How to stop breastfeeding at 1yr???

[bellamysbride]

Here's the history...DS is now 11months old. He breastfeeds 3 times a day-first thing, pre morning nap and last thing at night. His eating is erratic, some days he will eat three good meals and a snack, other days very little. He quite likes water and will drink a beaker full throughout the day, but he is really not mad about cows milk.

Anyway, I am really ready to stop breastfeeding over the next month or two, but I just don't see how it can happen with his current eating habits and refusal of cows milk. Is there anybody out there who has been there/done that and can offer me some tips hope?

It sounds like classic baby led feeding, which is the best, well done! Even at this stage he will be getting most of what he needs from your milk, my dd was like this and I didn't mind I wasn't in a hurry to wean, but when we did it went very slowly, over a period of 3 and a half months because I had been feeding for so long and she had such little interest in other food.

I would give yourself as long as you can, but I know how it can be, I have had to wean ds earlier than I wished, 10 months, I'm doing it now. After a couple of days he refused his beaker so I put the milk into his dinner, breakfast, got it into him that way, and I'm keeping track of the amount a baby his size is supposed to have each day.

Maybe try a follow on milk if they are right for his age.

My DD dropped (with a little encouragement) all feeds but the first am and last pm ones by 11mo. She dropped the am one at 12mo and we will be getting rid of the last one v soon. She drinks water from a cup but won't drink cows' milk so she has yoghurt and cheese every day. I would encourage your DS to drop the pre-nap feed and just let him eat what he wants, some days he will eat more and some less but don't worry about the less days, they get balanced out.

Thankyou. I don't think he would accept follow on milk as we had the whole battle of bottle at six months (I lost) . debka your plan sounds like the one for us. How much water does your DD drink? I am more worried about hydration than nutrition. Do you offer any drink other than water on waking and are you planning on offering an alternative to the breast at bedtime? Sorry questions, questions, questions!

I understand your wanting to stop. I have just stopped feeding my just-turned-one yo DD. But she likes cow's, so it is probably easier.

I gradually cut the feeds out, replaced some with cow's and just keep a mental tally of the calcium intake over the course of a day, as she is cup fed and doesn't really take a 'bedtime' feed, just cow's with her evening meal.

I rock her to sleep, which is what I did with my son (he stopped by himself at one), and if she wakes in the night (which she does!) we rock or let her in with us for a bit.

Do let me know how you get on

Don't think that cow's milk is anywhere as nutritious as breast-milk or formula, so I would probably opt for formula if I were giving milk. Also I think it might be hard on their tummies. I think that yogurt and cheese are not, so these seem like the way to go.

Again, I disagree. Cow's is fine from a year. Formula only recommended for babies with a poor diet. Formula is marketed to appeal to paranoid mothers, as they plug the nutrients, when it is not necessary

I offer DD water throughout the day- at mealtimes of course and whenever we have a cup of tea (which is often!). She only has water although sometimes I put a splash of fruit juice in if I think she hasn't drunk enough. She has water and a handful of raisins on waking. Tonight was first night of no BFing- momentous night! She had a cuddle with Daddy as usual then one with me then into bed. No drink, but she wasn't really taking anything before. You'll manage it, just take it slowly I think.

Maybe breaking the routine would help - bit like a smoker who always has a fag with a coffee? So, someone apart from you puts him down at night or lifts him in morning, perhaps.

If you are about, why not feed into the second year? If you are going back to work, it's more of an issue, but am sure if you have other childcare in place, your LO will adapt and take beakers of water / solids in lieu of the feeds he has to drop. (It might take a few days, and you might find he wakes at night to make it up.) But if you are carrying on being the main carer for your DS, and you are happy to continue breastfeeding, there are advantages to continuing into the second year (emotional intimacy, improved immunity, convenience).

If you've had enough though, maybe try dropping the nighttime feed first - you may be producing less milk at that time of day anyway (so will be less engorged), and if you can bring forward his afternoon nap by 30-60mns you might find that he is sufficiently tired at bedtime to go down without your feed. If you have a partner who is happy to offer a beaker of water / cow's milk (from 12mths), you could try that route too.

Good point, it's not all or nothing (unless you want it to be). At one year my DS dropped to 2 feeds, then just the bedtime one from around 16 months, then when he turned two he just started ignoring it and stopped on his own.

Thanks everyone. As I said, I really, really don't want to carry on feeding. It would be really counteractive as I would only be doing it out of guilt and I'm not sure those feelings would be beneficial for DS.

I dropped the midmorning feed yesterday, which he didn't seem to have a problem with. Typically it was the hottest day of year, when my main worry is hydration . He did well with water though, had a snack and ate loads of lunch. Strangely I am fullest in the evenings (I guess because I haven't fed at night for a while so my supply is used to that?)

Anyway, thank you again for all your words of wisdom. I spoke to my Grandma about it too (she breastfed 3 to a year) and she was very reassuring.

debka I hope your night went wel and you don't feel too sad.

Not sad at all, thanks bellamysbride, I am jubilant!! (ps I keep imagining you married to David Bellamy!!)

Ps someone said to me in a thread that BFing is a 2-way thing, and when either party has had enough, it might be time to call it a day. So don't feel guilty!

I have to say that even dropping the midmorning feed has left me feeling slightly exhilarated at the possibility of going out for the WHOLE day. So when I finally stop BFing completely you may see me in our back garden burning nursing bras with wild abandon!

I think I would rather enjoy being married to the bearded one .

When my son stopped (by himself) I was initially devastated, then, quite literally, euphoric.

Daughter not fed for nearly a fortnight, but the high yet to hit in, as she still wakes. Thin the euphoria linked to sleep!

My DD is 11 1/2 months, still bf

morning before I leave for work
eve when I return from work
at bedtime
before I go to bed

and then anything up to three times a night (especially if teething) and I think to make up for 'titty' as she calls it being gone in the day (soooo tired).

She has started to take cows milk warmed in bottle in the day (tried soft spout sippy cup first, but refused altogether as no comfort) instead of EBM as found expressing at work didn't provide enough after she was 8 1/2 months and wanted to bring her off the one bottle of Aptamil as I discovered it had taurine in it. Cows milk unsuccessful at first so added small bit of water to make it less creamy and more watery like BM. That worked and she now takes all cows milk bottle.

Up until that happened I just got DH to feed her lots of dairy during the day cheese, yoghurt, milky rice pud etc... (3 meals and 2 snacks) and give her warm chamomile tea (good for teething) in cup/bottle if really needing comfort whilst I was at work.

Like you want to wean fully as go full time at end of summer and couldn't do the nightshift and work all day.

Hey AllSheep. You must be cream crackered. DS is not fed at night anymore so at least I don't have that to contend with. He would probably feed when he wakes at night but I just no longer offer breast only water.

We are on 2 feeds (morning and night) now and he has adapted really well. I keep trying him with cowsmilk but he much prefers water. I spoke to my HV last week (told her I wanted to stop completely at a year but he didn't like cowsmilk or formula). She wasn't concerned at all, she just backed up the advice to give it in food and offer water. So I am now much more laid back about it.

Let me know how you go. I am mucho impressed that your DD is able to say 'titty', my DS can just about manage 'mooo' but it applies to all animals!