cold turkey on breast feeding and baby v upset - advice

[JPK123]

Hi

My DD nearly 6 months was in hospital last week with dehydration due to oesophagitis due to reflux and cows milk intolerances and suspected other allergies. I was advised to stop bf and switch to bottle (neocate)so they could monitor how much she was getting and exclude all allergens. She eventually took it (having previously refused bottle at home) and we are home but now she is feeling better she is obviously really missing BF.

She constantly latches onto any piece of skin, tries to get to my breasts, and gets upset when she doesnt get it. Feeding and sleeping had been such a nightmare with reflux that I had got into really bad habits and often fed her to sleep and also let her suckle as a comfort. She hates the bottle and only takes it because she is hungry.

My husband works really long hours so cant give her her bottle.

I just wondered how other people had got through this stage or if there are any tips for making it easier till she hopefully forgets about BF??

She has never wanted a dummy. We are trying to introduce a comforter. I am giving her as many cuddles as poss., but not skin to skin as dont want to confuse her.

Although I am overjoyed that we have hopefully got to the bottom of weeks of feeding nightmares, am finding giving up BF really hard as I want to comfort her in a way she understands.

Any advice??

Thanks!

I am not a professional (hopefully one will be along soon) but would personally query the stopping breast feeding advice. How many opinions did you get? Paediatricians don't get much training on breastfeeding.

Whether it is good advice or not, a breastfeeding helpline will be able to help you.

if the hospital have finished their tests can you not restart?

JPK - bit puzzled by this.

Why would you not just breastfeed her now??

Have they told you not to? Why? I also don't understand why they told you to stop in the first place - their explanation does not make sense. If they want to control for allergens, fixing your diet would be worth a try.

hi thanks for replies - i had previously excluded dairy from diet with some effect but not all, and she was in a bit of a state on point of needing tube feeding when we were in hospital - so they said stopping bf would help her the fastest as could exclude all allergens (with neocate) and give her oesophagus a chance to heal whereas if i continued bf i would need to either eat a very limited diet eg lamb and rice or try cutting out things one by one.

As I was thinking of stopping BF anyway as going back to work in a month I decided to stop - so its my fault really as I think they would have supported me if i had been adamant. I didnt have a very good supply and BF had been really hard work with the reflux so she was refusing all feeds when I took her in.

Am trying not to think too hard about the part of me that really regrets stopping as it is done now. I am still expessing a bit but has almost dried up (1 week later) and I think it would complicate things from point of view of her oesphagitis as she could be allergic to anything i am eating and I really dont want to see her in that state again.

I really need some advice on how to move forward with this as I feel terrible that I cannot give her what she wants or explain why she cant have it.

please help and dont judge me too harshly!

ps feeling horrendously emotional with shock of her having been so ill and presumably hormones from stopping bf. .

pps - i did say to the paed that I would do whatever helped her the most and of course i was fully prepared to live on whatever diet they advised - just wanted to do the best thing for her and thats what they advised.

No judging allowed JPK!

The further info you have given helps a bit, but I still don't see why you have to stop bf totally...especially when there is no much distress on both sides, your baby's and yours. It's been a horrible experience to see her so poorly and no wonder you are so upset. It will have been horrible for her, too, and no one can explain to her, so I do wonder if there is a good reason why you cannot just feed her to ease her transition from all the upsetting things that have happened to normality, and transition to bottle feeding.

If you have no milk, or not much, then presumably any risk of allergy is small, and she would enjoy the comfort and closeness.

Obv you will not want to risk any ill health - are you sure the docs would forbid any baby-breast contact?

Thanks Tiktok. Have seen your name mentioned alot so nice to get a reply from you.

I have a clinic appt on wed so will ask them.

Basically, as she still developed oesophagitis despite dairy free diet, she must be intolerant to something else in my breast milk - eg eggs, gluten, tomatoes - and even a small amount of this could trigger it off again so definitely do not want to risk it at this stage.

However, I have a clinic appt on wed so will ask them.

Agree would be good idea to try to continue eeven just as a transition - or would like to continue at night. I guess I should keep pumping to try to keep supply going and then go onto whatever hypoallergenic diet they suggest

Thanks again

I had to go cold turkey last weekend with my DS who wouldn't take a bottle. He was just as your DD was - clawing at my chest, very upset/clingy. It was very upsetting to me as I did love bf him but I was close to PND after months of not having time apart from him etc.

I'm not sure if there is anything you can do really except give lots of cuddles and be patient. It seems neverending but it will get better, after a week my DS is now fine with his cups of milk, is drinking more and is back to his sunny self. It's probably even harder for you as your poor DD has been ill but I would think if you hang in there she'll relax and be happier in a few days.

Thanks musicmaiden, thats really reassuring.

I think we can get through a week after everything else. She seems to be getting more clingy but think thats just her feeling better and remembering what she used to get.

I hope that youre feeling better. I do agree BF can be quite isolating especially when not going well. I spent alot of time trying to feed DD in darkened rooms in people's houses while their babies happily bf admist noise and chatter. Although I am missing it alot, there are definietly positives in the sanity side and hopefully husband will be able to be more involved as their relationship was suffering too.

take care

Thank you, it's early days (still have some milk etc and hormones are all over the place, as you know yourself), but do feel somewhat better, although I do miss bf.

Your poor DD - at least she is feeling better generally. Take comfort that you have done what you have done because it is the best thing for her health. Hang in there, stay calm and loving as best you can, and I am sure all will work out. My DS now makes a big grab for his cup and gulps down his milk, a total turnaround from a few days ago.

x