Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

How to increase gap between feeds?

30 replies

gingerkirsty · 09/06/2010 18:39

DD is 16 wks old and from what I understand 'should' be feeding roughly every 4 hours.

About a month ago she was on a 3 hr cycle waking once (3am ish) for a night feed (I was dream feeding her at about 10.30). However this went up the spout when she got a cold. She was so blocked up she really struggled to feed, so I had to feed her every hour or so to get enough milk into her. I have yet to get her back on to a 3 hour cycle and she is still waking 2 or 3 times through the night too

I have started giving her formula for her dream feed to try to get her to sleep through longer which worked for the first night (Friday I think it was) but not since.

I was vaguely following the baby whisperer EASY routine before (pre cold!), but now she seems to need to sleep more than once in a 4 hour period so I can't see how to follow this.

I am also trying to train her to go to sleep in her cot (rather than me rocking her to sleep) using PUPD and a little bit of CC. This is using 'The Baby Sleep System'. However when I posted on their forum asking a question about early waking, their first response was 'get her on a 4 hour routine' - BUT HOW?!?!?!

I am now feeling stressed and confused, have made reasonable progress getting her to put herself to sleep but I now feel like I'm doing everything wrong! Sorry, not normally like this but the forum response has really thrown me!

Any advice would be gratefully received

OP posts:
Original poster
gingerkirsty · 09/06/2010 18:50

Bumping for my sanity

OP posts:
greenbananas · 09/06/2010 18:57

Personally I'd throw all the books out of the window and go with whatever your DD wants. This is such a precious time and your baby won't be this small forever. Very few babies are happy to go along with the grand schemes for their wellbeing that you find in babycare manuals.

That forum response really is scandalously inappropriate and unsympathetic! It's perfectly normal for a baby this small to feed every couple of hours and wake plenty of times during the night. Her tummy is only tiny and she needs to keep feeding - she's got a lot of growing to do!

Original poster
gingerkirsty · 09/06/2010 19:06

Thank you greenbananas - I know what you mean but at the same time I need some kind of routine, so that i know roughly what time she is due for a nap, so that i can arrange my activity for the day around that.

At the moment I never know when she is due for a sleep so virtually any time I go out she gets tired and then has a bad quality nap whilst out.

I am currently teaching her to go down for a sleep without being rocked, and noting down all her nap times, in the hope that some kind of pattern emerges.

I would at least like to get back to the 3 hr cycle she was on before, as I know she doesn't need feeding more often than that!

Any advice anyone can give on how to achieve this would be great

OP posts:
Original poster
gingerkirsty · 09/06/2010 19:29

Bumping!

OP posts:
Ronaldinhio · 09/06/2010 19:34

use lots of lube and make sure that you aren't being pressurised into it

Original poster
gingerkirsty · 09/06/2010 19:34

Aha ha ha ha very helpful thanks!

OP posts:
BosomsByTheSea · 09/06/2010 19:37

Dont plan your day around her naps, I'd say she'll nap if she needs to if you take her along.

Babies are all different, and nobody's written a book about your dd yet

Nice thread-awareness tactic, by the way! I like your style

thisisyesterday · 09/06/2010 19:42

if she is 16 weeks old she is probably going through a growth spurt. big one at this age

there is no "should" with a breastfed baby. they feed little and often. some bottle fed babies go longer between feeds, becasue it is harder to digest, and of course a few BF ones do... but I certainly would not expect a 16 week old to be going any longer than 2-3 hours between feeds to be honest with you
night wakings is also usual

just because she USED to do something, doesmn't mean it's right for her now. if she is ahving a growth spurt then she will feed more frequently to increase your supply. The more you try and mess with this and stop her doing it, the longer it will take your supply to match her demand and the longer it will be before she stops!

I'm sorry if this isn't what you want to hear, but the best thing for your baby, and your milk supply is to feed, on demand, not to a schedule, regardless of whether it makes it easier for you. she isn't rtying to make things difficult for you, she is just doing what she needs to do.

fwiw i would also not be doing any form of controlled crying with a 16 week old.

Original poster
gingerkirsty · 09/06/2010 19:53

Thanks thisisyesterday hadn't thought of growth spurt, you are probably quite right!

Am doing CC for 5 mins at a time where necessary, only on the occasion where PUPD is winding DD up. And crying for a few minutes really seems to help her wind down.

Anyway will bear growth spurt in mind and carry on feeding when she wants!

Thanks again

OP posts:
TubbyDuffs · 09/06/2010 19:53

Bloody hard work isn't it!

I'm on baby number 3 and she is 7.5 months and I only now feel like I am getting into any kind of routine with feeds/sleeps and then it gets thrown out every few days!

My boys were great, 4 hourly feeds and weaned easily. My girl (number 3) has a very small apetite compared to the boys and needs to feed little and often.

You just have to go with the flow. Things do eventually sort themselves out. I am weaning her at the moment and have got round to three meals a day and 3 bottles, but still working on the right amount a day to get her to sleep through!

My first DS was weaned at 4 months and didn't sleep through until 6 months, he woke at 4am every day; it was only when he was eating protein at 6 months that he slept through. My second DS, however, slept through at 3 months and he was only on milk (breast and formula).

Just go with what baby wants and things will (I promise) work their way out, it really is a very short term thing until they are eating what you are and satisfied.

Just my opinion and my personal experience.

Good luck xx

Habbibu · 09/06/2010 19:57

If you can, take a couple of days to just watch you baby - look for her cues for hunger and tiredness, and follow them asap - you will probably find that there is a pattern, and if you assist her in falling into it, things will settle down.

I have heard that TBW isn't that hot on breastfeeding, and in growth spurts you really do want to respond to increase your supply accordingly.

Original poster
gingerkirsty · 09/06/2010 20:07

I have been watching her all week and no discernible pattern so far! Will keep going though!

Thank you

OP posts:
ChocolateMoose · 09/06/2010 21:22

I seem to remember the Baby Whisperer stating that a baby over 4 months should be on a 4 hour cycle of sleeping and feeding, but mine was only just moving from feeding every 2 hours at that point. Like Habbibu said, I've found it really helpful to keep a note over a few days of sleeps and feeds to predict when he'll be hungry or tired. Then of course you have to do it all over again when it changes.

Good luck with working it out, and don't stress too much about what the books say, just pick the bits that work for you.

Iggisfulloftayto · 09/06/2010 21:31

If I could go back and do it again, I would forget about how long it had been since last feed and just offer it whenever he cried etc. God I think that would have been easier.
(Except, obviously, at night unless you're co-sleeping, which I didn't).
I'm sure eventually your baby would confirm to your routine if you keep going with it, but I would think carefully about whether it's really worth it? Best of luck.

littlesez · 09/06/2010 21:43

Im no expert but cc for a 16 week old sounds a bit harsh I did feeding on demand and still do at 15months although its only about 4-5 times a day. At 16 weeks she was still on and off the boob really frequently.

I would say go with what you want to do though your baby ,but why do you need to stretch the feeds? I remember reading all kinds of books and it just stressed me out so I stopped reading them and just let my baby decide on her own routine.

katiepotatie · 09/06/2010 21:45

All babies are different, and she hasn't read the books , ds is now 13 months and only been in a routine since he started on solids at around 7 months (and still wakes in the night for milk ) just go with the flow, they are only little for such a short time. Will she not nap while you are out??

MigGril · 10/06/2010 12:05

She's still so little it's best just to go with the flow at this age. BF babies need feeing little and offten as they digest BM very quickly. I don't even know many formula fed babies who go 4 hours between feed's I think 3 hours is more comone at this age.

DD fed every 2 hours untill she was 8months, and to be quit honist napped either on me or when out and about in puschair.

I think you'll find that even most books don't recomend CC untill at lest 6 months. Babies at this age only really cry when they need something. They don't understand course and effect so don't learn that crying means you'll come and pick them up untill around 12months If I remeber correctly.

Enjoy this time with your baby it goes so quickly.

Morloth · 10/06/2010 12:07

I couldn't go 4 hours without a drink (except overnight and even then I get some water if I wake up), is a bit much to expect a baby to.

Try to stop watching the clock, life is so much easier.

ChopWoodCarryWater · 10/06/2010 12:15

4 months too young for CC/sleep training.

Enjoy your baby - gve her a cuddle.

Get rid of Baby Whisperer and read Dream Babies instead.

Feed your baby when she wants it to keep up with demand/make more milk.

PLENTY of time for self settling when she is bigger and can understand more!

At the mo if she is crying she wants her mummy and rightly so!

Even Ferber (the daddy of CC says not suitable until 1 year!)

Sorry for bossy post .

IsItMeOr · 10/06/2010 12:24

You've already had lots of good advice. I just wanted to say that I also found that forum pretty unhelpful - too black and white and babies aren't like that.

Ferber actually doesn't recommend cc until about 6 months. Sorry ChopWood - you're mistaken on that one!

ChopWoodCarryWater · 10/06/2010 20:27

he used to - was reading an article about how he has a new book coming out or something and he is apparently expected to do an about turn on some of his recommendations in the light of recent research.

IsItMeOr · 10/06/2010 21:33

Ooh - that's interesting ChopWood. I'll have to decide whether to look further into that or not, as we went down the CC route with DS at 8.5mo in absolute desperation. Not sure I could handle the guilt .

IsItMeOr · 10/06/2010 21:42

Ah - couldn't resist google. I think you might have been reading an old article from when he revised his book in 2006? If you look at this link, you'll see it talks about rumours he'd reversed his position, which turned out not to be true. We have the 2006 book, and honestly I was dead set against him, but found his approach one of the more humane ones in the various books we read.

RubyBuckleberry · 11/06/2010 11:54

sorry IsItMeOr probably was - i am sure though the article was current and he has another one out later this year - it also says CC is not suitable for every baby apparently... don't you just love experts!

differentnameforthis · 11/06/2010 12:18

It is a myth that formula will make them sleep longer. IMO, you are trying too hard, too soon.

With dd2 I let her guide me (I didn't bf dd1, but did dd2 for 5 mths). She fed somewhere in between 2-3 hourly to start with, increasing to 31/2 for some time, depending on how long she fed for previously.

My theory is that she will drop into some sort of routine gradually.

It may be possible that she is teething, or still feeling the effects of her cold.

Please don't expect too much, or rush your way through these early months, they really are precious!

Swipe left for the next trending thread