WWYD?

[moanyhole]

history is expressed exclusively for ds till he was 18 months old. fed dd successfully till she was 11 months but she started biting me badly, couldnt cope with the pain, so started exclusively expressing for her from then on as have it down to a fine art because of ds. came down with the lue a couple of days ago and couldnt express for 30 hours. supply has gone way down, expressed 3 times today and 2 oz to show for my efforts. was really hoping to get to 18 months for dd too, so she could get BM the same as ds. so this feels a really premature ending. she eats fine, drinks any kind of milk i offer her, so i know she'll be fine if i call it a day, but feel really bad that she didnt get BM as long as DS. She is 15 months. I could go on an expressing marathon, and take motilium, but really DH is against this, because im juggling a lot these days and tired a lot of the time. he thinks she's the best out of bf and i should call it a day now. i agree but emotional.
opinions please, im all over the place

sorry for typos, i mean flu not lue!

Three months difference is not so much in the scheme of things,but also your supply will go back up again with more pumping (at least in theory,I have never been able to pump more than a smallish amount and yet have a decent supply,but then I have only tried a few times).
I did find that when my dd went on a (thankfully brief) nursing strike I felt very weepy and emotional,something to do with the hormonal shift,so that may be a factor in how you are feeling.I think it is hard to feed siblings for just the same time.My dd1 stopped feeding at 27m ,her choice,but I am still feeding dd2 at 36m and this now causes much jealousy from dd1,but dd2 doesn't want to stop at all so I feel torn.

I'm no expert, but I would say that you have done a fantastic job for both of your DC. I know exactly where you're coming from with trying to do an equal amount for both children - I b/fed DD1 until she was 2 years old. DD2 is just 5 weeks old, and I am really hoping I can do the same for her, but at the moment I am just taking it a day at a time and will do whatever I need to do for my whole family.

Your DH may well be right and you may need to cut yourself some slack - perhaps you got flu because you were already run down and doing too much? You have expressed for 4 months, which is pretty impressive. If your DD is happy to take other milk then perhaps it is time to give yourself a break? A 3 month difference between the two children really isn't that much, especially as they are not tiny babies.

thanks for the replies. 15 months for me personally just seems a tad too short, but i do have to weigh it all up. its hard expressing at work too and im definately getting tired a lot more easily. i have to express last thing at night and get up early before work to express so im just tired. but i had really hoped to keep it up for those last 3 months. im stuborn that way. DH is saying that its only a matter of time anyway and i know he is right. could be hormonal but im all weepy! DD is my last child, a miracle who docs told us would never arrive so i cant believe that f could be all over for me, its been a huge part of me for 4 years!

how often are you expressing? can you drastically cut down, but maybe still give her one bm feed a day?

im expressing usually 4-5 times a day- was getting 12 oz at that, if i cut down now ill be left with nothing id say, unless i try and build it up first.
dilemma!

I feel for you,it is sad the end of breastfeeding.I won't have another baby as am 46 now,so I know that although I am worn out and run down and would feel fine about stopping bf if DD wanted,I will also feel the pang that its a phase of my life completely over.You have been so committed and selfless about feeding them,you must be a lovely Mummy to have and that will be expressed (no pun intended!)in everything you do long after bf has stopped.

thanks so much hellymelly, ill remember your post when im feeling down
ive decided to give one last try at getting the supply up, if it dosent work then i can be at peace with knowing that i did all that i could.

I've just read your op and I'm so impressed - I find it hard expressing twice a day (DS doesn't breastfeed unless in a dark room and I like to go out!)

anyway I wondered what pump you use? I hired a hospital grade one from nct and it is miles better than my avent one - perhaps you could try one just to restablished supply? Sorry if you're already using one!

i have the medela PIS advanced igglybuff- should be ok.
well i got 5oz in total today- not great but enough to give me hope and to give her one good BM feed a day . so im keeping it up! fingers crossed.
xx