How do I keep B'feeding with 4 older dc's and no dh.Am exhausted.

[pinemartina]

My baby is 8wks and has good weight gain,so I am confident feeding going well.She is a slow feeder and wakes 2-3 hrly every night,often wanting to feed on and off from 2 - 5 am ,so I get no sleep then. DC's are 14,12,9 and 8.I am on my own and babys' father has no contact.
I fed all others until 6 months then onto formula as I returned to work.
I would love to do at least this for my surprise late,last baby.But am totally beyond exhaustion and pulled in so many directions all the time by all the demands on my time and attention.
The school half term has made it ten times harder,as they are all at home all day and up later.It is so difficult to meet everyone's needs.My own are no where.
I would feel such a failure if I stopped feeding.

first of all, congratulations on getting this far. 8 weeks is classic growth spurt time so you could have been experiencing that and it could well settle down form this point forward. sorry if this is all stuff you already know. your children are at a great age to do things for themselves, especially as it is half term. could the older ones organise breakfast in the mornings to give you a lie-in? i would sit down with them all and tell them you need alot of help and maybe agree a treat for them all in a weeks' time. i dont know how feasible this is for you. also, do you have any friends or family that could come in for a few hours every day to let you sleep? or what about homestart? have you got that in your area?

Yes,all the children are very good at helping .DD age 14 has given bottles of ebm a few times at 10pm so I could go to bed after 8pm,but baby is cluster feeding furiously every evening now.
It is easier when they are at school all day as I basically sit on sofa like zombie and feed all day.
I guess it's adjusting back to baby pace when we have all been active for a while now.

Homestart are short of volunteers ,am on waiting list.
No family contact,sadly.
Am co sleeping and wear sling if doing anythin btw.

Wow. It sounds to me like you're doing an amazing job already. Don't underestimate how well you're doing already.

But also no wonder you're tired. As booyhoo said, 8-12 weeks is a bit of a bonkers feeding frenzy ime. And it really drives you round the twist as it can seem totally relentless. Your own needs are totally ignored. It's terrible!

School holidays are really hard at the best of times as well.

So, stuff you can do to make things easier in the mornings? Sorry if this sounds at all patronising or you already do it but I find it helps me a lot.

I lay the breakfast table at night with jam pot, sliced bread out for the kids. All dh has to do it get out the juice, milk and yogs. It saves me 20 mins in the morning when there are far more people milling around.

I have shower last thing at night and in the mornings, just have a general wash. Saves time.

Cooking. When cooking, make twice as much so you can freeze half and serve it up the following week.

Play dates. Have your older kids got any pals you can send them off to for a couple of hours?

Early nights. AT least one night a week go to bed the same time as all the children. Pack them off early if you have to. Even if you're only lying in bed reading, you're resting.

But good luck. You're doing very well and it's little wonder you're tired.

Oh thank you for posting!!
I am doing all those things....I must be hoping for a magic spell I think
Or maybe I'm looking for permission to stop.
I will maybe have to try some mixed feeding before long.

i really am in awe of how much you do. i hope homestart can get someone round to you soon.

what area are you in? would it help to put a shout out on here to see if any lovely MNetters can help you out?

i second the early nights. i know it is difficult with the cluster feeding but as you are already co-sleeping could you go to bed early and let the LO feed as and when? i find when ds comes into bed with me in the morning, i doze while he feeds. i dont even notice now when he is doing it.

I am in S Wales,I know a couple of local MNetters.
How do you feed while dozing- are you lying down? I cant get the hang of that,and can't easily doze sitting up in bed.
I have flat nipples and have to latch her on by hand ,If she comes off I have to do it again as she wont get on by herself,they are too flat.
Not a brilliant latch ,a lot of time ,especially on the one side,other one better,but as she is gaining 8- 10 oz week,and it doesn't hurt,I try not to worry.

It is so difficult when there are different things to do in the day with the others - like sport and music events where they need lifts and I need to watch and speak to teachers,collect friends etc.I just find it so hard to feed on demand around the non-routine stuff,and LO gets compromised - has to wait,and I get flustered.

Feeding lying down:

lie on side, baby facing you (well obviously)
bottom arm curled over own head
some people find it easier to put a pillow or folded fabric (t-shirt etc) under breast to lift it a bit, I never found it helped though
can't remember now how I latched her on, but I definitely had to as well

Or, sit up and latch her on, and then slowly inch down the bed with her and hold her to you while you turn on your side and she's lying next to you.

Definitely a trick worth practising. It was the #1 discovery that helped me.

You're astounding, though, I'm in awe of how well you're doing.

Thanks for that ,I will try tonight.Nice talking to you again tortoise!
Am at a schools music festival where dd's 1 and 2 are singing all day today and tomorrow,so will see how routine is affected...

pm, oh poor you.
Am sorry I didn't spot this until now and you are out for a few days or I would be therem we were away at weekend so only just got back local.

Look though, as the others said 8 weeks is massive growth spurt time. If you can stick it then it should be oevr soon.
Also, if you move onto bottles you might still end up doing most of the feeds overnight so that might actually be worse for you.

Definately try and firgure out how to feed lying down. I would lie down with a pillow behind me so I was half on my side, half on my back, put dd next to me and scoot them down until they were level. They did need a gentle hand on their back sometimes to keep them on their side but once they got the idea they were perfect.
dodgy outfit video here

I foudn with their legs right in my tummy and them pointing away from me was best position.

Have fun today, txt me if you need anything, can come up on weekend if you want me to take them out/watch them for a bit while you kip?