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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Hospital policy

32 replies

Mishy1234 · 15/06/2010 09:24

OK, this is not a bf vs ff thread but I would value some opinion.

My DS has been in hospital since friday with suspected viral meningitis. We're still waiting for the final test results, but he's much improved after IV antibiotics and we were moved from an isolation room to a ward yesterday.

Since we've been in, I've always been given breakfast (no other meals) and assumed this was the same case for all parents staying with their children.

This morning was our first morning on the ward and the lady came with my breakfast but didn't offer anyone else. She then said that they only feed bf mums as they are busy in the morning with early feeds etc and need to maintain their fluid and energy levels for bf.

Cue one of the other mums exclaiming in a very loud voice how ridiculous it was and that ff mums are busy too. Not sure if that was for my benefit or for the hospital staff.

Tbh I kind of agree and don't think it is fair. Now I have toast in front of me, am starving but feel too awkward to eat it.

Is the hospital being fair or should the rules be the same for all?

OP posts:
Original poster
Mishy1234 · 15/06/2010 09:26

Also meant to say that DS is 2 weeks today, so still establishing supply.

OP posts:
Fibilou · 15/06/2010 09:34

Formula mums aren't having to actually make the milk themselves though, are they ?
And presumably they meant "busy with feeds" not "busy in general".

I think it's another case of a FF mother having a chip on her shoulder about breastfeeding for some reason. I'm getting a bit sick of it to be honest. They go on about breastfeeding mothers and call us nazis - which is apparently OK. Bearing in mind that in the UK 65% of babies are receiving formula after only one week the BFing mums need all the support they can get.

Fibilou · 15/06/2010 09:36

And I'd eat the toast and enjoy it, sitting smugly with a superior expression - no doubt then she can have all her issues with breastfeeding reinforced

finnbird · 15/06/2010 09:38

Poor you Mishy, what a tough start with your DS! Glad he's getting better.
I agree that it doesn't seem fair and all parents staying overnight with their kids should be given something. However, you clearly need feeding more than most as your DS is still so tiny and you're just starting to bf. So you should just eat your breakfast and not worry about anyone else. After all, if the other parents are unhappy they can complain through the ward staff.

withorwithoutyou · 15/06/2010 09:39

So breakfast is available to them, but the ff mums have to go and get it themselves? Or is there no breakfast available to them at all?

hazeyjane · 15/06/2010 10:23

That does sound a bit ridiculous though.

When we had to take dd2 into hospital for an operation, I had meals offered (she was f'fed).

What an awkward position to put you in, but definitely eat the toast it is draining being in hospital with a lo (b'feeding or not). I hope your ds is ok.

Fibilou - your post is one huge sweeping generalisation, about f'feeding mums. I am appalled at the term 'bfeeding nazi' and have nothing but respect for friends who have b'fed their dcs - I think I can honestly say the same goes for my f'feeding friends as well.

When dds were 2 weeks old, I was still struggling to b'feed, but was also expressing to keep up supply, and using some formula - this was incredibly knackering, but if I was at this hospital would I have been allowed toast or not, I wonder?

Misspaella · 15/06/2010 10:54

This is bizarre. When DS1 had surgery at GOS when he was 13 months I stayed overnight for a couple days I was allowed free reign of the "parents" kitchen. There was toast, tea/coffee and other snacks (fruit, yoghurt etc). There was also a microwave and fridge for use by the parents if they brought there own food.

The children in GOS are of all ages, bf, ff or both or none. Parents were treated the same. End of.

mrspear · 15/06/2010 10:59

My DS at 3 weeks corrected was in Lewisham for Hernia repair and they had a similar policy. They gave me dry toast in the morning (but no drink) and yet ff mums got nothing. I could done with a cup of tea esp after eating dry toast but there you go!

Oh and there was no parents room - no kettle, no microwave. Only a coffee machine - which according to DH produced vile coffee.

strawberrycake · 15/06/2010 11:07

I'd be really upset if I was there as someone who desperately wanted to bf but failed. It would feel like I had my failure to bf rubbed in my face (he's 11 days old and I'm sensitive). Many people end up ff due to lack of support rather than laziness. It's easy to feel a bit superior you bother to bf, I'd happily make the effort. I am expressing though, wonder if they'd count that.

RunningOutOfIdeas · 15/06/2010 11:12

When DD was in hospital age 7 months there was no food available for parents, just tea and coffee. I realise it is not really the hospital's job to feed the parent, however they are totally dependent on the parents to care for their DCs. DD was in a single room and I needed to stay with her constantly. The alarm for her sats monitor went off frequently and it could not be heard at the nurses desk, so they were dependent on me dealing with the problem or calling them if I couldn't sort it out.

The first day we were in I had a mars bar that I found in a pocket of her pushchair and a sandwich that another parent brought in for me, and that was all. The next day I called a friend to go shopping for me. The hospital seemed to assume that there will always be 2 parents available to take turns with the child.

Sorry this is a ramble. I do understand why the hospital recognise the need to feed a bf mother. It is so hard to bf if you are hungry and thirsty. However I also think hospitals need to recognise the needs of all parents, especially if they are dependent on the parents caring for the children.

Haliborange · 15/06/2010 11:14

I was in hospital with my DD1 when she was a bit older and certainly was not offered any food at all.
I think that is generally the standard position re parents staying on children's wards and if the hospital is kind enough to make an exception for breastfeeding mothers then that is great. I have not ff a small infant but assume that it is less wearying than establishing bf (someone else can make up bottles for a start, and you don't need to be there all the time, and none of the ff mothers I have known have ended up feeding hourly or for 6 hour marathons, for example).
Enjoy your toast, it's kind of them to provide it I think. It's not a reward for bf but a bit of support to help you not give up. I wouldn't call that preferential treatment or anything for another mother to get upset about.

lal123 · 15/06/2010 11:17

Surely the policy is in place because its the needs of the babies which come first not the needs of the parents?

StealthPolarBear · 15/06/2010 11:18

Glad your DS is on the mend

Yes I went in with DS and DD recently when DD had a rash. DS was given lunch, and then when they found out I was bf I was offered one too. Do you think if I'd mentioned I was bf both children I'd have been offered seconds?

StealthPolarBear · 15/06/2010 11:22

Yes, agree with Halib - if hospitals are going to be breastfeeding friendly then they need to support the mother to be able to stay with the baby all the time, as she has to. Part of that is providing food.
Of course part of that is also providing bf support in the first place! And clean knickers

TruthSweet · 15/06/2010 11:27

When DD1 was in with asthma at 16 m/o, I wasn't allowed any ward food, nor was I allowed to take DD1 off the ward with me to go and get any food, nor leave her with the nurses to go and get any food. I was breastfeeding and pg so really could have done with a bit of toast .

When DD2 was in with a chest infection at 11 m/o I was offered breakfast but it really confused the staff to deliver TWO trays to a bed (DD2 was eating solids as well as having bfeeds). Lunch and dinner weren't provided but they were happy to keep an eye on DD2 while I went to the shop/canteen.

When DD3 was in (numerous times from 11 w/o to 27 w/o) I had all meals provided and the nurses were fine with looking after DD3 whilst I stretched my legs or went to the shop.

When I asked why they changed the policy I was told they now provided all meals for breastfeeding mothers as the bfing mums were providing food for their babies whereas ff'd babies had their food from the hospital and as an incentive for mums to keep bfing while their baby was in hospital. I guess the easier you make it for a bfing mum to stay with her ill baby the more likely they are to continue to bfeed.

misdee · 15/06/2010 11:28

i agree with the policy.

establishing breastfeeding can be hard work, and if they can make it easier in any way they should.

Teapot13 · 15/06/2010 12:47

Well, one way to look at it is that the hospital feeds the patient. For a BF child, that means feeding the mother. From that perspective it is logical and fair, although I can see how it might be hurtful for a FF mother.

Try to just eat your toast without feeling guilty -- you have enough to worry about and I'm sure the FF mothers don't mean anything personal towards you.

I hope your little one is better soon.

tutu100 · 15/06/2010 13:04

When ds2 was admitted to hospital at 19 days old I was given the first few meals because I was bf. Then I was told that the hospital only fed breastfeeding mothers until the bay was 10 days old so they didn't have to feed me.

I couldn't leave ds2 easily to go get food (massive hospital and we were at the furthest point away from the shops and canteen. Also I had to go on a dairy free diet as they thought that might help ds2 so my choices of food were really limited anyway.

Luckily some of the very kind nurses (who told me they used to be straving when bf) would order me a meal under ds2's name (no one questioned why a 3 week old baby needed a meal) and they made sure it was dairy free, so I did get fed the occassional meal.

Eat your toast and don't worry about it. The hospital will be providing the formula for the ff babies.

StealthPolarBear · 15/06/2010 13:17

lol tutu, there's probably somewhere in your DS's red book that records he was weaned at 3 weeks on bangers and mash

withorwithoutyou · 15/06/2010 13:18

DD was hospitalised at 6 days, funnily enough due to losing 20% of her birthweight through poor breastfeeding.

I was told to get meals from the kitchen along with all the other postnatal ones. Bit embarassing as I couldn't face eating it and the m/w cme in and found DH eating the sandwiches

DD was on formula top ups at that point (because of the issue with her weight) but I think I just got treated as if I had just had a baby there IYSWIM as it was labour ward.

snowmash · 15/06/2010 13:26

I would say eat!

I think that it is a difficult topic as it will be a hospital by hospital or ward by ward policy, if indeed it is policy. GOSH probably wouldn't be able to do what it does without the major fundraising efforts/supporters.

I would actually be more irritated by an arbitrary 'we feed mothers of babies under x wees old, but all others have to get their own food'. I think that this would affect b/fing mothers more (and thus affect their baby, who is in the care of the hospital).

withorwithoutyou · 15/06/2010 13:30

Hope your DS is improving mishy, just re-read the OP and seen he's in with meninjitis xx

Ineedsomesleep · 15/06/2010 13:31

Eat it and enjoy it. Think you should ignore any comments from any other people.

You need the food to make the milk

StealthPolarBear · 15/06/2010 13:53

surely there's a cut off though - what if the child was 3?

Morloth · 15/06/2010 15:27

Do they provide the formula for the FF babies?

If so, then I think it is an OK policy. Still feels a bit mean though.

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