Anyone breastfed dc to sleep past 12 months?

[LiegeAndLief]

Not really sure whether to put this here or in Sleep...

Dd is 11 months and has always been bf to sleep at bedtime and rocked to sleep for naps. I have tried to get her down "drowsy but awake" a few times with disastrous results. She sometimes sleeps through after a dream feed, often wakes once or twice for a cuddle, sometimes goes back down easily, sometimes not so easily!

I'm fairly happy feeding to sleep, but am wondering what happens next. Did cc with ds to get him to self settle, which in hindsight I regret, and don't want to do with dd. Did you have to do anything to "help" your dc to self settle when bf stopped working (and when was that)? Will she miraculously just turn over in her cot and drop off one day? Will I be bfing her to sleep forever?!

Me. I think you have to have a folky username tbh.

I took the path of least resistance and went with it. About 19 months ish she started latching off of her own accord. I encouraged this. Now she never, ever feeds to sleep. She is 3 though. I think developmentally, maybe with a bit of a nudge once you see them starting to do it, it can happen rather seamlessly.

DS still feeds to sleep with me at 2.4, but will also do it with a cuddle.

He stays with his dad 3 nights a week and he cuddles him to sleep too.

I guess we probably wish we didn't have to get him to sleep, but we're used to it and he sleeps pretty well in the night.

I'm due to have another about now, and I suspect that DS will get a shorter bedtime feed and snuggle up to me to go to sleep while I'm feeding the baby and will eventually self-settle.

(I do think though that he would be sending himself to sleep better if his dad and I hadn't split - he's coped really well but seems to need the extra comfort at night)

I did - dd was still feeding to sleep sometimes at nearly 3. But I was happy to do it, and she just gradually did it less and less often until she finally stopped and went off to sleep after a story.

Sometimes bf my 2.5yr old to sleep - not a problem.

I stopped bf DS at 13mths, stopped feeding him to sleep (mostly) around 11mths. Spent a month or so doing something along the lines of the pick up/put down method, then a bit longer doing 'gradual withdrawal' and from around 18mths he has been quite happily lying down and dropping off on his own at night - even after we moved him into a bed. He's 3.5 now.
Never did master naps though - we took him out for a drive to get him to nap until he dropped them a few months back.

I did this for both of mine, and it doesn't set up problems for the future.

However, we introduced reading stories at bedtime and, when I was ready to stop (they would have carried on indefinitely) at about 14 months, my husband would read them a story instead.

For a while, he could put them to bed without a BF (obviously) but if I put them to bed, they would expect to be BF.

However, still stay with the 3 year old whilst she goes to sleep (it only takes 5 mins). She kind of expects it. However, if someone else puts her to bed (granny, friend) this doesn't happen.

I carried on feeding at bedtime until DD was 2.
I know that bf's magic putting-to-sleep effect started working less and less often in the months before she turned 2, can't remember exactly when, but for a few months she would feed for a bit, latch off WIDE AWAKE and then absolutely refuse to go in her cot, and not let me leave the room/bed until she had fallen asleep (lying on my bed with her arms twined possessively round my neck). Sometimes it took hours for her to drop off.

The week before her second birthday we bought her a grown up bed, and I stopped the bedtime milk completely. She was absolutely fine, settled down in the bed with a story, happy for us to leave the room with her awake, fell asleep of her own accord - and she has been doing so ever since. Don't know if she was just ready at that point and it was a lucky coincidence, or if we should have made the move to the grown up bed much earlier.

I fed DD1 to sleep until she was 2.5. She started sleeping through just before turning two.
Still feeding DD2 (14mths) to sleep. She will go down awake (ish) though. And last night she stunned the hell out of us by sleeping for 8 hours straight. Previously 3hrs was a good stretch.

Good luck with whatever you choose.

Ha! Very topical subject in our house. Am still feeding ds2 to sleep, he is 2 and half. he is such a difficult sleeper i just accepted anything to get him to sleep and was too terrified to change it in case we wnet back to up all night stuff.

ds3 born 3 weeks ago, and the logistics of bf ds2 to sleep with a cluster feeding baby in the evenings and me exhausted all a nightmare. DH has been lovely and tried to get ds2 to sleep and been successful twice, but not until 9.30-10pm. also ds1 (4yo) playing up. lots of stress and shouting in our house at bedtime!

you could try the no cry sleep solution book by elizabeth pantley - it is ideal for weaning off bf to sleep gradually, but it's not really worked for me but then maybe i haven't tried properly. it made me feel better about bf to sleep though, and night wakings.

tabitha - am thinking of getting a bed for ds2 to see if that helps, interested to read your experience, thanks.

My DS is still BF to sleep at 23 months, my dh can get him to sleep with books and cuddling (takes up to an hour though) but with me it has to be feeding - however, can still take up to an hour and sometimes more. There's no magic feeding to sleep any more, it's more that with me he can't fall asleep without it. We can never leave him to go to sleep alone, he goes ballistic - but he doesn't really let us leave him alone in the day either.

nesomja, i know how it is, ds2 has only gone to sleep ever with someone else about 5 times. the other 800 odd nights it's been me, quite intense to think of it! and no understanding from family and friends who don't see why we can't leave him or go out etc.

he took longer and longer to get to sleep until we stopped his daytime nap, then we had about 6 months of going to sleep in 5 minutes, before 7pm. now back to a battle, no idea what the solution is...

DD is still usually bf to sleep and is nearly 18 months. With DS I made efforts to make sure that he didn't fall asleep at the breast at about 12 months as everyone told me that it would stop him waking up for bf at night.

It didn't, and he didn't reliably sleep through the night until 2 yrs. Shortly after the sleeping through started he gave up bf altogether (I was pg and his feeds were v limited)

So with DD I have decided to go with the flow and feed her to sleep if she needs it. A couple of weeks ago I was out past bedtime so my mum and DH put her to bed, DD chugged a beaker of cowsmilk and then fell asleep on my mum's ample bosom before transferring to the cot. So I know if I'm not around she will go to sleep (eventually). And we've even had a couple of sleep throughs in the past couple of weeks.

My Ds1 always has a bf before bed, but we don't really feed to sleep as such anymore (he is 3). He will feed and then unlatch (me initiating mainly) and then lies there until he goes to sleep. He used to roll over and go to sleep in the corner of his bed, but has recently started insisting on lying 'on booby, open' which means I get a cold stomach and a stiff arm!

Like you, I wondered how I would ever get him to the drowsy, sleep-ready state without bf and it just happened gradually. I did encourage it by suggesting that we were finished and that it was cuddle time now instead. If he really protested I wouldn't force it, but over time he got used to it. There is also the odd occasion when he will have already had a feed but then has a second wind and plays for a bit then goes to bed and has a cuddle without asking (or me suggesting any more bf).

He won't go to sleep for DH unfortunately, if I am in the house. He now won't nap for me during the day either (even if bf), but will still nap at nursery (when obviously no boob is on offer).

Ds2 is very different - unless exhausted he rarely falls asleep at the breast, he will lie quietly and will drop off himself. He also has a dummy which I deliberated about for a while, but I came to the conclusion that I preferred another option instead of him being completely reliant on me. He still won't sleep for DH though!

ds2 is nearly 2 and we sometimes feed to sleep and sometimes rock to sleep in the buggy

ds1 fed to sleep until about 3 and then i taught him to self settle - it was gradual and not too distressing

nature's given us an easy way to get babies to sleep - why resist it?

Fed ds to sleep until stopped bf at 21mo. It was the most useful feed so it was the last to go!

I miss it now, used to take 5 mins of feeding for him to drop off, now it's an hour of stories, songs, etc. Don't knock it, OP, it's so convenient. Plus, any time you want to change things you can but there's really no rush.

Yes, was doing this until a few months ago I think - DS has just turned 3. I did nothing to change it - I noticed he was doing it less and less and I now can't remember the last time he was fed to sleep.

weasle, I remember that nightmare I used to feed DD just before DS's bedtime and give her to DH, she used to SCREEEEEEAM. Occasionally I used to tandem feed them. You'll be glad to know it gradually got better, we went through a phase when she was about 5/6 months of her going to sleep after that feed and she'd sleep through me putting DS to bed. Now she is awake after that feed, I hand her to DH, he reads her a story and she's asleep within minutes - no screaming I would not like to go back but it did get easier quite quickly.

thanks SPB, and am feeling sooo much better to see there are others out there feeding to sleep or who have done it. i know no-one in rl who has fed beyond 6 months really.

i tried tandem feeding for about 10seconds the other night and HATED it!

Thanks a lot for all your replies, you have definitely made me feel better about it! Was starting to think I might be the only person in the world feeding a huge 11 month old to sleep (or lugging her up and down the bedroom when the magic bullet doesn't work). I do quite enjoy it most of the time - not so keen when she doesn't go off so easily and there is lots of nipple chewing and general scratching and tugging and pinching though.

I guess I am a bit worried that she will never go to sleep without me, and I will never be able to go out ever ever again, although am pleased to see that isn't the case for all of you.

Weasle, I do hope things get better for you soon. I did ds's bedtime stories and songs etc quite a bit when dd was newborn, as he was feeling pushed out, all to the sound of dd screaming herself sick downstairs with poor dh!

ShowOfHands, I think we may have crossed paths before as I remember commenting on your similarly folky name! Excellent choice, if not quite as good as Fairport

yes, weasl.e it's horrible again, gets better imo

Liege you may want to see if you can introduce a second way of getting her to sleep - this does give you more of a chance to go out occasionally
we used to use a sling with ds1 and rock him to sleep - dp would sometimes give him a bottle first
with ds2 he likes going to sleep in the buggy if pushed around for long enough

there's nothing wrong with feeding to sleep, but a back up plan never hurts

Used to go out plenty before DS stopped bf- in fact I work evenings so DH and various sitters have had to do bedtime since he was 6mo. He preferred to bf to sleep but they quickly get used to not having a feed if you're not there.

Eventually, DH was able to do bedtime even when I was in the house. He gave him milk and stories, then sang and rocked him which worked fine.

I feed my 13 month old to sleep and did the same with his older brother. When I was sure the older one was old enough to understand, I stopped feeding to sleep and started leaving him to settle himself after a story. It worked!

My 13 month old will sleep for others and DH is very good at getting him off to sleep through endless pacing of landings.

I'm still feeding my 15 month old to sleep (apart from nights when DH gets her to sleep) and Both DSs fed to sleep. They don't any more and my 4.5 yo can now get to sleep withohut anyone even being in the room with him (a big deal for him)

Love this thread, also feeding 11month old to sleep, it just works so well and he's not always a great sleeper. Noone I know in rl does this so relief to read the thread. Buggies and slings work too though, and he does sleep for dh when I'm out but it takes ages.