Thanks mum - very helpful!

[mamaduckbone]

I've just got back from an afternoon with my mum and the dc's ready to scream.

I'm back to work in 2 weeks full time, 10 month old ds2 is a bfeeding monster but won't take milk any other way. We're trying him with a cup during the day and I'm still feeding him morning and night, and earlier and earlier through the night at the moment (gone from 4am a couple of weeks ago to midnight and 2.30am last night) because he won't take any milk in the day.

So we're at a country fete thingy, in the cream tea marquee, I'm trying to give ds his milk, he's having none of it and trying to clamber inside my top (trying not to give into this so it's not even harder when I go back), mum tries too with no more success.

Comments by mum to sleep deprived and already fed up about going back to work and being in this situation in first place me include "I presume you've tried him with a bottle and a normal teat" - er, yes. "Well, I suppose it's about time you stopped breastfeeding anyway" - er, who says?

Sorry, rant over. On a practical note...shall I just give up with the day time milk attempts, or feed him myself when I'm there and hope he isn't too bothered when I'm not (hasn't been so far) or persevere with this seemingly futile attempt to get him to have milk in a cup? There will also be times when I won't be able to do his bedtime feed (not to mention the fact that I might like a night out that starts before bedtime sometime this millennium) so he really needs to be able to take milk by other means, but it just isn't working.

Thank you anyone who can be bothered to get to the end of this. Any advice gratefully received.

I went back to work FT when DS2 was 10 months old and was often away at bedtime. Although DS2 would take a bottle, more often than not, he wouldn't bother and was quite happy to wait until I got home. At bedtime, he used to have very milky porridge made with cows milk as opposed to formula.

I would say, relax. He's not going to starve himself. FWIW, he continued to bf until he was 19 months old (and only stopped because I am pregnant with DC3 and my milk dried up)

I went back to work (3 full days) when my DD was 10 months old. She was breastfeeding all the time. I started off expressing but she wouldn't take it, and wouldn't drink any sort of milk at nursery.

After a couple of weeks I stopped expressing and she just had water in a sippy cup at nursery, and ordinary food. She was fine. She made up for it in the evenings, at night and on my days off. Once she was over a year old they gave her ordinary cows milk at nursery.

She is now 3.2 and has been FT at nursery since 15 months. She is still BF and would do so all day every day if I let her.

IIWY I would just let him feed when he's with you and don't worry about what will happen when you aren't there. If he will drink water (and he will if he's thirsty) he will be fine.

I would feed him when you are a with him and I would be willing to bet that he is quite happy to take the cup from someone else.

DS2 will not even consider the bottle if I am holding it, but will happily suck it down for DH. DS1 was the same.

Quite right as well, why would you want it that way when you can get it lovely and fresh along with a cuddle?

I am sorry about your stressful day
from personal experience I would say to carry on feeding him during the day when you are around (weekends etc) and get him used to a bottle/cup when you aren't. at ten months, he is prob getting plenty of nutrients without milk during the day anyway, so if you feed (say) morning, when you get home from work, then bedtime then that should be absolutely fine.
best of luck

I'm glad you managed not to kill your DM

Agree with others, your DS will be fine with food with lots of fluid in and will get to the point where he will be interested in other drinks. Try not to worry, you are doing really well

I would feed him when you are there and let others give him a bottle or cup when you aren't - babies know more than we think and he's probably thinking "What is she doing with this?? I know there is milk in here." And yet if you were not around, he wouldn't even think of breastfeeding as an option.

My DS is 20 months, I split from his Dad when he was 13 months old and I was feeding him about 8 times a day at the time, still now feeding 3-4 times, and he would normally have had milk several times during the time he is with his Dad, but he doesn't ask for it at all - he understands that only I can breastfeed him and he doesn't miss it when I am not around.

Oh and DS is a total milk monster and won't go to sleep for me at all without breastfeeding, (or pushing him in his buggy) but when my mum babysits, sometimes he has milk in a bottle before bed, which he holds himself, so it's not like he wants the close cuddliness of breastfeeding. And sometimes no milk at all, but either way, he goes to sleep fine for her!

Echo what others say. I went back to work after DD when she was 9 months old and also with DS when he was 9 months old. Neither would drink milk from a bottle or a cup. I continued to feed DD till she was 20 months and only stopped when pregnant and my milk seemed to dry up. Still feeding DS at 18 months...

I started work 3 days a week when DD 7 months old, soon found expressing at work not producing enough. Tried Aptamil in bottle she liked that but then stopped as discovered it contains taurine (like Red Bull). Now 11 months she goes all day from 6-7am until 5.30pm with no breastmilk if necessary. DH offers water or warm chamomile tea from cup instead and feeds yoghurt/cheese/cows milk in food. Out of sight, out of mind as when I am at home DD becomes a titty monster again! She seems to make up for it at night unfortunately by feeding every 2-3 hours especially when teething, I am a wreck most mornings!. Am hoping that I can wean fully to cows milk in cup by September as don't think I could cope full time working with sleep deprivation. Good for you for wanting to carry on breastfeeding, I would love to keep going but will be no good to anyone if still feeding every 2 hours. As Tryharder said try a milky porridge type dinner or pudding after dinner but if you cannot get home for bedtime feed you could try expressing and use bm so you know he is getting goodness from you even though you are away. Down the line once association with breast during day is gone he may happily accept milk from a cup or even a glass (DD likes to drink from glass with help as she sees us doing it) and this may mean he will need less at night. Here's hoping ...

Thanks for all your replies, sorry I haven't been back on to read them sooner.

I've got really mixed feelings about all this - I know he will be fine without milk in the day, but the thought of him making up for it in the nights when I'm working full time...well, I'm knackered enough as it is without work as well. I never saw myself as an 'extended' breastfeeder (I know I'm not, yet) but it seems to be happening through his choice more than mine.