6mo refusing the nurse unless practically asleep

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This probably belongs in sleep as much as it does here but here goes...

My 6mo ds has been (until now) pretty much a dream to feed (ebf)... I've noticed however, over the last couple of weeks that he will absolutely refuse to nurse unless he is practically asleep. It's making life quite difficult as he's getting very grumpy shortly after waking up from naps (hunger), but as he's not sleepy just won't feed. Eventually he starts to get tired as well, but even then he won't feed (and won't sleep either) so we end up with a 15/20min battle where he gets progressively wound up and crying until he gives in and nurses. Within seconds his eyes close and he's fast asleep... so he doesn't have a big feed and then the cycle starts again. Occassionally he wakes mid-nap crying (I suspect because he's hungry) so I nurse him again and he drops off, anywhere from another 15mins to 30mins. I do this as he really suffers if he doesn't nap for about 3hrs in the day (morning, lunch and afternoon) so I kind of will do anything to be sure that he sleeps.

On the one hand I kind of think, so what?, but he used to go down for naps without a murmur and since this new 'routine' DH just can't get him to settle so I don't really get a break. I'm finding that I am also getting very distressed as I don't like to hear him cry and be grumpy and I just feel like I can't cope, especially when he so forcefully refuses to nurse.

Has anyone else experienced this and if so, did you do anything to change it? The one thing I can think of is to NOT feed him if he wakes mid-nap, just get him up so that he will (hopefully) be so hungry before the next one that he caves in... but I don't know whether that will work. He normally naps every 2 to 2.5 hrs btw and he does have a dummy at nap time which I try to use to settle him first (and then resort to later when I want to transfer him back to the cot). I suspect that some of you may suggest ditching the dummy...

Another reason for wanting him to nurse 'awake' is that we're trying to wean (blw) but are finding getting the right time difficult as we're never sure if he's hungry for milk or not!

If he doesn't want to feed then I wouldn't force it. I would take my cues from him and only feed when he asks for it. Try going for longer between naps during the day.

With regards to BLW, offer him solids at the usual times of breakfast, lunch and dinner and offer him a breastfeed as and when he needs it. Don't try and stick to any schedule with BFing, just take his lead and see how it goes but really I just think that he may be less hungry for breasfeeds now that you have started BLWing.

My DS reduced his feeds from every 2 hours to just 3-4 a day when we started BLWing. Keep feeding him during the night if he's asking for it though.

Thanks for your reply

I'm really trying not to force him but it's hard when I know he's grumpy because he's hungry

We've only been doing BLW for 2 or 3 days and he's not eaten anything yet so I don't think that's reducing his hunger just yet.

I have also thought about longer between naps but he just literally can't keep his eyes open but I'll give it a go.

Strangely though he has woken up twice now with full on screaming fits so I wonder if there's something else going on like teething that's making him so grumpy and I'm attributing it to this... Hmmm, will have to keep observing and seeing how its going, but I could really do with him going down to sleep for someone else!

He's probably teething. Try neurofen or Calpol. This will pass don't worry.

It's normal for breastfeeds to space out a bit as they age (although if you'd like to tell my DS that I'd appreciate it!)

Relax a bit, your child will not starve if he doesn't nurse as much for a couple of days.

my ds exactly the same - 7mo and this is the second time this has happened. he feeds before morning naps and other naps if we are at home. sometimes in the late afternoon he will sit still long enough to have a feed.

a toy on my shoulder worked for a while but not any more.

if he is wide awake though, regardless of if he is hungry, he is not interested, even if he asks for it, iyswim. he basically dive bombs my chest, comes across as if he is hungry, then i sit down and he's not interested .

he IS getting more adept at eating though (BLW) and I think it is more fun for him in some ways than breastfeeding.

very though

Glad to hear there's someone else out there with a DS who's exactly the same Ruby - your description of the 'divebombing' is exactly what my DS does. If the nipple isn't out and in exactly the right place at the right time then he just isn't interested! Sometimes I can manage this at home but I don't fancy sitting there with my boobs out when I'm round my mates house - as good friends as we are :-)

I think you're right whomovedmychocolate - he's been happy gnawing on my finger and cucumber sticks today, so I think he's in some pain.

I also dug out some info I was given by a friend about a book called 'The Wonder Weeks' which predicts when your DC is about to go through a developmental leap and so enters a fussy, clingy, crying phase - and sure enough there's one at 26 weeks (which he was on Sunday) - so it looks like it will pass. Thank God. DH suggested I give up BF yesterday and give EBM in a bottle as he wouldn't nurse or stop crying - unless it was in a bottle and he could see me getting frustrated. But I don't want to do that at all and got quite shitty. I know he meant well but sometimes they get it all wrong don't they!