Poor latch but told it's not.

[HappySeven]

My dd is 3 weeks old and since she was 8 days I've been topping her up with expressed bm as she wasn't gaining weight (having lost 10%). She's gained weight well since but I'd really like to not top up (I don't think expressing after every feed is sustainable with another child to care for).

My problem is that I'm sure that the latch is poor (blanched, misshapen nipples after feed) but anyone who's seen us says it's fine. I've got flat nipples that get drawn out during a feed but does anyone have any advice before I throw in the towel?

Don't throw the towel in just yet happyseven .

Who have you seen so far for latch advice? Misshapen and blanched nipples does sound like something needs adjusting.

Is there a breastfeeding cafe that you could visit or some sort of bf support group where you could get another opinion? Have you spoken to any of the breastfeeding helplines?

Just in case you haven't already looked, here is the link to kellymom with loads of great advice on getting a good latch.

HTH

Thanks, crikeybadger. Various midwives have watched and also the hospital-based breastfeeding consultants. I want to get along to one of the clinics this week but with another child in tow I'm not sure I can. I think I must have small areola and so the whole thing disappears and it's assumed we have a good latch. It's not always painful and she does come off contented sometimes so I hope it's working but I'm already worried about the weigh in on Wednesday.

I really don't want to fail my baby like I did her big brother and feel it's all going wrong.

Sorry, just reread my last message and realise I sound melodramatic. Her brother didn't gain weight until I gave up the breastfeeding (at 8 weeks) although he didn't lose it after the initial drop either. I believe that breast is best but if my children don't thrive until I stop (or express) it seems it's not in their case. DS didn't smile till 10 weeks and was described as emaciated at his 8 week check up and I don't want to put DD through that for the sake of my own determination to bf.

Don't worry about bringing an older child to the bf cafe BTW - lots of people do, the peer supporters/breastfeeding counsellors often bring their own children too.

No, I do know what you mean happyseven. My LO was described as a 'pathethic little scrap' at a weigh in as he was so thin. (Needless to say I'm not seeing that HV anymore!).

It sounds though that things are just taking a bit of time to get established, you say dd is contented mostly.

Maybe give the group and go and see how things are at the weigh in.

Oh and you haven't and aren't failing any of your children.

Thanks, I know you're right really it's just easy to be disheartened.

She falls asleep on the breast but will scream 5 mins later and almost never turns down a top up (up to 2.5oz) which makes me wonder what, if anything, she's taken from the breast. She possets alot and as her brother had reflux I do wonder if she's the same and it's not hunger but pain that makes her take the top up only to throw it up because she's overloaded.

There's a local bf clinic on Thurs so I'll pop along to that and hope someone can help.

Yes, these early weeks are difficult times aren't they.

Sorry don't know anything about reflux, but maybe Tiktok's around ?

Hope you get some good help on Thursday.

have you had a check for tongue tie?

my dd had good latch but i had misshapen nips- it was tongue tie, she had it snipped and has been feeding much better ever since. Still get blanched nips but not misshpen ones (mine are flat too)

The bf consultant at the hospital snipped her tongue when she was just a day old so that should be fine. She was v small and I've been told that she should improve as she gets bigger and stronger but she just seems to get noisier!

It's good to hear you say you've got a good latch though. Maybe mine's not as bad as I think. She does gulp for the 1st minute but she never does "suck, suck, swallow" it's either "suck, swallow, suck, swallow" or "suck, suck, suck, suck". (I'm not v good at knowing when she's swallowing but there aren't gaps.)

Does your DD feed well despite the flat nipples? I try and get as much in her mouth as possible and relatch her as the nipple gets drawn out but I'm not convinced it's right even then.

You could also try the lasinoh latch assist?
A kind Mnetter gave me one and i brought one- so I have two! I could post you one if you wanted?

Madam doesn't feed well but its not because of the flat nipples or the latch its because she keeps bloody falling asleep or is happy to spend hours doing the non-nutritive sucking (am a human dummy- she won't take a dummy!) so we do bottle top ups too- keep trying to reduce them but I'm not sure my supply will ever be enough for her as we had a completely rubbish start and trying to catch up ever since.

It's so nice to hear someone in a similar situation. Today's been a better day although as usual she's very unsettled for an hour or so after a feed, then sleeps and I have to wake her before the gaps between feeds are too big - it seems so mean when she's finally happy to start the cycle again!

I'd never heard of the latch assist - does it do a similar thing to an expresser? I've sometimes used that first.

latch assist

Is a bit fiddly to use when out and about but is good to get the nips out- (though I always ended up spraying DD's face with milk when I used it!) Have given up now and I just pinch my nips before shoving em in her mouth and she does the rest!

DD just took 6oz formula for her night feed for the first time ever and hasn't vomited it back up (she doesnt know when to stop so she just takes until she is sick, we have been increasing gradually since 2oz was too much initially!) so I fear that my boobs will never be enough for her but heck have decided to be happy with the 70% breastmilk 30% formula combo we have going.

I know people can be a bit militant about breastfeeding and formula but honestly do what is best for you. I am a bit gutted about not being able to exclusively feed DD but then I think we have the best of both worlds too as sometimes a quick bottle of formula sees her right for hours when we don't have time for a leisurely boob feed where she would only be wanting more in an hour or so! I still pump loads and put her too the boob loads and sometimes she seems absolutely fine on just breast milk but she can be cranky and with the extra formula she is less cranky and sleeps better so I figure probably better stick with it.

As I say- Formula is your cheap thick white sliced bread- and breastmilk is your premium steak. Nowt wrong with a steak sandwich if you ask me!

Woohoo! She's gained another 4oz in 5 days despite me expressing less. I really hope it continues and think it will take me a long time to stop being paranoid but it's a great confidence boost that she's getting enough.

I think our daughters are cut from the same mould, Thandeka, as I'm wondering whether DD's vomiting is her eyes being larger than her stomach.

I hope things continue to go well for you (and for us too, of course!)

hurrah that's great news! My dd is 12 weeks now and putting on 500g plus every two weeks now and it's probably because she is getting too much now in way of top ups but paranoia hasn't quite left me yet! I go to breastfeeding group every week and have her weighed every couple of weeks, but am really going to try and not get her weighed for a month and just chillout about her food else childhood obesity is going to be the issue not starvation! (is partly because her Tongue tie was snipped at 7 weeks so after that she became much better at exteacting milk and my supply boosted as a result but I kept her top ups the same and even increased the volume so her nighttime bottle is now 6oz instead of 4 oz which she takes happily! I can probably get rid of top ups but still a bit dependent on them due to sore nips and sometimes timewise a bottle can be drunk faster although dd seems to have got a much more efficient feeder of late.

Kids eh!

Great weight gain happyseven .

Glad that things are getting better now.

Thanks, you two. Feeling pretty good at the moment and hope to get away with not expressing for the next week and reassess whether she's getting enough then. Can always start again if it looks like she needs it but I'd rather not. I wish breasts had some sort of gauge on them so you knew how much they'd taken!