Nearly 2 and it's time to stop- help me please

[smallishsheep]

Ds is 2 in June and I still bf. I had thought that I would continue til he was ready to stop, but the truth is I htink that may be a very long time in the future, and my heart is not in it anymore. I find it exhausting and tbh he is very fidgety at the boob, pulls and scratches and I think is too dependant on milk to get to sleep. We have had a rough few nights here meaning noone has had any sleep and I am exhausted. I can't go on knowing the only thing that will calm him down is the breast
I know people will offer words of encouragement to keep going, but I really do know that, for me, I think the bfing journey is over.
He comes into bed with me in the morning for his feed, has one feed before nap and then another before bed, but if he gets upset will ask for it throughout the day. He is fine without it if he is ever left with someone, which tbh is not often.

So how, practically, do I stop? I am tempted to get him a bottle for a few weeks to see if that offers him the comfort of sucking, but am torn because of his age - if we have to battle to give up the boob, the last thing I want is a battle to give up the bottle

The most common advice for stopping at this age is "don't offer don't refuse" In practice that means trying to stop the routine as much as you can, ideally heavily involving the father if that's an option in your family. So in the morning - could you be up already when he gets up, and offer him some breakfast at the table instead, or could your dh take him downstairs and make a bit of a fuss of him? Similarly in the evening, could you change things around in some way to stop the trigger moments? On the other hand, to make it less emotionally traumatic, if he is really insistent in asking for it, and won't be distracted, then don't refuse. Doing it this way you can gradually reduce the number of b/feeds and in time (hopefully not too long) he will get used to doing without. Good luck.

Am a lone parent emkana
I will try offering distraction though. Do you think I should substitute cows milk at all feeds? Or begin to drop the milk altogether?

Hmm - think you will need to gird your loins and ease him off the boob gently. The last feed to go will likely be evening bedtime, but try to cut out other feeds as a gradual process starting with early morning - distract with yummy breakfast and cuddle/play?
Then target nap-time - drink/cuddle/gentle song. Finally bedtime - bath, drink, stories, gentle song. I think it's all about distraction. DD1 weaned at 21 months and it was a mix of me accepting that BF was coming to a natural end (difficult/sad) and her growing up and realising she didn't need it.

I think you're right about not wanting to move to a bottle as an alternative - have you tried something like a doidy cup?
All children different though, and you know your DS best.

Oh sorry I didn't realize. You don't have to substitute cow's milk like for like, just dairy in general because of the calcium etc, but could be yogurt or cheese. I think for a while it will be even more tiring because for example in the morning it will rising earlier to break the routine of snuggle/feed in bed, but if you keep it up it will pay off and then you can go back to having him in for a cuddle in the morning, without feeding hten.

Ah loopy! (Tis I, with your beautiful ring sling I just ordered a patapum but that's a different thread...)
Is there one near here? Ds woke up and toddled in, thanks to his new status as Big Boy in Big Boy Bed and the first thing he did was demand milk. So I gave it to him. I do feel a bit mean to want to stop, but I do feel the time is right for me. With dd I gave up at 10 months as she was in full time nursery while I was at uni and the expressing was just a killer, but because she wasn't with me all day, and was already used to a bottle, it wasn't a battle. I don't think ds will give up without a fight.
I know there's a BFing cafe somewhere localish, I will have to look it up. I always kind of think that they're more for new mums though?

Hello! I started gently hinting to DD when she was 15 months that "wouldn't it be nice to have big girl's milk?" (from a cow-print feeder cup). It wasn't long before she was happy to always have the cow cup and now at 2.5 she still has it morning and night and it's been a great substitute- along with a cuddle! No tears involved!

Hi smallishsheep and loopy!

I gave up with DS a couple of months ago, we were down to morning and evening only so it wasn't too bad. We just got straight downstairs and on with the ready-brek in the mornings and in the evening I gave him cow's milk from an open cup with a straw.

He's pulled at my top a bit a few times when he's tired and fed-up anyway but didn't really protest much and it was really too late to turn back by the time he complained.

We definitely start earlier in the mornings (never my best time of day) but it's been the right decision for us.

Very good luck

Yay! Everyone's here
I need to ask a question about giving up. When I stopped with dd it was agony. I had real engorgement and oooo the pain. But she was 10 months old, and we pretty much went cold turkey on the boob. DO you think it will be easier this time?
So far, nothing has gone to plan Ds has had a couple of truly awful nights. Am considering putting the cot up again tbh as at least then he'll be contained . I think taking away the milk right now will definately be a bad step. So I'm going to see if he has a better night tonight (please god) and maybe attempt some warm milk at bedtime.
drowning, I still haven't had to give ds a haircut He is the bald headed wonder.

can I hijack a little and ask those of you who gave up breastfeeding an older child, did it make any difference to your energy levels.

I feel tired quite a lot of the time, and need a LOT of sleep these days, and am, wondering if I stopped, if I would suddenly have more energy?

Peach, I would like to know that too. My energy is shot, but that is probably because I have a son who thinks midnight is fascinating, as is 2am and 5 am
I will be interested to see if it makes a difference to my weight too. I have found, with both dc, that my body will simply not let go of weight when bfing a lot. With dd, it all fell off very quickly after I gave up. WIth ds it's taken longer, my body would not lose the weight for much longer, but then something clicked around 15 or 16 months and again, it pretty much fell off, and more. I worry that now I am still feeding having lost it, it will go back on (again, please god NOOOOOOOOO)

oh dear, poor you smallsheep, I symapthise with your nocturnal activities!!!

I don't even have your excuse, as DD sleeps through the night and I only have 1, but I really struggle sometimes. It could just be that having a baby/babies is exhausting and I know my lifestyle is a lot more active now.

Also, just read something which reminded me I should be drinking more water probably. Am going to start making an effort to drink more water and see if that improves things!

I stopped bf'ding DS when he was 23 months, and sounds quite similar to your situation. The way I did it was to go away for a weekend to see friends, and left him with his dad for 2 nights. When I came back he only asked me once and I simply said, no Ds you're a big boy now lets go and get you some juice. He never asked again! I think if you're not there they forget to ask iyswim. Good Luck

Yay! Congratulations!
O lord, I can only think what this will do to your stash

Congratulations Loopy ! What are you getting this time that you haven't already had? I thought you must have the full set of carrying equipment by now!

sheep - bit tender for a few days but we went straight from 2 feeds to none. Was fine after that, I've lost weight and I have more energy so far