Why has it all gone wrong today?

[kittycat37]

I would be really grateful for any advice.

Have been BF my 6 wk old although very early on she was having a tiny amount of formula (2oz in 24 hrs) once a night as I had very badly bleeding cracked nipples and was trying to get them to heal.

We stayed more or less in that pattern until last night. Sometimes she would have a bit more formula in a 24hr period and sometimes none. I was hoping to keep it like that and not increase the formula and aim to phase it out when possible.

But yesterday/last night it all went wrong. I have always tried to pre-empt her crying by feeding on demand but yesterday I got stuck whilst out and couldn't find a place to feed her until she was really in a state, crying a lot. It was very stressful and then she didn't settle very well to feed. Then at every feed after that she was very unsettled and would only feed for a minute before coming off, clawing at the breast and crying. It got worse and worse until in the evening she seemed hysterical and very very hungry. Eventually I gave her some formula and she drank it straight away like she was starving. The same thing happened at the next two feeds.

Then today she's been refusing the breast all day and getting increasingly hysterical. Just now she seemed so frantically hungry that I have again given in and given her some formula which she guzzled and is now calm.

I just can't understand why she's refusing the breast - there is milk there and before she seemed to really like BF.

I feel very down about this - it happened with DD1 and I only BF for 10wks in the end. My DH can't understand why I'm upset and thinks I'm being precious and doesn't really understand what the big deal is.

Sorry for long post - basically can anyone tell me why a 6wk old might refuse the breast? How to persuade them back? TIA

kittycat - how upsetting for you.

There are a number of reasons why something like this might happen

• ear infection
• upsetting experience at the breast which she doesn't understand and which makes her associate the breast with distress
• teething

I think the middle one may well be worth exploring, and the good news is it is normally easily overcome with patience and care. Here are things to try:

• stop fighting her to bf - just accept that she needs a bit of time to forget
• instead, keep her skin to skin and snuggled in, even if you give formula, do it this way
• go somewhere dark and quiet and just enjoy being together, with some calm stroking, singing
• try a bath together with her lying downwards on your chest and see if she will latch on spontaneously with no pressure.

A call to any of the bf helplines will give you a chance to talk through these ideas.

Hope this helps.

bf is not scuppered for you on the back of 2 days of ff, so don't panic

try lots of skin to skin

try to feed her when she first shows hunger cues - do you know what to look for?

stay calm yourself, try not to get too upset, not because it will affect bf but because it makes you feel crappy

you could try her with biological nurturing i found it helpful when my ds was first learning to latch on, if i tried traditional ways of holding him he would get frantic

we were able to move to cross cradle holds/rugby hold in time once he got the hang of latching

remember if we have milk we have time

Thanks a lot Tiktok - that makes sense because yesterday was so stressful and up until now all the feeds have really been great as i was at home and relaxed most of the time. I will try your suggestions.

Thanks chibi - yes I think I know the nger cues - also I read the biological nrturing thing and it makes sense. I will try that.

I had a nursing strike two weeks ago after LO has EBM bottles for 12 hours while I was away for the day. Previously she had 1/2 a day no problem.
I personally coutnered with a bottle strike, giving nothing but the brest. It was stressful, but worked. I had to get her calm to attempt. Most of the time she cried as soon as I put her in the feeding position. Sometimes she'd cry through her feed and end up asleep 90 mins later. Luckily for me when she was dosy or asleep she would feed fine so when she first began to stir I got in there and she fed. Her dreamfeeds at night remained unaffected. 3days later and we were back to normal though sometimes particulary near the end of the day she reverts a little bit. I also hand expressed into her mouth to get her to taste the milk (now that is all that's required if she does get antsy) and she's back on an EBM bottle in the mornings. It was hard not to give her a bottle but once I was confident it was a nursing strike I stuck to my guns
hth

forgot to add she's was 8weeks so similar age. Also you might be at a growth spurt which won't help your stress levels either. Good luck

Thanks for all the advice - we seem to be back on track now which is a huge relief. I followed lots of the tips from you all. Still mix feeding but vast majority is BF. I so want to make it to 6mths this time, each day seems like a little triumph.....