Please help me decide whether to give up BF or carry on!

[Kalikaroo]

DS is 13 months and is BF fed 2 or 3 times during the day then also at night time (we co-sleep and TBH it's easiest for me just to feed him!). He eats well during the day and also drinks water and cows milk from a cup.

I'm pretty much permanently tired .

He's got new teeth coming through at the moment and was permanently on the boob last night. I am knackered this morning and I work full-time. I love BF, but the tiredness is really driving me nuts. I kind of reached the end of my tether this morning and thought that maybe I should just quit?

Could you please help me to decide if I should give up or continue?

Here are the pros and cons of BF, as I see them:

Pros:

1. Health benefits to BF
2. Helps me to reconnect to him after being at work all day
3. He obviously loves it and it makes me happy to make him happy
4. It's nice to have quiet cuddly time together
5. It seems to help me control my weight!
6. It helps him to feel better if he's poorly

Cons:

1. DS wants to feed at night at least a couple of times, and when teething or ill it can be LOTS of times - I'm knackered and have to work the next day.

Actually, I can only think of that con, but it's a BIG one!!!! HELP!

it sounds like you need to sort out the sleeping thing TBH, as you say it's just 'easier' to co-sleep and feed... but it's not easier on you is it!

I was feeling exhausted co-sleeping but once we decided to be strict about DS going in his bed I started feeling much better. I know what you mean about missing the cuddles, but to me it's better than giving up BF - I still get cuddles when he feeds at other times.

I think there's no real need to feed at night by that age, just habit? Nothing wrong with it if you're happy, but you're so tired, I think it might need to change.

(didn't mean to sound harsh BTW)

Breastfeeding is wonderful and you should congratulate yourself on doing it for 13 months. Many, including myself, managed it for considerably less. You're right, it is one big con and for me it would swing it. I give my daughter who is 18months a bottle of milk at night (cows milk) and it does many of your pros - is a great cuddle, she loves it and finds comfort in it. For me there is nothing worse than being tired so I would give myself a huge pat on the back for doing it for 13 months and let it go.

I would also say, just from personal experience, that if you're really wondering whether you should give up or not, then probably you're not ready to. Admittedly I'm biased. But I really regret stopping BF with DD, I wasn't sure if I should at the time, I deeply wish I'd carried on TBH.

Mimi is right though - 13 months is awesome and a lot more than most babies get. It's recently been shown, I think, that the benefits of BF are 'dose related' so literally every BF you've given him has done him good.

Do you have a BF support group locally? They'll have all the advice and experience, and even if you do stop they'll help you with that too.

I am in a very similar position. Still feeding DS, nearly 18m. Happy with it generally, I work part time, and he will settle fine for DH if away overnight.

But he still wants to be fed back to sleep 2-3 times most nights and I am really fed up of it now. Tired. So tired I bore myself complaining how tired I am

I just take it day by day now to make it less depressing! He has slept through 3 times so far this year. Want to wait til he self weans ideally, but would quite like him to self wean now soon TBH.

The first thing I thought of re: teething/BF is that regardless of BFs he's still going to be teething and thus waking, in theory? So stopping would leave you with the 'con' still but no pros... see what I'm saying?

Like I say, that was all just theorising & so I'm sure a more experienced mum will put me right if I'm talking bollocks!

Thankyou everyone for your advice and comments!

Last night DS was a bit better and woke 3 times, which was ok, though not ideal.

I think that I maybe need to separate the BF and sleeping issue by somehow stopping BF at night, which will be difficult. I read Jay Gordon's webpage yesterday and it seems to have a good method for cutting down night feeding. I think in my heart I don't want to stop yet. It's also true that he would probably be up when teething anyway too!

moaningminniewhingesagain - it's difficult isn't it? It would be great to wait until DS selfwean, but it's soooooooo hard when you're permanently exhausted.

I don't have any BF support locally (I live abroad), but I have a couple of friends here who are BF and are having similar issues.

I'm going to try and give up the night feeds starting tonight!! Wish me luck!!!

ooh good luck. what I found helped (although my DS was younger) was still feeding him but actually staying awake and then putting him back. the amount of feeds reduced quite quickly.