Really need some support from experienced mums...

[whittywan]

DS is 20 weeks old today and I am really proud to have ebf'd him so far. Things got of to an excellent start but since colic kicked in at around 4 weeks, we have had one difficulty after another. The only thing that has kept me going is the fact that he has always had excellent weight gain and has kept to the 75th centile.

From about 12 weeks old he has been incredibly distractible and would only feed when sleepy and in a quiet place (often I would also have to play some white noise for him to focus and feed). Although this made feeding in public nearly impossible we have managed to make it work and he makes up for any missed calories during the day at nighttime (we co-sleep from first waking to facilitate the 'endless' feeds) but since Sunday this has all changed. He now refuses to feed unless he is already asleep and SCREAMS if I try to put him to the breast awake.

It is really tiring as he used to feed to sleep and now I have to rock him to sleep for about 30mi s before he goes down and will feed. He still feeds alot during the night.

I really don't want to wean early and was hoping to bf for at least a year. But I don't know if it is feasible to continue like this and whether my supply will remain sufficient.

Please help?

well done for getting this far with the bf

I'm sorry i dont have any ideas / suggestions but hold on and hopefully some experts will be along later tonight

Same for me. Well done for trying to do what's best. I hope you can get some advice here. Otherwise, you can try to contact La Leche league? Call 0845 120 2918.

DD did this recently - turned out she had a virus It was awful, I fed her to sleep, but when she was like this I just used to have to hold her while she scresmed herself to sleep
Slightly less dramatic - could he be teething?

Are there any bf support groups in your area? (whereabouts in the country are you?) Have you checked his mouth for thrush? New teeth?

Well done for getting to 20 weeks! It doesn't sound like you've had an easy ride so far. Hope you get over this problem too!

Secret - I have considered teething but although he loves chewing things, he has done for weeks, and I don't see any other evidence for teething.

Regarding the virus, what other symptoms did your DD have? DS is a little more 'sicky' than before but it looks like normal posseting and he has no fever or other obvioussigns of illness.

sounds a bit like a nursing strike? and might be as a result of teething/virus just like secret says.

Having been there myself (DS also refused all day and would only feed at night but he was ten months), it might help to have real life support though, so phone NCT or LaLecheLeague to have a chat with someone about it, particularly as your DS is so young.

No experinec of this happening to me but I can highly recommend la leche league for advice. Their website is very good too.

I'm in rural North Yorkshire and do attend the breastfeeding support group locally but we don't have any really knowledgable supporters around here. Just local mums

Sounds like a nursing strike,is usually teething related.My DD went on a total nursing strike at 28 weeks which lasted three days roughly and was hideous .The doc could see that her ears were inflamed, and she did cut a tooth shortly afterwards.No probs since and she is 36m now and still bf.I would google "nursing strike" but the general advice is to feed while sleeping as you are doing,and to keep offering the breast in as stressfree way as you can.Hopefully it will be v short lived!

whittywan, nothing really except more grouchy (but really only when feeding as I described) and then on day 2 she got a rash.

I'm in Co Durham and have family in rural north yorks...northallerton ish. Where are you (roughly)?

SPB - are you Stealth? Like your election name!

I am close to Whitby. The thing that worries me the most is that we are going down to London at the weekend for a wedding and then to New York on holiday for 10 days

I am - sorry have I asked you that before??
If you're worried I would talk to your HV or even the GP - I was really really worried when DD stopped feeding. Might be worth trying some teething powder before a feed, or bonjela if that's suitabe for babies. Do you even know if he'll take a bottle?

SPB - we have spoken before on AIBU

I am taking DS to the HV tomorrow for 3rd set of jabs, so may ask then but I am not very confident about the advice I received from her in the past.

I really do hope it is a teething though.

Hi!
The advice on the kellymom website is spot on. I would heartily recommend spending a lot of time skin to skin, without trying to actively offer your breast. Often they will start looking for it themselves after 1-2 hours snuggled next to their mum. Doing the same thing in the bath can be good too, as they get really relaxed and it can be very womb like if you turn the lights low.

One other thing to check is that there is no signs of thrush, as this can make their mouth physically sore which can make it painful to suck.

If it goes on for a while be sure to express regularly to maintain your supply.

Let us know how you get on.

oh god, wibu?
Good advice from Lilybunny.
When I asked about bottles I just meant you may be swapping one problem for another - if you stop you may have an equal or worse fight to get milk into him. DD was given a bottle when she was in hospital, with the virus but loads better. She refused to let us feed her it, and loved chewing the teat and generally throwing it around, but didn't drink anything from it

No UWNBU , I sort of was .

He has never taken a bottle even when I/DH tried very, very hard in the past to give him one he has always just smiled and chewed at the teat.

I am usually just a lurker, but I had to add to this thread.

My ds is now 5 and used to be EXACTLY as you describe your ds. It turned out that he had reflux, and associated feeding with pain which is why he would only feed when asleep.

Reflux meds helped a little, as did calming him with a dummy before offering breast. Other times, he had to be completely asleep. Night feeds seemed to be the best as he would feed a lot without really waking.

None of this may help, but keep with it. I ended up feeding my ds for 13mths in this strange fashion and I feel really proud even now that I kept going!!!

Good luck!!

Thanks CheekyGirl

I am actually quite willing to continue like this as long as it means he gets enough nourishment and it is nice to hear that you managed to fed your DS past 12months.

We had considered reflux before (at around 7 weeks)the Gaviscon didn't help and his symptoms at that stage seemed to be more in keeping with my overactive let-down.

I think I may give the breastfeeding helplines a call tomorrow and see what the hv has to say.

An update: DS fed quite alot during the night but this morning although unsettled He has managed to latch on while I was rocking him and has fed to sleep. Still in my arms now as I am petrified of putting him down.

Still no teeth though

oh dear
do you have a hand free to call the helplines?

I don't have any advice, but my son (22 weeks today) is a lot like you describe: won't (hardly ever) feed during the day unless I first 'rock' him to sleep a bit (involves crying) or if he's just woken from a short nap. Long naps when he wakes alert and happy don't work. The only exception is the end-of-the-day feed, which he takes happily. Generally, if he's not very relaxed, I get shouted at when I try to feed him, though he often latches on. Yes, signs of a fast let-down, but I don't think that's the reason at this age. I'm managing 5-6 feeds every 24 hours and his weight is good. I've sort-of accepted it, but it means I'm very home-bound. I've fed him in the car (from sleeping in the car seast0), but feeding while out doesn't work in general. I'm interested to hear advice too.

Just back from hv. DS is sleep feeding as I type this.

HV suggested that he is getting 'bored' with bf and that I should start weaning onto solids so... guess I WON'T be taking her advice (especially since he is still bang on the 75th centile!!)[sceptical]

LLLI has basically suggested I carry on as we are currently but just increase the amount of skin-to-skin (will have a long bath together this evening I think)but she doesn't think that it is a full blown nursing strike as he is still happy to nap and night feed.

So it seems that this is just another hurdle...

oh dear Hope things improve
Just a thought, have you tried letting him dictate his own feeding position a bit more? IIRC at about this age DD didn't always want me cradling her, sometimes she wanted to get more involved. Of course that makes feeding in public awkwadr

I think we have had a breakthrough!!!
DS has been more clingy, as usual, after his jabs and latched on awake for his post bath feed, his early breakfast feed and again now for mid-morning feed!!! I am elated!

Hope it continues