Agonising over whether to stop breastfeeding

[ilmab]

Hi everyone,
I always find useful answers here but have never posted myself before. I need help about stopping bf a baby who is accustomed to being fed to sleep.

I still enjoy bf but considering stopping as we want to start ttc. Took a year to fall pregnant (caused by stress probably) so I feel like I should start trying in case it takes a long time. I still haven't had a period. I am also getting pressure from dh's family who keep asking me when I am stopping and seem to think extended bf is weird.

DD is almost 11 months and fed to sleep because she is adorable and I can't bear to let her cry. She is very attached to bf and if I try to settle her at night without offering the breast she becomes very upset. Am worried that when I stop bf I am going to have a really tough time with her, and I feel guilty about even thinking about cutting short this special time between us. Has anyone found a way for stopping bf without tears in this scenario?
Thanks!

you could try just cutting down rather than completely stopping. so maybe drop any night feeds, or try and distract her or offer a bottle during the day?

but there is no reason not to start TTC now if you want to

I would carry on bfing her until 12 months and then re think. You are enjoying it, she;s enjoying it, and it sounds like it could stress you out if you find it difficult stopping.

And like you said, stress can effect your fertility.

Oh and ignore everyone else's opinions - this is your decision.

If you didn't want to TTC, when wou;d you carry on bfing until?

We started ttc despite me bf'ing DS - I finally stopped when he was 23mo and it happened quite naturally over 3 nights. The first night he asked for it 3 times or so and then went to sleep, the following night he asked a couple of times, the next night just the once and then slept.

Prior to that, I had dropped all other feeds than the night one so it was quite easy at that stage.

Got pg the next month (didn't last long though but never mind) and still ttc now, 5m later.

You could try giving her a bottle of warm milk before bed if she really won't settle without a drink and you really want to stop - see if she'll take that instead. Just ordinary milk will do (so long as she's not intolerant).

My periods returned after 12 months with both of mine, just as the night feeds were reducing.

Have you thought about just carrying on for a couple of months to see if the same happens to you?

And bfing an 11 month old is not weird, its not extended either. I hate that term. Feeding a baby of 11 months is perfectly normal. If you were ff you would still use a bottle at that age, so why not bf?

And no sorry, I've never found a way to stop without the tears sorry.

Are you ovulating whilst you are bfing? If you are then I don't think you would need to wean to become pg. If you aren't yet back on your cycles (tour de france emoticon) then the things that would make most difference is night weaning (i.e. no feeding after baby has gone to bed esp. early hours of morning) or having a dirty weekend/night away. Both of those might help with the TTC too . Using an ovulation test kit for one month might put your mind at ease about TTC.

It took 5 cycles to get pg 1st time but I got pg with DD2 in 1 cycle when DD1 was 11 months (who was still having 4 feeds a night at 1 y/o) and once to get pg with DD3 when DD2 was 13m/o and she didn't night wean until 16m/o (I was tandem nursing DD1 & DD2 until I was 8m pg with DD3).

Good luck with TTC.