Breastfeeding in hospital. Help - 1st time mum to be!

[JBroRo]

Hello ladies

I haven't posted in this section before so I'm sure threads like this one already exist but I'm hoping for a bit of straight-forward advice from more experienced mums.

Im currently 34 weeks and starting to get all the last bits and pieces organised - washing clothes, packing my hopsital bag etc.

Im a very organised person who likes to be in control. Now before anyone shouts me down I fully accept that being a 1st time mum to a newborn there will be lots of situations where I will feel out of control!

Anyway, the one thing that is worrying (scaring?!) me at the moment is coping with the baby alone in hospital once DH has gone home and with potentially unhelpful midwives (should that be the circumstance I find myself in).

I just want some tips really for coping alone for a night in hospital with my newborn. More specifically, how do you start breast-feeding? I know this might sound like a really dim and basic question but I have no idea! I know that I want to start getting in to routines once Im home but during that first night if the baby is awake and crying do I literally put it to my breast every time??

Sorry for the long post. Hope it makes sense - I just want to be equipped with as many coping strategies as possible!

Thanks x

Get the baby to latch on as soon as possible after birth - lots of skin to skin will help and a calm atmosphere

with both of mine i have put them to the breast immediately and it is amazing watching them suck from being minutes old

If you are having trouble then ask for plenty of help - as much as you need

I can virtually guarantee that your baby will be awake and crying on the first night (and probably many more afterwards)

YEs - in the early days you put the baby to the breast a lot

And FWIW, your baby may not fit into a neat schedule/routine especially if you do breastfeed - this is normal and usual so don't think you are doing anything "wrong"

The chances are the midwives will be helpful, it's unlikely you will feel abandoned. You won't find anything easier because your husband is there. You offer a breast every time a newborn cries.

Really, it isn't scary. You will sit and look at your sleeping baby and realise you know what to do, but you're not sure how you know.

Hi. I wouldn't worry about asking any silly questions, there were lots of things that hadn't even crossed my mind. If you want to BF then chances are the MW will put your baby straight to your breast soon after the birth. From my own experience my DD was very sleepy and didn't feed much in the first 24 hours, When she cried she was easily pacified through being picked up and cuddled. BF is about technique and most surprising to me was that my baby had to learn how to feed just as I had to learn to feed her, so you might want to be prepared for your boobs to be handled by the MW while she helps you - don't be put off though, you won't care and it is completely worth it. Good luck with everything.x

JBroRo: it might help to share your concerns with a midwife at your next antenatal appt. They may have a breastfeeding policy they can show you, and let you see the sort of support you can expect.

You dont wait for a newborn to cry before feeding - though sometimes you can't manage to avoid it. Crying is a late sign of needing to feed, and good hospital support will include spotting the earlier cues and how to respond to them.

Babies need to be close to their mothers, with the breast freely available

In my local hospital the midwives, and breastfeeding supporters etc gave me loads of help with breastfeeding. I was in for 6 days and at least once a day someone would help me with it. So I hope you're given this help too.

However, DS's first night, we both slept for 14 hours, we were so knackered after a long labour! I often wonder if this had any impact on breastfeeding him, as he got jaundice and then lost loads of weight when I didn't produce enough milk.

I think the best thing to do if your baby is crying is to put him to the breast. Even if he doesn't want milk, the skin-to-skin contact will be comforting for him.

I hope it all goes well for you.

I know exactly how you feel, my 1st time in hospital with dd I didn't cope that well, or maybe I did considering how tough things went for us, but I hated it in there, especially the heat.

With bfeeding you will need the mws help to get the latch, this goes on for a few days until you and baby have got the hang of it. It is a bit of a pain because after the birth, (for me) I was sick of being pawed at, but only one mw was uncomfortable about this part of her job, the others were all nice. And they won't let you get home til they know you're doing it right. So I really worked at it!

I had dh come in early in the morning and he stayed until 10 at night, it was a tough time.

2nd time I was only in the hospital 1 night cause I had an accidental home birth but all went great and I was much happier.

Remember you really only hear the horror stories, mostly things go just fine and nobody talks about it because that is totally normal.

Get bubs on the boob as soon as you can after birth, my DS's were feeding before their cords were cut. There is nothing like that feeling when you have your new little baby on your chest all warm and "slimy"*.

Basically if the baby is awake at all offer the boob for the first couple of days, if they want it they will take it, if they don't they won't.

Also they absolutely can be hungry again 10 minutes after feeding. With DS1 I used to try to figure out what was wrong. With DS2 if he is unhappy then 99% of the time he wants the boob.

I found the first night that my DS's just slept the whole night long while I lay there wide awake and feeling slightly surplus to reqirements! At least I knew the second time to take a book.

*I was trying to think of a nicer word but there isn't one!

From my experience the midwives will ask if you intend to bf and will help you from the beginning. With DS2 I was very aware that the midwife made me get into bed and refused to let anybody but DH in the room with me for an hour (my parents were downstairs as I had an unexpected home birth) whilst I got him to latch on, had some skin to skin bonding and a quiet time.

I think the same thing happened with DS1 but it was in hospital and I needed stitchs and frankly it was all a bit like a dream. However, I do remember them leaving the 3 of us (me, DS1 and DH) alone for quite a while to bond after getting DS to latch on - they will show you how but you will have to practice and it isn't something your DH can help with.

Ask for help if you need it. I did repeatedly in hospital and everybody was happy to help to varying degrees, by which I mean I found what they said varied in helpfulness not their willingness to help.

I don't remember many of the babies screaming and crying all night so either we weren't left alone to cope or the babies were are pretty dazed by the whole experience too. The only one that did cry was a baby who had a ventuouse and had a headache. DS2 didn't cry all night either. He only woke twice. Not that I slept much though!

However, don't let your DC sleep more than 4 hours. I did and DS1 ended up with jaundice. They need to feed regularly when tiny. Not necessarily loads but very (very) often!

I agree the MW will be helpful. Don't be put off by the bad experiences you read about on here. For every MNer that feels the need vent about a terrible MW there are dozens who don't bother to say anything because they got on just fine.

I didnt have MN when DD was born many many moons ago and I had the same worries. Sometimes I think the modern age gives us more opportunity to worry.

In the end it all seemed so perfectly straightforward. As soon as she cried I let her suck.

It was a learning process for both of us.

It still is, and she's a teenager now.

Best of luck and enjoy !

If you need help, ask for help, every time. I was told I wouldn't be discharged until they'd seen me latch DS on by myself and feed him - it was annoying at the time as he slept loads and I wanted to go home but I can see the logic.
Also wanted to re-iterate what everyone else has said - snuggle up to your baby and feed whenever. TBH you'll probably be feeding unless the baby's asleep. Don't worry about how often you're feeding or timings in between feeds - that can all wait until he's 3 or 4

I took a book with me to the hospital, and DS's first night was lovely - I got to read and sleep - something I hadn't been able to do for about 48 hours because of the contractions. I know I was lucky but just pointing out it won't necessarily be how you imagine.

Don't worry if you don't manage to get your child to the breast within minutes. It's nice if you can, but you're not doomed if it takes a while. My daughter was 45 minutes old when I first took her to the breast, as it took that long to stitch me up after the CS. Midwives were very helpful and showed me how to do it.

A good read while you're waiting for baby in these last few weeks is 'The Baby Book' by Sears and Sears. Great section on breastfeeding including maximising your chances of a smooth labour and the effect of that on sucessful breastfeeding. It is likely, though not certain, that the midwives will be helpful. Do ask for help if you need it as it can be assumed that you are ok if you don't ask- especially when things are busy.

On ds I tried to attach when he was crying. But with dd I attached as soon as she was showing signs:

Putting her hand in her mouth

Turning her head toward me or opening her mouth.

Or just generaly fussing.

Dd much easier to attach. I think it is good to ask these questions makes you more prepared. Mw are more likely to be supportive than un supportive it is just that people don't feel the need to talk about good experiences. Good luck hopefully it will all go well.

You see this is one of the problems with mumsnet! Before I had my daughter, it never crossed my mind to think the midwives my not be helpful and in fect they were all willing to help in any way they could (though they could make it easy!) But spending so much time on mumsnet has made me have a subconscious feeling that the midwives might be bossy, unhelpful etc when I have my second later on this year. What I am trying to say JBroRo is try to relax. You probably wouldn't assume any other professionals in your life would be unhelpful (eg doctors, teachers etc) so please try not to be affected by comments on mumsnet about midwives because like in any other walk of life, they are ordinary people trying to do their job well. Of course most of us don't start a thread on mumsnet called AIBU to say my midwife was really good. Sorry this was meant to be jokey but has come across as a bit rude - didn't mean it to be. As for advice - put your little one straight to your breast if you can and feed as often as you can or need to early on as you will both get better with practice. Good luck - it is wonderful and please do not worry.

Hi JBroRo,

I agree with the others, mostly things go fine and MWs are generally helpful.

I fortunately had a strightforward birth and the MW had lined up DH to 'deliver' DD, as she was being born he caught her under the arms and lifted her up onto my chest. While the MW was clipping the cord for DH to cut, DD bopped over my chest to find my nipple and latched herself on at a minute old. It was amazing. I later found out this can be called biological nurturing.

One of my friends had a less straightforward birth resulting in an emergency CS and was in recovery for 4 hours before she could hold and feed her DD. We are both stll breast feeding 10 months on.

Don't be shy about asking for help.
Oh, and keep a water bottle handy, I was SO SO thirsty.

All the best.

The first night or so when you ring the buzzer they will come quickly to you, you'll probably need help switching baby from side to side, and as Jadziadax said you'll fly through the water especially with the heat.

Ooo I am so impressed JBroRo that you are even THINKING about this- after I had DD and DH left it suddenly dawned on me that I WOULDN'T get the lovely night's sleep I craved as I had accidentally become solely responsible for a very small, disproportionately noisy person!

It's great that you're already thinking about this!

I found that help in the hospital at night could be very hit and miss. There were some lovely midwives who encouraged me to co-sleep with newborn DD and helped me to latch her on.

Others told me she needed a dummy (at one day old ) to which I was pleased that I had sufficient knowledge to tell her that this wasn't recommended when I was establishing breastfeeding.

I suppose it's good to have as much breastfeeding knowledge as possible before you give birth, so that you're aware if you're being given inappropriate advice and can feel happy ignoring things.

Also, do you have the phone number of any friends who are breastfeeding at the moment, who might be able to give you advice over the phone in the evening if you feel you aren't getting the support you need on the postnatal ward?

You could try and go to a la leche league meeting or similar before the birth. We have had a few pregnant ladies and they get lots of lovely advice from many different people.

Thank you all so much for your comments - I'm overwhelmed by all the helpful and positive advice.

I'm going to read through them all again and try to digest it all - will probably have some more questions later!

Thanks again - it's appreciated x

JBroRo when I was in with my 1st and as I said, we were miserable, myself and my baby (she cried all the time, I wound up feeding hrs on end just to keep her quiet and I wore myself out) there was a woman there with her 3rd and she was so impressive, full of confidence, she even opened the window!! It can be hard if the birth has been difficult but just ride it out, basically take no crap from any mw, if your baby is howling so be it, that's what babies do sometimes.

With breastfeeding, it's mostly all in the latch which can be tricky as first but in a few days you'll both be experts.

Make sure you've got a very light cotton nightie because of the heat. A hand fan is good too. And arnica, and know where your arnica is so that's it's handy for you, mine was buried in my suitcase under my bed. I couldn't get anywhere near it.

Good luck

Do any of the local BF support groups do antenatal sessions? Worth checking this out and having some BF counsellor numbers in case things don't go well. That way you have help to hand.
I think it's fab you're already thinking about this and planning ahead. I really hope it all goes well for you

I just buzzed everytime she cried on the first night and everytime I attempted to feed afterwards (after failing to get her to latch first). I didn't change a single nappy for the first week, had either MW or DH do it. They always seemed happy to help and I was in 3 days. Be prepared to have a good day and for it to all go downhill again. Apply cream at the first sign of soreness, heck just apply it every time anyway. Be prepared for 10secs of eye watering pain as LO first latches on for three weeks. Get comfortable with being topless at home for the first few weeks. Don't worry if LO doesn't feed for the first day (you can always express into a syringe). When your milk comes in DH/DP to hold LO as you express a few drops first, just to soften your breasts up (I used a warm flannel). Get ready to do some nipple massaging to get them all nice and pert if LO bobs off and makes it too wet to re-latch. Get DH/DP to do everything except feed, including giving you a drink with a straw for you to take during feeding. In short, get ready for some hard work but also that nice warm glow you feel when they settle down to feed.

Have a head of white cabbage ready in the fridge at home. Put a leaf into each bra side, it really helps with the pain of engorgement.