Newborn breastfeeding - think my expectations were/are completely naive!

[pepperonipizza]

Just looking for some advice/ information on newborn feeding and what's normal really. I am BF newborn DS, who is 7 days old. I have only just realised that, in all my extensive reading throughout pregnancy, I seem to have completely missed finding out how often I should be feeding, how long it's okay to leave DS without a feed before I wake him, etc.!

He is more or less recovered from mild jaundice, and I was advised to wake him to feed every 3 hours day and night as he needed to eat and wasn't always waking himself because of the jaundice. I have also found getting the hang of BF tricky (and emotional, though that's probably just post-birth hormones ) but feel that we're turning the corner now.

So - my questions are really:

1. how often can I expect to feed him? He has been waking for food every 2.5 - 3 hours in the day, sometimes more often (not sure about night as have been waking him up every 3 hours to feed him up because of the jaundice. Am just going to confirm with HV that all is good now then planning to let him sleep at night until he wakes for food; is that okay?).

1. it seems like I'm feeding him pretty much constantly at the moment, every 2.5 - 3 hours and each feed takes an hour or so. How long does it take til he gets more efficient at feeding and does it quicker? Will I ever be able to get anything done?!

1. finally, any tips for knowing when he's giving hunger cues? He sucks his hands a lot, but also roots after an hours feed and won't go back on the breast so I know he's not hungry then. Finding it very tricky to know when he's hungry and when he's not! He also falls asleep in a gorgeous, passed out kind of way after a good feed, but then wakes up when I put him in the basket, and sucks his fingers and sometimes roots again. Very confusing!!

Thanks in advance for any pearls of MN wisdom. I'm finding being a new mum is pretty tough

Newborns tummy's are tiny so they need feeding a LOT as that part of it sounds normal to me hun!

The first few weeks are really tough, and you are doing really well to keep going I personally worked on the assumption that pretty much anything was a hunger cue, as their stomachs are a size of a walnut. Doesn't hurt to offer them the breast at every opportunity - they can only not be interested and then you can check everything else!

Some babies really love to suck - my DS adores it! - so once bfing is established, you might want to try a dummy. DS learnt to suck his thumb at about 7 weeks which really cut down on the comfort sucking, and meant the feeds were actually feeds as opposed to feed a bit, suckle a bit, feed a bit, suckle a bit.

My DS fed roughly the same as yours, but now at 18 weeks he feeds roughly every 2/3 hours, for 5 mins which is fab. He is a bit of a snacker, but as the feeds are so quick, I'm not really bothered. About 6 weeks he got much quicker with the feeds, but to be honest it's only recently that he has been happy to entertain himself/sleep not on me and I've been able to get anything done. TBH, I didn't mind too much, as I love the sleepy milky snuggles, and quite miss them now he doesn't really want to snooze on me

Something I found useful was to get some boxsets (I got Greys Anatomy ) and watch them on the sofa or in bed on my iPhone, so I didn't mind too much. In fact, I almost looked forward to the night feeds (almost!)

Congratulations, and well done on bfing - the beginning is hard, but it gets soooooo much easier later on.

A lot of newborns feed every 2hours sometimes more frequently. Just keep feeding as often as he wants it. You may find he feeds then wants a top up 30 mins later.
He will get more efficient feeding but for now its lots of days sitting on the sofa with lots of snacks with a book to read or the telly on.
Putting them in a sling helps you to get bits done, but unfortunately the housework has to drop down the priority list for a while.

www.kellymom.com has good info on newborn feeding habits.

Have you got any breastfeeding cafes near you to help support you with breastfeeding.

My expectations of bf were completely naive, i assumed that dd4 would go as long in between feeds and my others who were bottle fed.

The hardest thing for me was, having to sit down and feed I was so used to being able to give dh the baby and get on with washing/drying/cooking. But looking back (dd4 is now 31weeks tomorrow) I am glad that I have bf as it meant I could rest and get others to do the cooking/cleaning which was horrbile letting dh loose in my kitchen.

My biggest piece of advice would be sit on the sofa with the remote control, a plate of sandwiches/snacks and a drink and do nothing but feed your baby. You never get back the baby days enjoy them, housework will still be there tomorrow

Feeding a newborn is very tough - but the good news is that it gets better and easier (in most cases) very quickly That feeding sounds pretty normal.

Hungry cues - when he starts to mutter, look for his hands, root around, those are the biggest cues, generally. If you're not sure, offer anyway.

Get comfy, make sure you have plenty of snacks (or someone to cut up your food ) and have plenty of cuddles Congrats!

All sounds normal, my ds fed about every 1-2 hrs for the first 8 wks when I managed to stretch out the feeds to every 2-3 hrs. I was surprised by the frequency too as most of the books/HV seem to say should be about every 3/4hrs but I think that only really works for ff babies. All my friends who bf on demand have had roughly the same experience.

It is very difficult with the cues - what I learnt (eventually!) was that sometimes when I thought ds was hungry he was actually just tired and so would latch on but then go to sleep quite quickly. So once I'd worked this out and he was about 6wks so didn't need to feed quite so constantly then if he had fed within the last 1-2hrs I would try to get him to go to sleep (rocking/cuddling/gentle bouncing etc) rather than immediately feeding him.

Oh and watch out for the growth spurts where they really do seem to feed even more constantly than normal (I know it doesn't seem possible but it is believe me!) nobody warns you much about those either

It is tough but definitely worth it and it gets easier

With both my dds, if they were/are eating their hands/rooting/waking up straight after or not long after a feed, this was a sign that they either a. had wind to bring up from the last feed so needed to be burped, or b. they needed a top up. I think if your ds is rooting/trying to suck but won't go on the breast, he probably isn't hungry but may be looking for comfort because he is uncomfortable. Do you burp him after each feed?

What others said, pretty much expect him to be constantly at the boob! It does settle down, I promise.

Oh, and dd who was bottlefed on demand was like this too (no 3hr feeding for her). So not just bf - just babies who need food/comfort little and often.

Keep going - I felt my boobs were magic! (who cares if it's hunger or sucking or comfort or sleep - it does the trick!)

and congratulations!!!

Thanks everyone for the amazing advice. It is REALLY helpful and has really given me a boost. I'll keep going and like you all say, I'm sure it will be worth it. It's lovely BF him now, just relentless!

LGTPS - he does seem a very sucky baby! Great to know it's completely normal and have the dummy option up my sleeve (though people really seem to frown at them, don't they?!).

Thanks again everyone.

my mum says that early on, if in doubt plug them on. they are establishing your milk supply for you, will need the boob to connect/be with mum, and it is comforting for them. they have been inside you for nine months!

1. 2.5/3 hours is good - sounds like he is getting a bellyfull which is good, although more frequently is absolutely fine too! my ds never went longer that 3 hours (except at night) until he started eating food. ignore all the four hour routine thing, although again, if your DC gets enough milk to last 4hours, that is cool too.

2. i seem to remember DS getting really quite efficient around 10week/3 month mark - feeds went down to 10minutes or under. but this is different for all babies i imagine. he was/is a very distractable boy so from four months would snack in the day and take 3 course dinners at night . he still takes a longer, more focused feed in the early hours (8mo) but that is another issue!

3. he used to make a baby bird face and move his head like he was looking for the nipple - literally like a baby bird in a nest! hand sucking or hitting his mouth randomly. rooting on DHs shoulder. make a kind of coughing/back of throat noise - this would happen around the 2.5/3 hour mark early on.

hth

not got any advice really but just wanted to say I am pretty much in the same boat but a week further on than you, and even in that week things have got a lot better (spent last weekend in hysterics on the phone to mw/bf specialists!) so don't give up!
Sometimes I am feeding every hour, and sometimes she will go 3-4 hours so I am just trying to feed whenever she seems keen to latch on and that seems to be working for now.
It is knackering but I just keep thinking it will get quicker and easier in a few weeks!

What you are experiencing is exactly what I experienced with my DD who is now 9 weeks old. The questions you are asking are exactly the same questions that I had!

Feed on demand - whenever your DC wants fed go for it. I initiailly found that my DD would want to feed every 4 hours for up to 2 hours. After a couple of weeks she fed roughly every 2 hours for half an hour, then around week 4 she went through a period where all of her feeds were for 5-10 minutes. I stressed about this but she continued to gain weight so she must have been getting enough milk. Now, at week 9, my DD feeds roughly every 2-3 hours for between 30 minutes and an hour. I find it depends on my flow - for example, in the morning I am very full with a strong let down so her feeds are much quicker. My DD likes to take breaks during feeds - this can be difficult when we are out as I think she is finished when sometimes she is not.

Re: hunger cues, for the first 4-6 weeks the only cue my DD gave was screaming - she would literally waken up and scream instantly until fed. Now she sucks her fist and opens her mouth. Her breating also changes and is more rapid when she wants fed.

My midwife advised that newborns should not be left for any longer than 4 hours during the day and 6 hours during the night between feeds. My DD always wanted fed before this anyway so I didnt really have to think about it.

I meant to say, my DD will often sck her fist aftr a feed when I think she is finished - I have just realised that she often does this when she is tired and she will often fall asleep without me picking her up to feed again. This seems to be normal for alot of people by the look of things so its been really reassuring for mr to read this thread!