feeling like gving up

[amummy30]

ds2 is almost 13 weeks, at last vist with HV his weight gain was poor, so advised to take him back in 2 weeks, so today I have taken him again and he has only gained 3oz, im really feeling down about it, and feel like im doing a rubbish job and should give up, he roughly feeds every 3 hours, and he goes 6 hours at night, guess I just need some words of wisdom to ake me feel better, i love breastfeeding him and don't want to stop, but why is he hardly gaining any weight!!??

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she wasnt overly concerned and said how alert and happy he was, but does want me to go back next week, and says if im concerned to visit gp, no the charts are just the ones in his red book, and after piling it on at first, it just looks like he's going down

How is his latch?

As babies and their mouths grow sometimes you need to adjust your positioning to keep ensuring they are getting a really good and deep latch.

Perhaps a breastfeeding counsellor might be able to reassure you and/or give you any helpful advice.

You are doing a brilliant job BTW!

i feel as though he has a good latch, he looks comfortable and i feel comfy, and I can see the milk going into his mouth and see him swallowing it. but i will get it looked at, my cousin is a breast feeding counseller so ill pay her a visit

Is he interested in the second boob after the first?

well DS only ever gained one or two ounces a week and the only person to ever stress about it was me! I wasted sooooo much energy, days, tears, thoughts, walks, sleep, you name it, all for....nothing.

He got there little by little and finally now we have reached one year he is back at the 50th centile where he started. He had doubled by six months as well, which I think is good, although TBH I gave up weighing him once I came to my senses. He was always happy (well, once I stopped trying to feed him to a schedule, but that's another story) and developmentally on the money. If the health PROFESSIONALS aren't worried, then trust them. More importantly, trust yourself, your body and your baby!

If you go through the archives on this board you will read lots of reassuring stories about babies who don't "pile it on".

Sounds like you are doing really well. Some babies drop a centile after the first few weeks and then settle on a lower one. Ds1 and my niece have both done this. If he is otherwise healthy, wet regularly and seems happy then try not to worry. A visit to your cousin sounds like a good idea because she can actually see him. Dont give up if you are enjoying it and dont let the health visitor worry you.

he would generally refuse the second breast if i offer it when he's finished on the first. he is a really happy lovely baby, barely cries, so I think you're right and i need to stop stressing about him measuring perfectly up a growth chart. I think whats made me a bit paranoid was a visit to dp's parents the other day where his nan and auntie were saying things like 'how do you know he's getting enough' 'he's got the runs, maybe its something you ate, be careful' (he didnt have the runs, they're just used to formula fed babies, i felt like stringing he old bats up, but then poor wight gain made me thing they were right!!

You're right of course, keep doing what you're doing. Keep seeing your HV; it sounds like she is not concerned about it, is it just you?

The whole HV 'weigh in' experience can be quite stressful I found especially when there were 'big gainers' right in front of you. I was a 'failing to thive' baby, rabbitty-skinny and my mum found it v upsetting.

You are doing a great job, keep your confidence up and enjoy your lovely boy.

You sound like you are doing amazing and giving your baby the very best start. Don't let them sap your confidence! You're doing great-you don't need to measure your milk because your baby stops feeding when he's full up. Full stop.

It's easy for me to say of course-I spent all my time thinking how small DS was next to other babies, but seriously, if baby is doing as well as you say then step away from the scales!

You might want to read "the politics of breastfeeding" to arm yourself for those relatives-not to quote it at them or anything, but so you can internally back yourself up when they use that undermining stuff...

I think they say it cus the have said previously that they couldn't breastfeed, so when they see me breastfeeding at the same time as whipping up a sunday roast I think they get a bit jelous!! haha, but of course 'all their babies were bottle fed and never did them any harm',
I'm kind of getting off the subject now, but thankyou all, im feeling very reassured, and considering giving te next weigh in a miss, the funny thing is at baby clinic, my baby is the one that everyone will comment on how big he is!!