BFing after FFing?

[currycrazy]

I ffed my 2 for various reasons but not intentionally selfish ones.
I regret the decisions i made at those times more than anything in the world but they were not informed decisions and FFing was what i knew.
Anyway...if and when i go onto Dc3 i would love to BF.

I would love to go to support groups etc but i am worried i will be frowned upon because of the decisions i have made in the past.Will i get snubbed from the off? i dont think i could bear it.

has anyone FFed Dc´s then gone on to BF others?

thanks

no?

you won't be snubbed if yuou tell them what you just told us

please find a local BFing support group when the time comes, a decent one will not look down on you, they will be happy that you are hoping to BF next time!

my DS was a nightmare breast feeding and we gave uo after 3 weeks. DD is 10 days old and is feeding fine. had some trouble getting the latch right in early days, but going fine now. Hopefully, your baby will take to it just fine, if that's what you want to do.

You won't be frowned upon at all They are there for breastfeeding support and that is what they should give. They are not anti-bottle, and shouldn't make any judgements on the decisions you make, now or in the past. E.g. if you came along and said "I've been breastfeeding but had enough, I want to stop now" they would support you in that.

Good luck!

FWIW I did use FF with my DD, but was BFing as well (found it all pretty difficult). This time BFing is going great, and a lot of it has been to do with the support I've had this time - loads of my new friends have BFed so there's always somebody to ask for advice. BFing isn't always easy, especially at the start, but you know you want to do it and that'll help.

The main thing I've learnt this time round is to have faith in my body (i.e. my boobs!!!).

i don't know that there are selfish reasons for ff - in those cases where it is an active choice (as opposed to being forced to by circumstances) surely it is a choice made using the info the mother has at the time, based on what she thinks is best for her and her baby

i doubt anyone would judge you, and how you fed your other babies is no bar to successful bf/accessing support

make sure you know how and where to access support, there is some fantastic support out there but it is often a case of you finding it rather than it finding you

good luck, hth

I would make it very clear to the midwife at the booking appt that you want to BF for the first time, and that you are worried about finding it difficult, they should be able to tell you where to find help.

chibi I agree - don't mean to sound patronising to the OP but FF is a symptom of a much bigger shift in culture, if it's all you know, why wouldn't you FF?

Plenty of people who work as BF supporters have FFed some of their kids. Any decent group wouldn't judge you for having FFed the past, they would just be glad to help you BF, if that's what you want the next time.

FWIW, I FF DC1 and BF DC2. I have had nothing but fabulous support through out from everyone I have talked to at bf groups etc.

mathsmadmummy thats not patronising, i know what you mean.

I didnt try with my first but i was in a different country and noone i knew BF,at my Mw apptmnt it was "breast or bottle or both" to which i replied bottle and the box was ticked.no info,no questions asked.
second was in UK, i had decided i would like to try but did not do my homework.Midwife never mentioned methods of feeding and never gave me any info..looking back now i think it was because it was my second baby.So i spoke to my mum about it as she had BF us and all she did was moan about Bfing.My relationship is strained with her to say the least though!
Baby was latched on for me at birth and she had a feed...got up to the ward and baby would scream and fuss when i tried to latch her on..i felt so uncomfortable with it all.i asked if i could give her a dummy as she wouldnt settle.. tbh i was trying to deal with it in the ways i knew how at the time .
I was told no as it would intefere with BFing.I asked for a bottle as i was convinced she was starving and again the way i knew how ...i was asked if i wanted help and i said no, i wasnt sure i had wanted to do it in the first place. Dont think it helped that the lady i was sharing with was FF too as i think i just expected it to be the norm really.

WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY! I AM SO WITH MYSELF!! i have looked into it all since and i just feel so crap.I want to do it and succeed next time.

thanks for your posts everyone.im not looking for sympathy or people to humour me just makes me feel better talking about it really.
thanks again

don't beat yourself up - you did what you thought was best, what you felt comfortable with at the time.

you are a different person now, who might make different choices.

that in no way makes what you did then wrong, or something to regret.

oh currycrazy

please stop regretting it. there is a lot more to being a mum than BFing, it's not the be all and end all. babies who have FF grow up just fine, I did! you just have to put that behind you, and focus on the next baby if you have one.

it sounds like you had rubbish support anyway, so really try to be assertive next time - or get OH to be assertive for you!

I'm for you that you didn't have decent help. but hey, if you do BF a baby, you'll make a great peer supporter - you can do a short course and then help other mums.

thanks...i would love to do that mathsmad.
It would be a great way for me to turn it all into a positive and to help others
just have to convince DH in a few years now to let me have another baby lol