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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

4 months in, is it all going wrong again??

25 replies

GoldenSnitch · 26/04/2010 21:08

DS was born by EMCS at 40+6 beacuse I had Pre Eclampsia and failed to progess in labour leaving us both in distress. We were both a little poorly but avoided any kind of special care although according to the midwife I saw when I got home, I should have had a blood transfusion as I was quite badly aneamic.

It was a massive struggle to get BF established and DS was topped up with a few bottles in those first few days but we got over that and BF happily until DS got to about 4 months at which point he stopped putting on weight.

After 3 weeks of absolutely no weight gain, the HV's encouraged me to introduce yet more formula top ups which I did. After 3 more weeks of absolutely no weight gain, the HV's encouraged me to wean DS onto baby rice (he was just past 5 months at this point) I had been hoping to wait until 6 months as DH and I are both Atopic but followed the HV's advice and finally DS began to put on weight again. Top ups and food were a killer for BFing though and I gave up when DS reached 6 months.

(note - DS slept 12 hours a night plus naps from about 10 weeks. Feeding/teething etc never seemed to affect this)

That was 3 years ago. 17 weeks ago DD was born by ELCS at 38+4 and I was determined to breastfeed from the beginning this time. I put her to the breast while still in theatre (DS had been whisked away and I hadn't seen him for the first 2 hours) and by the time we'd got to the ward, she was latched and feeding. I swapped boobs and fed as often as I could while my milk came in and we avoided FF top ups altogether. We've been doing brilliantly ever since and while DD is small(she was 7lbs 1ozs at birth but dropped to 6lbs 4oz by day 6 - one MW blamed dodgy scales, the other blamed being early and a section - either were worried and she has gained as expected ever since), she's been sticking to a curve on the graph quite consistently - until about 3 months, when she dropped from just below 9th percentile to just below 2nd. She's never slept as well as DS but was only waking for a feed once a night.

But in the past few weeks, that has changed. She's now waking 3 or 4 times a night to feed and feeding every 2-3 hours during the day. She napped for 40 mins this morning and another 10 this afternoon. I need to take her back to get weighed again in 3 weeks and i'm worried that she'll have dropped off the bottom of the graph and the HV's will tell me that I have to start topping her up (which will be a nightmare as she will NOT take a bottle no matter how hard I try, I've been trying to give her EBM so I can have a night out one day) or weaning her early just like DS. I'm worried that once again, it'll mean BF doesn't work anymore and I'll have to give up. I don't want to give up, I'm loving it this time

Is it possible that my body can only sustain a baby for 4 months? That after that, I just can't satisfy them anymore?

I was blaming her waking on teething and a growth spurt (she's gone up 2 clothes sizes in less than a month - she's just into 3-6 month stuff now) but maybe I'm just not giving her what she needs anymore.

Has anyone been through this? Any advice that might help us carry on?

I'm not knocking FF by the way. I used it with DS and it was a lifesaver at the time, I just really wanted to BF DD all the way to the end this time.

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fairylights · 26/04/2010 21:17

i have no real wisdom on this and i am sure someone very wise will be along soon but just wanted to say that with dd around that age (3-5 months really) she needed feeding absolutely loads - several times a night etc.. and went from 75th to 25th centile which was discouraging but HV wasn't worried (i realize your lo is smaller though so more concern i guess). But since going onto solids (BLW) she has really really filled out. I am still bf now which feels something of a triumph after months of it being a nightmare (cracked nipples and mastitis) - but i had previously bf my ds with no problems at all so knew it was possible...
anyway, not sure that is any help but you have my sympathy x

BlameItOnTheBogey · 26/04/2010 21:24

I'm not sure I have fully understood your post but is it that you are worried that she won't have put on weight because she has suddenly started waking so often in the night and this makes you think she must be hungry? If so, I don't think you need to worry about this. It is really, really normal for babies (even ones who had previously slept through) to start waking very frequently around 4 months old. Google 'four month sleep regression' and it will tell you all about it. DD is going through it at the moment and it is a killer.
Sorry if I have got the wrong end of the stick though.

GoldenSnitch · 26/04/2010 21:24

Thanks fairlylights. That's what I'd hoped for...that BF would be enough until she was old enough for weaning, BLW or otherwise...

I suppose by the time I take her back to get weighed again (HV didn't look too worried and said 4 weeks) she'll be 5 months old and we could maybe start with some food but she's just so teeny that I can't imagine her sitting in just 3 more weeks. She's getting good at grabbing things and getting them to her mouth though. Not sure about her tounge thrust reflex. DS was 5 months and it doesn't seem to have affected him allergy-wise.

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GoldenSnitch · 26/04/2010 21:27

Yes, that's it BlameItOnTheBogey! I was thinking that she was waking cause she's hungry and I'm not satisfying her...

Never heard of the 4 month sleep regression, will look it up now...

Thank you!

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GoldenSnitch · 26/04/2010 21:31

Although, she does seem to be slipping down the growth charts. DS just stopped putting on weight for 6 whole weeks so I suppose she's doing better than him but she's so mcuh further down the chart to begin with.

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1of4 · 26/04/2010 21:36

"maybe I'm just not giving her what she needs anymore."
You are giving her just what she needs - maybe she has just decided that it is so good she wants a little more of the good stuff!
just remember that someone has to be at the bottom of the growth charts! try and be guided by how your baby is - does she look healthy, is she active, is she happy, - she is obviously growing well!(two sizes in a month!) rather than just by weight. You are doing brilliantly.

BlameItOnTheBogey · 26/04/2010 21:37

Golden; so long as she is gaining some weight I think it is probably ok. They key thing is not losing weight or staying static for too long.

hairymelons · 26/04/2010 21:41

If she is feeding loads and has gone up a 2 clothes sizes in a month it's unlikely that you're not giving her what she needs.

Hope this isn't patronising but in order for you to produce enough milk for her growing needs, she has to 'demand' more milk from you. That means asking to feed a lot, waking more and generally acting unsatisfied with your efforts, all of which is bloody hard work and really knocks your confidence- I worried constantly about not producing enough milk for DS because he never seemed satisfied. It was just because he was big and had a lot of growing to do and so was on a permanent growth spurt.

Sorry if you know all that. I didn't until DS was about 10mo. Didn't know about cluster feeding or anything, just thought there was something wrong with either him or me when he fed all evening! The things they don't tell you before you bf.....

Anyway, why not go to the next baby clinic and get DD weighed sooner so you don't spend the next 3 weeks worrying about it. If she is growing (which she is), doing plenty of wet and dirty nappies etc. it is unlikely that she is going hungry. Your theory about teething/growth spurt sounds about right to me. I've always blamed DS's shit sleep on that!

If you don't get the reassurance you need on here, I would recommend ringing one of the bf helplines. Think they're all much of a muchness, have tried several and always found them to be lovely and helpful.

Hopefully someone with proper advice will be along soon, just wanted to let you know that you're not the only one in this situation- bf is a massive leap of faith, it's hard to believe it's working even when it really is.

Well done on getting this far, it isn't easy. Best of luck

cece · 26/04/2010 21:41

IME 4 month old babies do feed a lot and wake up more as they have a gorwth spurt? Could it be this? My last DC felt like he was draining me of all my energy and life for about 2 weeks at this age. He was super hungry but he did have a growth spurt then.

Just a thought.

hairymelons · 26/04/2010 21:43

Oops, no disrespect intended re 'proper advice'!
No-one had responded when I started (bloody slow typer), honest!

GoldenSnitch · 26/04/2010 21:44

You're riggh 1 of 4 - someone has to be the littlest I suppose.

She is beautiful and bright and happy and when my MIL came round and saw her today for the first time in a wekk, she commented on how much bigger DD had got.

Feeling a bit better since I learned about the 4 month sleep regression. Not gaining huge amounts of weight I can cope with but the sleeping thing was making me believe I was leaving her hungry

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BlameItOnTheBogey · 26/04/2010 21:49

PS Goldensnitch; at the risk of sounding like a stalker, is that your dd on your profile? She is beautiful!

GoldenSnitch · 26/04/2010 21:50

Thanks Hairymelons I think teething could well be a factor - she's chewing anything she can get in her mouth and dribbling loads. Also has big red cheeks.

I ought to remember what a friend of mine (an extended BF-er) told me about breastfeeding too.

TYT

Trust your Tits

Cece - a lady at toddler group last week said I looked like I was being drained when I fed DD there last week. She said you could see the colour draining from my face as she fed...

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cece · 26/04/2010 21:50

My DC3 hase dropped from 98th centile and is nearly on the 50th now. The HV is aware of it and we are currenlty monitoring it.

Your HV sounds like she is making you anxious. Is there a special reason you get her weighed so often? Once a month is plenty surely?

GoldenSnitch · 26/04/2010 21:51

Yes Bogey, that's her. Quite a recent pic too - she doesn't look underfed does she

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GoldenSnitch · 26/04/2010 21:53

She'd like me to go more often I think cece but I've been going once a month mainly because I need the weight to fill in her baby book!

I think I'm just anxious because she's been suggesting top ups since DD was tiny. Seems to be her answer for everything.

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GoldenSnitch · 26/04/2010 21:54

Thanks for talking me down everyone. Was gettig all panicy

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BlameItOnTheBogey · 26/04/2010 21:54

Not at all! She looks super alert and adorable! Definitely not a hungry baby...

I do know how you are feeling though. I had a terrible time feeding my ds (now 2) and he lost so much weight that we ended up ff him. I've found it so hard with dd to stop stressing and worrying about history repeating itself.

hairymelons · 26/04/2010 21:55

GoldenSnitch, TrustYourTits would be amusing to have as a status!
And (also stalking) she is exceptionally beautiful. Huge blue eyes, aaaaah

hairymelons · 26/04/2010 21:57

HVs aren't always the best source of advice on bf. Some are wonderful, I know, but mine knew sod all about it. I'm sticking to MN and the helplines next time round.

GoldenSnitch · 26/04/2010 21:58

That's it exactly! I felt so awful when I was told I had to top up DS and BF has been going so much better this time, I'm heartbroken at the thought it might go wrong again. It's almost exactly the same age that it all went wrong with DS. At least DD is still gaining while DS stayed static for 6 weeks

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GoldenSnitch · 26/04/2010 22:01

You can all stalk as much as you like. I think she's a cutie but then I am biased

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GoldenSnitch · 26/04/2010 22:04

Changed my status - now all I ahve to do it hover over my name and I'll get a reminder

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JumpingJellyfish · 26/04/2010 22:13

My DD2 is being very similar to how you describe Golden. She seemed to have settled into a fairly regular pattern of feeding and waking only once in the night and then hit four months and ever since it's all gone to pot! She feeds sporadadically but quite frequently all day, and wakes 3 or 4 times at night hungry for more! Also she's started started to slow down her growth slightly- but my HV said this is very common in b'fed babies as they approach the age of starting solids, and wasn't at all concerned about it thankfully.

Although it is exhausting I trust that she knows what she needs best, and if that means frequent feeds day and night for a few weeks then so be it- definitely follow demand feeding! You are definitely giving her exactly what she needs, never fear! And try not to panic if her weight gain has slowed, as long as she's gained a little and is alert & happy you're doing great. I'm still hoping to hold out on solids until 6 months as like you we're atopic and DS has bad eczema, but in desperation last week I did try her on purees a few times- but she's not ready yet so now leaving it for a while (would like to try baby led weaning too). Now I've gone back to cosleeping to get a bit more rest at night and she just latches on as and when she needs. There'll be time later on to sort out her sleep pattern!!

Keep going- you're doing great xx

GoldenSnitch · 26/04/2010 22:25

I demand feed normally but decided this morning that I was going to do 3 hourly feeds to get more milk into her - then realised as I tried to do this that she actually feeds more often than that a lot of the time!!

DH gets fed up with being squished up if we co-sleep and we have no spare bed that I could kick him into so I lay with her to feed then put her back in her crib when she's done. (she feeds then goes straight back to sleep thankfully) He's been asking when she's going into her own room but I'm not moving her while were back to getting up 3 or 4 times a night. I need to give myself a little bit of a break!

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