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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

So how many of you mothers out there are breastfeeding your child beyond the age of 2?

70 replies

TheBreastmilksOnMe · 29/04/2010 22:57

I am looking for support really as I am hoping to feed my 19mth old DS for as long as he wants me to but I am just a bit anxious of the lack of support I might get from other people.

Even though I love doing it and I am well-informed of the benefits to both me and my DS, and to the general population as a whole (from seeing a child still being breastfed) I can't help but feel a little bit alone in my decision. I don't know of anyone who has breasfed past a year, certainly not until aged 4 or 5 and it would be nice to hear from anyone who is a natural-term breastfeeder!

OP posts:

moaningminniewhingesagain · 29/04/2010 23:00

Not yet but I'm fairly sure I will be DS will be 2 in December and he is still very keen on BF, I am planning for him to self wean.

Doesn't seem 5 mins since I was trying to get to 6 months, hadn't thought about continuing until I realised I had no good reason to stop So here we still are.

kittywise · 29/04/2010 23:04

ds3 has just turned three and he feeds 2-3 times a day. Actually he feeds whenever I sit down, I don't sit down very much

llareggub · 29/04/2010 23:05

I did. DS was nearly 3 when he stopped breastfeeding. I tandem-fed for a while too. There are lots on mumsnet, you need not feel alone.

ellerman · 29/04/2010 23:05

I am still feeding my son now aged 2 years and two weeks! I fed both my other children until about this time, and remember a sense of panic about never getting the second one off, but it did happen between 2 and 2.25 years. The boy however seems firmly stuck! I am ready to stop. He has a little latch on in the morning, and to go to sleep, but the biggest problem is if he wakens early from his afternoon sleep, he wants to lie and suckle for ages ( 1 or 1.5 hours). I kept going because of the swine flu threat over the winter, but he has since been vaccinated against it....I am now concerned that when particular people are in our home I feel embarrassed when he starts to move towards me!

PrimroseCrabapple · 29/04/2010 23:05

dd1 till 4 ish. dd2 is currently 3.9 and scoffs at the idea of not feeding. there are 2 years between them.

dd1 was encouraged to give up, not sure she would have quit then if i hadn't pushed but 2 years of tandem feeding was enough for me!

i should have a ticker lol. Currently i have been bf continuously for 6 years

sanfairyann · 29/04/2010 23:05

I'm an unenthusiastic bf of a 3 year old. not in a horrible way but I'd stop now if it didn't obv mean so much to her. I know quite a few mums who are still bf their 3 year olds so maybe it depends who you hang out with or maybe just who is honest about it. I don't tell people we are still bf so noone would know unless they knew us really well and I already knew how they would react. I stopped feeding her outside the house well before she was 2 tbh because I couldn't face any faces. there might be local groups where you could meet the kind of mum who might be bf still - lll groups, attachment parenting groups for example.

hellymelly · 29/04/2010 23:06

Mine is three tomorrow.My GP last week said "HOW old is she? Doesn't it hurt?"

elvislives · 29/04/2010 23:12

My DD is 3.1 and still feeding whenever she can She gets quite cross when I try to put her off, or when I try to take her off before she's ready.

booyhoo · 29/04/2010 23:13

well, ds is only 11 months so i dont know how long he will want to feed for but i will stop when he decides. OH thinks it strange that i will be happy to feed him at 4 or 5. so i understand how you feel about the lack of support.

although i have discovered during my time of bfing ds2 that i have to be my own support because nobody else really has much of an interest in my dc so i encourage myself. it can be hard though when all around you are saying "dont you think it's time to stop?"

hellymelly · 29/04/2010 23:14

Yes I've been bf continuously for five years and four months....

justallovertheplace · 29/04/2010 23:15

Ds is 22 months and we're still going. I've always assumed he'd stop when he's ready.I stopped feeding dd at 10 months as I was at uni full time and it was just too time consuming to express as much as I was and I regret giving in tbh. With ds I am a sahm so have no outside pressures making me stop (not to mention no expressing!)

wastingaway · 29/04/2010 23:16

DS will be 2 in a fortnight.

I'm undecided on how self-weaned he'll be in the end, but if I put that decision off for long enough...

Original poster

TheBreastmilksOnMe · 29/04/2010 23:17

Do you know, that's really nice and encouraging to hear, thankyou I wasn't expecting so many replies!

DS loves his 'milkies' and I'd love to keep feeding, has anyone experienced any 'negative' reactions from other people and how did you react to them?

OP posts:

HighFibreDiet · 29/04/2010 23:21

I bf ds2 until he was about 3 1/2, when he self-weaned. I intend to bf ds3 for as long as he wants.

I found most of my support with ds2 came from internet friends - I only had one friend in 'real life' who breastfed past 2y, although I did go to a couple of La Leche League (LLL) meetings, so came into contact with a few more. But I found the LLL meetings were mostly aimed at people with small babies who were having the problems you have earlier on in breastfeeding, so they weren't particularly helpful for me.

This time round the LLL meetings are far closer (geographically), and they have coffee mornings for those of us with toddlers. So I regularly come into contact with 4 or 5 other people with children my son's age. It's great - although I know I'm going to carry on as long as we both want to, I don't have to feel embarrassed or feel like I have to justify my decision. If you have a LLL group near you I highly recommend it.

Sariska · 29/04/2010 23:22

Still going at 25 months. Was down to 1 feed a day but DS has upped it to twice a day since his sister was born 7 weeks ago. I don't want to force him to wean before he's ready but I can't say I'm happy with him adding more feeds. I'm feeling a bit touched out right now...

Anyway, whatever your reasons for doing it, you're definitely not alone in long term BFing on MN!

Reallytired · 29/04/2010 23:23

Go to your nearest La Leche League meeting. There are plenty of people who feeding children until the age of two, but they tend to keep quiet about it.

I think that its important that breastfeeding does not trap you. Have an open mind. Just because you feed until two years old doesn't mean you are committed to self weaning.

sanfairyann · 29/04/2010 23:25

oh also nct - but not the usual nct mums of 4 month olds, more likely the ones who run it/organise stuff - they often seem to be long term breastfeeders - and it's fun to hang out with them

HighFibreDiet · 29/04/2010 23:25

sorry cross posted with your last post. I haven't experienced many negative comments/experiences - I think if I breastfeed in public I send out 'don't you dare challenge me' vibes! My mum's (female) partner does sometimes make comments comparing me with a cow but we don't see her very much and she doesn't feel confident enough to say them very loud so I ignore her . My mum breastfed me and my sister anyway, so I know she is supportive - although she sometimes makes comments about how draining it is and I wonder if she thinks I've carried on for too long but doesn't want to tell me to my face.

chiccadee · 29/04/2010 23:26

TBOM, great thread. I'm still bf my 17mo but have (am ashamed to say) stopped outside the house. Extended bfing wasn't planned - when he was born, I had in mind 6m for weaning, then 12m but it clearly means a lot to him and I'm not prepared to give it up because a few people are at something that is natural and normal in most of the world.

As far as -ve reactions go, I guess I don't get many because I don't feed outside the house (distract, distract on the few occasions when it is an issue!) Plus, if someone was -ve, I wouldn't want them as a friend, tbh.

I was a bit annoyed with DH when, at 12m, he made some joke about 'it not being as if DS is 4 or 5 years old' in relation to bfing. I really don't want to go on that long (would be happy to stop tomorrow!) but if that is what DS needs to feel happy and secure then I guess I will.

hellymelly · 29/04/2010 23:27

I do get negative reactions (see my GP above),from my GP's-all of them- worst of all which is terrible,and even friends make comments as though I must be desparate to stop whereas I don't mind at all other than the night feeds which I would happily give up! I wish I had a friend here still feeding but I don't know anyone at all.My mother in law is always negative about it,plus we co-sleep which she comments on too,Gawd you would think I was beating my children not feeding them and cuddling them at night.I think the general feeling that people disaprove is the single thing that makes me feel I should stop,and I am 46,fairly bolshy,not shy etc,so it does have a big impact.If you live in a culture like say ,Argentina ,where everyone feeds to at least two,then it must be so much easier to continue for as long as you and your babies want to.

Montifer · 29/04/2010 23:29

DS is 2 next month and still bf at bedtime, on waking and sometimes before daytime nap (basically if it's me putting him down).

Am now pg with DC2 and contemplating tandem feeding if DS wants to keep going, can't imagine him choosing to stop any time soon

Haven't looked into the logistics of it yet but am happy to give it a go.

Sorry if this is a slight thread hijack, but whilst on the subject:-
The only aspect of extended bf that concerns me slightly is that I've had a couple of low grade infections recently; eye infection which needed antibiotics to clear up and a couple of fungal (thrush) skin infections which have slowly responded to canesten treatment.
Chatted to a Dr at work (who bf her DS until age 2) who thinks that extended bf can cause mild immunosuppression which may increase susceptibility to these problems.

I had only been aware of the positive benefits of extended bf to mother and child before, has anyone else experienced similar problems and if so any advice?

hellymelly · 29/04/2010 23:36

Well I have had a lot of chest type infections,that sort of thing,not sure if I am run down from lack of sleep though,rather than the breastfeeding.

PrettyCandles · 29/04/2010 23:47

I breastfed my dc2 until she self-weaned just before her second birthday. It was such a gentle weaning that we didn't even notice it - just realised one day that she hadn't asked for a while. I never had any negativity from anybody (and, yes, I fed in public) except oddly enough from my parents. They were worried that dd wd still be feeding when shestarted school. It was odd because my mum fed all of us until we were at least 18m, so why she had any issue with it I haven't a clue.

I bfd dc3 until he was 3. He was showing no signs if self-weaning, but I had to stop because I needed to start taking longterm medication. Again, I never had any negativity, and this time my parents did not say anything until we had passed the point at which dd had stopped. When they brought up the 'what if he is still feeding when he starts school?' issue, I responded that that wd not be a problem, he could still have a feed morning and evening. I only said it to shock them, but the truth is that even as I said it I realised that I meant it. I'd rather not be breastfeeding a school-age child, but if I am - so what?

The only real idiocy I've experienced over breastfeeding a toddler was when I asked a GP to confirm that a medication he was prescribing was compatible with bfing. He asked dd''s age (18m) and started whittering on about how he was concerned that she could be malnutritioned! All the while this 91st C for height 75th-91st C for weight child was contentedly shattering away under his feet, playing constructively with the survey toys. What a plonker!

Go for it - enjoy feeding your toddler for as long as you both like. It's more than just nutrition now. It's a whole relationship, with communication in both directions.

CharCharGabor · 30/04/2010 00:20

I'm feeding DD1 (2.9) in tandem with DD2 (8 weeks). DD1 feeds twice a day but occasionally skips the morning one if we are busy. I think it's really helped with the upheaval of DD2's arrival, she adores her and is very gentle. It's all very intense now and there are many times when I think I'd like to stop as I'm so touched out, but I'm hoping that will improve as DD2 grows.

DP is very supportive and I tend not to discuss it with other members of our families, although my MIL is very pro-breastfeeding. I've had no issues with my friends. The one very negative experience I had was with the hv that visited when DD2 was 10 days old. She gave me a disgusted look and asked scathingly whether I thought it might be an idea to stop now. Erm, no. Not 10 days into having a new sibling with all the craziness that brings. I reported her to another hv who attends the babycafe and am going to challenge her on it when I see her.

The one piece of advice I would give is to own your choice. If anyone asks, tell them in an assertive tone that yes, you are feeding your toddler. I have found that I have been challenged less as I think I give off a vibe of "don't mess with me." I obviously didn't have this attitude 10 days post partum and it showed.

foxytocin · 30/04/2010 04:26

Montifer: Pregnancy causes mild immunosuppression. So that the mother's body doesn't reject the foetus.

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