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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

New to BF?ing - questions re dummies and weigh ins

28 replies

passionberry · 27/05/2010 14:55

Hello, i'm five weeks in now and it's slooowly getting easier!

Two questions, any advice gratefully received!:

I'm happy to BF on demand when she crys but sometimes it's not really practical - ie when i'm in the street with the pram and when she's in the car-seat. As she's 5 weeks now I'm thinking of giving her a dummy - will I be able to save it for emergencies (when she's really howling in the car for example) or will she soon expect it all the time? I don't like to think of her asleep with a dummy hiding her sweet little mouth!

Also, I missed the HV today . She can't fit me in now for another fortnight and this means DD won't have been weighed for 4 weeks. At her last weigh she had regained her birth weight and a bit more. Should I go to baby clinic next week (not v convenient) or can I wait for HV visit in two weeks? DD has chubby cheeks, lots of nappies, alert etc. She is still in newborn sized clothes though.

Sorry about the v long questions!!

OP posts:
jemjabella · 27/05/2010 15:51

Can't answer your first question, because we didn't use dummies but re: HV... after baby has regained birth weight there's no need to weigh more than once a month anyway. It's fine.

Original poster
passionberry · 27/05/2010 16:14

Brill, thanks. I will wait for next HV visit then.

Are dummies a controversial issue on here? I've never really thought about them before other than they don't look that nice. My MIL doesn't approve of them! I just hate to hear her crying when I can't feed her straight away . . .

OP posts:
HotSprocket · 27/05/2010 16:23

I have a 5wk old as well. She has had a dummy since wk 2 as she is a very sucky baby needed it to sleep. She hasn't become dependent on it at all (prob use it once a day) and spits it out when she is just about to go to sleep, some days she won't even take it in her mouth at all. We have been using tommee tippee ones and they are completly clear so dont look bad if thats what bothers you.
My dd is still getting weighed every 2 weeks as she is still only 7lb 12oz. If your getting plenty of nappies i would think you can wait the 2 weeks. HV would have told you to come in if she was concerned.

HotSprocket · 27/05/2010 16:26

Oh sorry, just to add i don't think the dummy would stop her crying if she is hungry. They soon suss out that its not giving them milk and spit it out.

thisisyesterday · 27/05/2010 16:26

if you want to use a dummy then do. I used one with my first 2 and had no problems. they did both go through a phase of wanting them a lot of the time, but to be honest I don't have too much of a problem with that- they wanted comfort, and the dummy provided it.

wouldn't worry abpout the weigh-in either. she'll be fine

Original poster
passionberry · 27/05/2010 16:39

Thanks both of you - sorry, should have made clear, if she is actually hungry then I feed her but I think it's often the need for comfort when we're out and about as she will happily suck my finger to stop crying(not hygenic or practical though!)

OP posts:
Morloth · 27/05/2010 17:19

I didn't do dummies and offer the breast whenever DS cries, but we don't have a car and I can breastfeed while walking (very handy skill!) even comfort sucking helps your supply. It annoys me when people say they are "using you as a dummy" when in fact he would be using the dummy as a breast replacement not the other way round.

I haven't seen the HV since 3 weeks (DS is 9 weeks), no idea how much he weighs. He looks big and good, so not worried.

BertieBotts · 27/05/2010 17:59

My DS used to suck my finger for comfort, and didn't want to feed. So I ended up giving a dummy as as you say it's not practical - never worried about the hygeine aspect though TBH.

I used to feed DS before I put him into the car or buggy, kind of pre emptively if you like. Crying is one of the later signs of hunger. I must admit though it's a long time ago now (DS 20 months!! Where did the time go?!) so I might not be remembering very well!

SirBoobAlot · 27/05/2010 18:14

Can you feed before you get in the car / check for the signs of hunger before she starts to cry when out in the buggy? Check out this if you're not familiar with the signs

I use a dummy with DS - its been especialy helpful whilst he's been teething as he has it instead of a teething ring. But he knows when its a dummy, and not a nipple, so you won't fool her that way

Original poster
passionberry · 27/05/2010 18:15

Yes I do the pre emptive feeding before going out but that didn't make any difference yesterday. It was an unusually busy day to be fair - usually I spend the afternoons BFing non-stop on the sofa (am doing right now).

Morloth - I have stuggled to feed sitting down let alone while walking. I have no problems feeding in public - have done on benches, in a pub, at dinner party etc so far. But yesterday was on high street in the rain, baby screaming in pram - just felt stressed and thought dummy would be a solution. Bought them from boots but they are still in kitchen drawer. Am undecided.

OP posts:
SirBoobAlot · 27/05/2010 18:30

She might not even take it, tbh. DS didn't take one until about 12 weeks (ish).

Wigeon · 27/05/2010 18:39

I BF on demand, and to be honest it never occured to me that a dummy was the answer to a crying baby which I couldn't feed. Firstly, not all cries mean the baby is hungry of course. Your DD might want a cuddle / burp / something else to look at / a change of scene / to be put down / to be picked up etc etc, and a dummy won't solve almost all of those things. Secondly, I agree with others that if your DD really is hungry, they probably won't be satisfied with a dummy!

Thirdly, as SirBoobAlot says, you can sometimes feed before you are about to go on a journey. If you are on a short journey (eg pushing the pram round town) and have fed before you go out, the baby can certainly wait a short time until you are somewhere where you can feed her, if you think the cry means hunger. On a longer car journey you just have to schedule motorway service station stops!

I think the answer is to accept that your DD will sometimes cry and you won't be able to do something about it, that not all cries mean the baby is hungry, and that BF on demand doens't actually mean dropping everything, whatever the circumstances (eg you are driving!) and immediately breast-feeding.

On the weighing - if you are happy with how your baby is growing and behaving, then I wouldn't beat yourself up about the exact timing of weigh-ins!

Morloth · 27/05/2010 19:03

I practised by walking around the house passionberry, did sometimes startle the postman though when I answered the door without re-adjusting...

holytoast · 27/05/2010 19:17

We have found a dummy useful at times, DD is six weeks old and has terrible wind, which she seems to soothe by sucking - her hand, my shoulder, a dummy - do whatever you find useful - she certainly isn't overly attached to it, sometimes wont have it, sometimes its good to help her just drop off to sleep, or to help us work out if she is really hungry, or just 'sucky' cause if she really is hungry, she soon lets us know if we try and fob her off with the dummmy!
Good luck with your DD - it is hard, there are so many things I never even thought would be an issue, but you find yourself debating over the tiniest details!

mylittlemonkey · 27/05/2010 20:50

I would try giving her a dummy and see if it helps. I gave my DS a dummy from 3 weekw for exactly the same reason as you and found it did really help when out and about and baby crying and just needed to be comforted. In fact was a god send on some occasions.

The only down side to using a dummy is that you then spend all your time putting the dummy back in when it falls out and i would not recommend using it at night time for this reason. Just use it when you need to out and about.

I bought the Tommy Tippee ones which have a carry case and just used to steralise them regularly. Dummy clips are also good to prevent them falling on floor.

My Ds is now 12 weeks and is no longer interested in his dummy and has moved on to sucking his fist.

My MW disagreed with a dummy but the way i see it is if the dummy soothes your baby by providing some comfort this can only be a positive thing.

Also, once she falls asleep the dummy will fall out if not well before!

fiveweeksandcounting · 27/05/2010 20:54

Dummies are a lifesaver. My DS is 8 weeks and has had one since 2 weeks and has had no nipple confusion and it certainly buys time if he starts crying when I simply can't feed him althoughj I do premptive feed too. I'd also far prefer to use a dummy than risk another thumb sucker, I can't get my 4 year old off her thumb and it's causing all sorts of problems with her teeth and jaw.

Pozzled · 27/05/2010 21:00

We gave DD a dummy, because she was so soothed by sucking our fingers even when she didn't want a feed. Also the SIDS research suggests that using a dummy to settle to sleep is a good thing.

It worked really well for us, never really caused problems. She did sometimes want it when out and about but she mostly used it when she was tired. We didn't ever have the thing where we had to replace it at night. When she woke at night I automatically assumed it was for a feed, not for the dummy which I think helped her not to become too reliant on it. And she gave it up on her own at about 8 months, so never had a problem weaning her from it.

As for the HV, it's fine to go for a while between weigh-ins. Just go to see them if you are concerned about something.

logrrl · 27/05/2010 21:02

I've never used a dummy so can't really comment. I do agree that sometimes baby will cry without you necessarily having to put something in their mouth immediately (if you have no other option), and that you can pre-empt it by feeding just before going out etc.

Wait for the weigh-in. IF you HV is not concerned then you shouldn't be!

jemjabella · 27/05/2010 21:05

I don't know if dummies are controversial on here, not actually been on mumsnet that long, but like Morloth I have always offered the breast when my daughter has indicated wanting it. My view is that if I, as her mother, can't comfort her (whether that means having to do it in the middle of the street, on public transport or whatever) then I'm not trying hard enough.

However, and this is a big however, I don't have any other children to look after and I'm content to sit on my arse while she nurses because it means I can surf the 'net. I recognise dummies defo. have a place for some.

Iggisfulloftayto · 27/05/2010 21:14

You're not trying hard enough if you resort to a dummy? Hope I'm misunderstanding you jemjabella

sungirltan · 27/05/2010 21:17

hey op - if you dont really want to use a dummy just don't. i was determined not to with dd (now nearly 8 months) - she started to suck her thumb at maybe 8 weeks - then there is no need for a dummy and you cant lose it/soil it/forget it :-)

she will fall into a routine in a few weeks anyway and you will learn how to time shopping/whatever between feeds but i agree with other posters - imo you need to offer the breast if she roots (repeatedly pokes her tongue out) or cries.

and dont worry - newborns are super inconvinient but most of them are much much easier by around 3 months.

and well done with the bf - i dont care what anyone says - its hard work!

SirBoobAlot · 27/05/2010 21:32

"My view is that if I, as her mother, can't comfort her (whether that means having to do it in the middle of the street, on public transport or whatever) then I'm not trying hard enough."

You are kidding, right? I do hope I haven't read that correctly...

sungirltan · 27/05/2010 21:44

eeeps. walks away from thread - in no state to judge today

Original poster
passionberry · 28/05/2010 09:52

Thanks for all your opinions.

sungirltan - thanks for saying well done, I think I am having a week where I feel like no one around me gets how hard this is! I want to do my best for my baby and feed her whenever she is hungry - when we are at home she rarely has to cry, I can see when she's rooting. But I obviously haven't got the hang of making sure that she's full before we go out and I appreciate that this will get easier.

I can see that I need to be more open to offering breast whenever and where ever.

She settles herself to sleep at night and is generally a contented baby.

Think I will keep the dummies in the changing bag but see how I go without them for now.

OP posts:
sungirltan · 28/05/2010 10:07

whoah!! stop beating youself up! i can remeber all too well a few short months back thinking 'oh god...where am i going wrong and how will i ever get anything done?' and feeling frustrated and then guilty for being frustrated...and so on and so on he he

just remember your baby is learning too and together you will get there

also i remember at 6 weeks feeling exhausted at the prospects of bf for another 10.5 monthsw - it just seemed so impossible. well we're nearly 8 months in now :-)