3 month old who wants to BF to sleep

[kieragro]

i am the mother of DD1- EBF until one year old. she now has a lot of issues getting to sleep at night- alot of Gina Ford's 'sleep associations'. i attribute alot of the issues we now experience to breastfeeding.. don't get me wrong... i would not have fed her any other way.. i just wish i could have done some things differently. i now have DD2 who is 3 months old and EBF. i really want to feed her for the full year as well. However, i can see the problems starting now. she uses me as her soother for every sleep and if she is agitated and wakens up throughout a sleep period she will scream until she gets BF (usually only for a few seconds!!). i want to be able to feed her, burp her and then place her in her cot to settle herself- am being too unrealistic?? at present i am like a bomb handler placing her in the cot with great precision in case i breathe heavily and wake her.i have tried a dummy but she refuses it and becomes even more agitated when we persist. my husband thinks i should breastfeed for 6 months only and then bottle feed to try and eliminate these sleep issues. PLEASE ADVISE ME!!

keirgro - your dd is normal and her behaviour is totally appropriate for a baby of this age. It can be harder to cope with if you have high expectations of what a 3 mth old would do - it's easier to change your expectations than to change her normal needs and her normal behaviour

Honestly, with a baby as young as this, whose needs and behaviour are likely to change as she grows anyway, it can be easier to go with the flow

She really, really does not have 'sleep issues', from what you say here. If you can work out ways to live with it while it lasts, it will help

I can only offer help on one particular approach.

Go with the flow!

Nature designed breastfeeding to be the most phenomenal sleep aid. That's actually a great tool in the parenting armoury, as I see it. Any other method aint gonna be as good. My first was a velcro baby and I quickly decided not to persevere with my futile and distressing attempts to put her down to sleep on her own. Her eyes would snap open the second she was seperated from my arms or breast. I just let her lead the way and peace ensued. I decided to wean her, and then move her into her own bed when she showed signs of being ready and happy to do it, and she goes to sleep like an angel now. There's no evidence that giving her what she wanted, for as long as she needed, made her more dependent. In fact, I suspect she felt so confident and trusted me to meet her needs that she had no fears when the time came to be more independent.

It hasn't occurred to me to ask my ds (4m) to self settle. I'm actually thrilled that he allows me to put him down once he's asleep. Sometimes!

Good luck with whatever approach you choose.

ooh, two votes for go with the flow!

I had exactly the same with dd,she had to be fed or held to sleep till 14 months when we resorted to controlled crying So when ds came along, I was adamant he would be able to settle himself, he is EBF and at around 3.5 months when he started to look sleepy I would put him down and let him try to settle himself, I used to leave him to cry or about 5 mins or so(something I would never have done with dd), he would start to settle he does have a dummy and a comfort blanket, which I know I will have to deal with later. He is still BF at 13 months, but when he's tired he just wants to be in bed, and not attached to me I'm not sure if this will be of any help, just wanted to give you my experience that it is possible to carry on BF, and get some sleep
I hope things get easier for you

thanks everyone. i know what you are all saying about breastfeeding... it is natural and we are meant to go with the flow.. think i am just panicking as she is a great baby and sleeps quite well when she gets there. i have a lot of friends who bottle feed and their babies are put in their cots at aorund 7 and sleep through the night... i guess the pressure is there to get them to be independent from such a young age- Gina Ford !!!! i really don't want to let her cry yet... she is a very happy baby and becomes very distressed when we leave her. I am not keen on co- sleeping but i do realise that if i were to do this there would be no issues at all. Why do we have to force our children to separate from us at such a young age? so many debates!!! maybe i should just go with the flow- have so far with her... demand feeding etc and she takes much longer sleeps than her sister ever did- with her i tried to force the GF routine and she protested greatly... Will keep you posted on her progress.