BFing and wind - what am I doing wrong?!

[TomlinTowers]

I'm sure this has been done lots of times before, but would really like some advice!

I wasn't able to feed my DS1 as he was SCBU for a week after birth with a feeding tube in his nose, and he lost the rooting reflex so never got latched on properly and my milk went away. So I really want to be able to bf this time, but am anxious about the whole thing not working.

DD1 (4 weeks) has developed the most awful problem with wind in the afternoons/evenings. Night feeds are still straightforward thank goodness - wakes up twice a night, feeds for 20 mins and then straight back down which is brilliant, and day time feeds are OK, but the mid-aft and evening feeds are becoming a thing of dread.

DD will feed for 10 - 20 mins from one boob then start fussing - pulling away, arching back etc. I know there is milk there because when I squeeze there is milk coming out. So I put her on shoulder to wind, then put her back to boob to see if she wants any more. Problems start when she finishes feeding - will do one tiny burp then just lie on my shoulder. I put her down to my lap and she starts grunting and straining, so put her back on the shoulder and there is another tiny burp. This can go on for literally 3 hours!! After an hour she is so desperate for sleep she starts crying when she is grunting/straining.

We have tried everything we can think of - winding during the feed, not offering her second boob in case she is overfeeding and giving herself tummy ache, giving her dummy to see if she just wants comfort sucking - nothing seems to make any difference! I know its not colic because she isn't screaming in agony thank goodness, but does anyone have advice? Should I just keep on feeding on demand until she falls asleep on boob, or do you think she is overfeeding due to comfort sucking or have I got it completely wrong?? Help! I am starting to doubt my abilities to feed her properly and I am overanalysing the feeding because of my problems with it before. Any help gratefully appreciated!!

A conundrum.... Hope you solve it. My dd2 (now 5m) used not to bring up her wind well on my shoulder, but would like to lie across my arm ('tiger in the tree') for a while after a feed so I could massage her tummy. Also she burps better if I sit her up and pat her back with her head resting in my hand.
Also, my first daughter used to cry after feeds, until I started putting her in a reclining bouncy chair, presumably it eased slight reflux.

Good Luck

Hi there fellow sufferer! My DS is ten weeks old and I too have been doing battle with the old "windy pops". A lot of his wind is from the bottom end,as I have heard is common with breastfeeding and therefore requires a bit more working through. I rub his tummy gently in a clockwise direction frequenty and gently bicycle his legs, or scrunch them up to his tummy either before or fifteen minutes or so after his feeds. Rather than just patting his back, I've als started stroking upwards. I also use Infacol before his feeds, which really seems to help.
May I also suggest that rather than "feeding on demand" I try for a three hour cycle, with a bit of tanking up (also known as cluster feeds) in the early evening (the baby whisperer method). Each feed should last for between 20 mins to 45 mins. I like this method because it reassures me that DS is taking in enough milk. In reality, however, some days my DS really has to feed more frequently but this could be due to growth spurts. I would suggest avoiding letting them suckle off you, unless you are happy to be a human dummy and don't intend on leaving the babe with anyone else at bedtime.
In all honesty, I really struggle with breastfeeding, both with DD and now with DS, but have found it to become easier as time progesses. Family members who were initially very supportive have tended towards the "why not just stick them on the bottle", which although well meaning does undermine confidence somewhat. But do look at DS1 and ask yourself how much does it really really matters how they are fed at the end of the day. How much do you feel it has affected them or your relationship with them.
In regards to the afternoon/early evening fussing, my DS also does this too. He sleeps really well during the mornings and night times are going pretty well, but betwen 3pm ish and 10pm appears to begin to fight his sleep. I don't really know why, but he is pretty sensitive to his surroundings and it doesn't take much to through him off his sleep. He isn't the sort of baby who sleeps in the car or his pram, favouring instead to gaze up at the light. I do wonder if by the afternoon his brain is somewhat overloaded and it takes a lot lot longer for him to wind down.
Apologies if none of this is of any help. It is still early days for you guys, and it isn't easy with two.

Tomlin - when your dd comes off that first breast, it's normal for there to be still milk there. It's a myth that babies have to empty the breast - they never do

This would be the time to let her have a little break, as you are doing. You could then put her on the second breast (I think that's what you're doing). Then after this, if she starts fussing and grunting, put her on the first breast again....it sounds like from your post you don't do this, but instead try to pat her etc? It is normal for babies sometimes to have three, even four sides, and to 'cluster feed' like this all evening.

I am not sure why you are unhappy about feeding until she falls asleep - at 4 weeks most babies do this, I would say. Just go with her flow. I would be surprised if it is wind bothering her - it's just she wants to be on and off the breast and close to you

Hi All thanks very much for your replies.

Tiktok - since reading your post I have tried going back and forth between breasts and you were right, she did still want more suckling. She is now settling much more easily so I guess she must still have been hungry. Just goes to show you shouldn't listen to your MIL....

Dolly - I have also started trying DD on a playmat thing during the day and she does seem to find it better to be able to stretch out instead of being held.

Pastmaster - thanks for the tips on the massage, I will try that. I have heard mixed reports on Infacol and I don't think DD has colic as she isn't screaming constantly, but will bear that in mind for the future.

The grunting/winding is still a problem but is not waking her up as much, and much easier to wind when she has been asleep and is full, so we will just stick with it and not see it as a problem.

Thanks for all your replies and helpful advice!