest initially was to go to a quiet room (and take my mum/DH with me for company) and just get on with it. We also co-sleep and it
made (still does as he still wakes for feeds at least twice a night!) my life sooo much more pleasant as it meant I could sleep immediately after feeding him and sometimes during.

I still find the advice giving rather difficult to deal with especially since DS is a high-need baby and people seem to assume that it is because he is breastfed, but I have found MN endlessly helpful and supportive. Whenever I have had a doubt, a problem or just felt generally low, someone on here has been available for some help or a friendly word. I have spend hours reading other posters threads too and soon realised that we are all in the same boat.

Joining a bf support group before baby is born is a great idea as you can get to know other bfing mum's and feel comfortable with asking for their advice if problems arise.

One of the loveliest things about breastfeeding now is the quiet, special time DS and I can enjoy together. A feed is such a great excuse to sit down, put my feet up and just relax.

Good luck

Shocking misuse of an apostrophe

Breastfeeding DD2 was a doddle, there was no learning period, it was a success right from the first feed. She was so keen on milk (as was her sister) that I never had any problems with the milk coming in - as fast as I made it, she drank it. So no engorgement, no blocked ducts, nothing. She gained weight well, and teething caused no issues with breastfeeding at all.

Is that positive enough for you?

Don't let any mw/hcp make you feel like you are being a pain in the arse if you need help

buzz for help when you need it, don't be 'good' and wait indefinately

especially if you end up with a cs and need someone to pass you the baby to feed for the first bit when the spinal block is still working and you are still catheterised

it is their JOB and you will not be wasting nhs resources/time by asking for help

be assertive and don't be fobbed off

you can do it!!!

Also, for later on, don't be convinced that you haven't got enough milk. I know lots of people who have given up for this reason when it is probably not the case. People of older generations are obsessed with this ime (prob from the days when formulae marketing was unregulated ). It may feel like your breast is "empty" but as someone else said on here lately boobs as like a river, not a bucket [plagarist emoticon]. If you keep feeding you keep making milk

DF just remember there are only a small minority of women who can not physiologically feed their baby.

Try to get plenty of skin to skin and yes you will be feeding constantly incessantly constantly hourly or two hourly. It is normal, tiny babies need little and often.

Arm yourself with some come backs especially for those who unfortunately will want you to fail so will positively discourage you in the nicest possible ways. "Ooh should baby DF still be hungry" "they need a bottle" "they need a dummy" "you are spoiling them picking them up and feeding""how do you know how much they are getting" etc etc.

I found the NHS stuff I was given helpful, also try Youtube and see it being done the right way. Check for wriggly ears, swallowing action, and don't forget to break the latch with your finger if it is not right. As it is winter you can use layers to disguise your feeding if you feel the need. I use a H & M bump band I bought whilst pregnant to cover my wobbly belly and then don't mind lifting my top up so much. Good luck and it is possible and people on here will give you help every step of the way.

You've had some fabulous advice & stories already, so just wanted to say: trust your boobs. After all, they were invented way before formula ;)

DS was born at 35 weeks, and wasn't terribly well when he was born, so I didn't hold him till he was 2 days old - but when I was first allowed to put him to my breast, it was like it was the thing he had been waiting for (then fell asleep as it was so exciting). Bfing was then pretty much trouble free for 23 months when he then self weaned.

I recommend lots of bathing together (you get a soak and they get skin to skin and boobie), and being in bed together - just the two of you chilling out is lovely

My ds1 was born by elective cs (he was breech). He was really sleepy after his arrival, and didn't latch on for 36 hrs. But then he got the hang of it, and apart from mastitis at 5 weeks, we have been trouble free ever since. He is now 4.8yo and tandem feeding with his 16 week old brother.

DS2 was a VBAC and was a differnt experience all together. We did biological nurturing (google it, or search on here for it) and he latched himself on 20 mins after he was born. Again, we have been trouble free so far.

Arm yourself with info and find yourself a breastfeeding support group now so that you know where to get help if you need it. And definitely look into biological nurturing!!

Good luck with your pregnancy.

Ooo, if we're giving tips too, here are mine -

Get in some DVDs that you've always wanted to see and buy an insulated mug. Never sit down to breastfeed (especially in the evening) without the remote, a glass of water, and a cup of tea to hand (a biscuit is nice too, especially chocolate for those important calories ). Evening feeds can go on for a long time, but if you're prepared, then it will become more of a time to rest, rather than a chore.

Don't think that the amount that you can express is the amount that your baby gets. I was rubbish at expressing, but my babies gained lots of weight.

If you're concerned about going out in public (I was), then breastfeed in front of a mirror at home first. This was the top tip that I got from MN when I had my first baby. It really set my mind at rest when I realised that I wasn't showing acres of flesh, as I'd imagined. Going with a friend is a good idea too, especially one who also has a tiny baby. I did my first public feed with a friend from antenatal class for moral support.

Good luck.

I ebf the baby bear for 4.5 months, I went back to work super early then mixed fed until 6 months old and ds has been bottles since then.

I was really ambivalent about bf but he latched on really well. About 4 weeks in had real issues on one side, honestly it was like shards of glass, and I managed to fix it myself - yay! Would bf one side normal then the other side stood up until all was better. However I didn't ask for help and I really should have.

I was also a very private feeder, so would just sort of announce that he needed feeding, and people would kind of get the hint

Dont underestimate how much they feed to start with at least 45 mins every 1.5 hours for me! It is really easy to think it is all going horribly wrong because of this. But you can feed one handed and if you have an Internet phone you can MN for every feed!! Good luck

Firstly congratulations on your pregnancy, I am TTC #2, not going so great and one of the things I am most jealous about when friends tell me they are pregnant is that they have the opportunity to BF.
I BF DD for 18 months and loved every minute of it. I was also a private feeder, but it gave me time to gaze at my DD whilst she fed. A baby (toddler) feeding is the most wonderful thing in the world.
I got mastitis about 5 times, the first was the worst as I didn't realise what it was, after that as soon as the sore throat started I knew I had to pay attention to emptying the relevant breast. It also hurt when DD latched one for the first week but I counted to ten and it never hurt longer. I sprayed milk everywhere, had to change my pads very frequently, in fact I was very surprised about the mess.
But I would do it all again in a heartbeat and I really hope I am lucky enough to have the chance again.
Enjoy the experience it really is the best thing in the world.
x

I was expecting bf to be easy because my sister and mum had bf and not had any problems. It came as a shock to me when it hurt, and tbh it was sheer stubborness that got me through the first few weeks. I really struggled with getting the latch right and I didn't have great support from the midwives in the hospital. Although they were supportive in terms of choosing to bf, they didn't really have the skills (or time maybe) to help with 'technical' things like getting the latch right.

The best thing I did was go back to the hospital to a breastfeeding clinic and got proper hands on advice on how to latch on the baby. I would really recommend seeing a bf counsellor or going to a drop in session like this if you have any problems at all.

I wasn't keen on feeding in front of the in-laws but was happy to do so in front of my own side of the family. My dad would take himself out of the room anyway. It is much easier if don't have loads of visitors as you do spend quite a lot of time in a state of undress at the start.

I agree with the cake, remote control and drink of water being necessary. I always had a bottle of water and a tub of M&S mini bites at hand for the middle of the night feeds in the early days.

I'm happy to whip them out pretty much anywhere now though!

I'm also tandem feeding (3 yr old and 6 month old).

The first ten days to two weeks were rough for me - I had cracked and bleeding nipples and looked like Babs Windsor when my milk came in But as soon as my nipples had healed, it was a breeze, really, aside from growth spurts, which are hard regardless of how you are feeding. Am still going at 7.5 months, and I am very proud of myself, as my mother was less than supportive.

Feeding in public: I wasn't sure how I would cope, to be honest. And then my dad walked around the curtain at the hospital to meet his Grandson, I said a hurried, "I'm feeding!" and he replied something along the lines of, "Good good, get him to hurry up, I want a cuddle!" Then when DS was maybe three weeks old, DPs Dad came to visit, and DS needed feeding, and I remember him asking me if I wanted him to leave the room. I replied I was fine with him there if he was, to which he came out with a typical "I've seen it all before" remark. I figured after that if I could get my boob out in front of my father and DPs (self admittedly, God rest him) very sexist father, and then my own Grandad (who, when I asked if he wanted me to go elsewhere looked at me if I had sworn at him very badly and told me I "ruddy well would not!"), I could get them out in front of anyone Also you get used to doing it very quickly, the first weeks are never particularly dignified, so don't be worrying

Sorry, massive rambling paragraph

Remember that small babies have very tiny bellies so need to feed A LOT at first.

Don't be afraid to ask for help - much better to get it sorted ASAP if something doesn't feel right than to let it drag on.

Stock up on Lansinoh and good quality breast pads (would personally recommend Jonhsons) - Lansinoh is expensive but so so worth it. Never had much success with the cheaper ones.

If you are in pain in a certain area of your nipple, adjust the latch slightly in that direction.

Try and have a breastpump handy for when your milk comes in (I couldn't bear to hand express, my boobs were too sore) to just take a little off the top, as it will ease the pain for you, and make it easier for DC to latch.

Good luck, and congrats on your pregnancy

You've had loads of good advice already, but I'll just add that ds is 7 mo tomorrow and is still feeding masses. I read up loads beforehand on the internet, and looked at the great videos on the Dr Jack Newman site because I was worried about the lack of help at my hospital. The more prepared you are, the more confident you can feel.

I love breastfeeding ds. I feel so close to him, and his little gurgles and grunts and sighs make me feel that he loves it too.

Definitely learn how to feed lying down - makes the night feeds so much easier.

I had problems with DS because I thought he should go four hours between feeds, hadn't heard if cluster feeding and got little advice re latch. With DD1 I read up on bf and was better prepared. Had a crack on one nipple but managed to feed through and demanded help to do so. Fed her until she self weaned at 14 months. I'm now feeding DD2 and it's going even better. Lots of MN surfing while pg taught me a few tips. Rugby ball hold is brilliant, feeding while lying down is vital and stock up on lansinoh. Feeding in public is easy if you wear layers - vest goes up, t shirt goes down and cardigan comes across. Bf is a good way to get rid of unwanted guests or to leave DH with them while you lie down cuddling babe. I would never suggest staying with babe under excuse of feeding while babe is asleep to avoid socialising ...

Congrats and good luck.