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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Not enjoying b/feeding

12 replies

5MoreMinutesPlease · 11/05/2010 17:19

is it just me? i had to fight so hard, i was advised not to bf by my doctor becuase of tablets i was on, i came off them, baby comes early and is in nicu, i go mad expressing until i bleed, now i'm at home, he's got a good latch, he's gaining weight and it's uncomfortable but not painful, but i dread his feeds. i know this is awful of me, he needs to gain weight, but its constant and i feel like i've been hit by a bus. i feel so drained i don't enjoy it at all and dh isn't supportive, he keeps saying we should go onto formula. he's one month old and gaining weight well, i should be happy, i'd looked forward to b/feeding so much but i don't feel like i thought i would, i feel tired and if i'm really honest a little resentful. that's awful isn't it? sometimes i look at him and just think he's trying to eat me alive. he's more on then off, he gained a pound in four days last week! want to join a b/feeding group but hv said i shouldn't be taking him out just yet so just feel drained and cut off and wish i could pull myself together and just get on with it.
does it get easier as they get bigger?

OP posts:
NiickClegg · 11/05/2010 17:22

he is still tiny, yes it does get easier
You have done REALLY well, you've fed through loads of difficulties
Unless there's something specific to him having been in NICU that I don't know then fine, but afaik you can take him out, and in fact it would be a good thing
Has your HV or MW checked for PND as you sound a bit down?
Formula might help or it might not - you might end up still feeling tied but having to make up feeds in the middle of the night.

thisisyesterday · 11/05/2010 17:24

yes, it does get easier as they get bigger.

re the formula: imagine doing all you're doing now. only on top of that you have to wash and sterilise bottles, spend out on formula... etc etc! FF is not necessarily the easy choice

breastfeeding is intense and hard work in the early days. but that short term pain leads to a real long term gain IMO. it's SO much easier when they are older. you never have to worry about being out too long and not having enough bottles prepared, it's cheaper and easier, it calms them down and fixes all manner of ailments.

you CAN go out as well and breastfeeding groups are generaly pretty lovely places i've found. it's nice to be able to talk to people who have been there done that

MissusRabbit · 11/05/2010 17:31

You sound shattered! Yes it does get so much easier. It does feel as if thats ll you do at the beginning but things should soon get better, you may just have a hungary baby who likes nursing with mummy.

I have some days when i feel like DS has never left my side...with my first 2 it drove me mad, knowing this is my last baby i know enjoy it.

I have found BF much easier than FF too....bu each to their own. Perhaps see if you can mix feed, so you can have a bit of time out from baby.

No idea why HV says you can't go out i think this would do you and baby the world of good. Then you may not feel like you are feeding too. Days i stay in all day tend to be the hardest. Fresh air and a bit of company does wonders for the mind too if find.

Hope you feel better soon x

NiickClegg · 11/05/2010 17:33

could there be a reason relating to the baby's health why they shouldn't go out?

MissusRabbit · 11/05/2010 17:34

Sleep deprived typing - sorry for errors!!!

Original poster
5MoreMinutesPlease · 11/05/2010 22:43

ds is fine now, he was in nicu becuase he was 6weeks early, hospital said not to go out for a few weeks and we've been home for 3 now. so asked the hv and she said i should wait until a few weeks after his due date so that's two months! feel a little stir crazy as well as sleep deprived. i'll ask her again, the group would probably help and would be nice to talk to a grown up!

OP posts:
FlipFantasia · 12/05/2010 10:26

Firstly big congrats on getting to 4 weeks! You've done brilliantly, and your son is getting the very best nourishment he can when he's still at such a fragile age . Well done!

I wanted to add that it does get easier. I was v much looking forward to bfing and was shocked by how much I struggled - nipple pain, cracked nipples, thrush, feeling like my DS only wanted me for feeds and nothing else etc. At 4 weeks I was taking it a day at a time and wondered how long I could cope with it...but the birth had been so stressful/traumatic that I really wanted DS (and myself) to have all the benefits of BFing. People did tell me it gets easier as they grow but I just couldn't see it so didn't believe it. But I'm glad to say that DS is now 8 weeks old and feeding is a lot easier, at times properly enjoyable. And night feeds are a doddle now that we've learnt how to BF lying down. Feeding out and about is also easy, as there's no faffing with getting anything ready before we set off.

I really recommend a BFing suport group - they were a lifeline for me. This is just my opinion but your HV sounds v cautious about when you can head out and about. At a group I attended there was a woman with a son born at 35 weeks and she started bringing him at 2 weeks old. For her it was important to get the support she needed to keep up the BFing and it was lovely to see them each week, and watch him grow . She never mentioned any restrictions on when she could take him out. Perhaps you could talk to another HV or your GP? For me, the prospect of being confined to the house, pinned to the sofa feeding, would get me down. BFing out and about is so easy, and makes the long sessions on the sofa a lot easier to bear!

Original poster
5MoreMinutesPlease · 12/05/2010 12:29

thanks, i think i'll join my local group, it's only round the corner. will be nice to chat and get a few pointers. feel better today hearing that it does get easier and it's good to know i'm not the only one who's had thoughts like he only wants me for feeding! thought that was just me!

OP posts:
LaDiDaDi · 12/05/2010 12:32

It will get easier and well done for getting this far. I never managed to get bf fully established with dd who was prem. Ignore your HV re getting out, I had dd out loads before her due date . You will go mad if you don't get out of the house but equally don't push yourself, do what you feel comfy with.

StealthPolarBear · 12/05/2010 12:42

you sound a bit more positive Hope the group is good

FlipFantasia · 12/05/2010 12:44

5moreminutes I used to think DS was like a vampire, but for my milk! Now i'm quite proud that all his growth is done to me and my milk alone . And that shift in attitude had a lot to do with the support of the BFing support group.

jemjabella · 12/05/2010 13:07

It was a while before I began to appreciate breastfeeding, but at 6 months in, it has definitely been one of my best decisions.

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