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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Is it time to stop b'fing ??

13 replies

Tillyscoutsmum · 26/04/2010 17:27

DS is 17 weeks. He was 10lb 5oz born and has stayed on or above the 99th centile for weight since birth. I've been ebf'ing but have only ever really been able to feed from one side (I was exactly the same with DD).

DS has been perpetually grumpy since birth. He's a bit moany and has never really seemed "content". He feeds very regularly (2 hourly max) day and night and tends to have trouble sleeping more than 45 minutes without waking up

I have just been away on a hen weekend so had to leave him with a mixture of expressed milk and formula. I was away about 48 hours and he was the happiest he has ever been. No whingeing, all smiles, nice big long naps in the day and only waking once to feed in the night. I feel so stupid that his moaning for the last 4 months has been because he's bloody hungry.

I didn't want to stop yet. I wanted to do at least 6 months and probably any night feeds until they stopped but it just seems silly to carry on when I'm clearly not satisfying him

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AngryWasp · 26/04/2010 17:32

I'm sorry you're having a tough time. It would be sensible to speak to a real life breastfeeding councillor. 16-20 weeks is a notoriously difficult time, but once through it things are so much easier. It is a very common time to give up but it is a shame because after you are through it the real benefits of being a bfer (for the mother) really come into play.

Weight has nothing to do with it, and, provided you are feeding on demand you will be making enough for your baby. Sleep has nothing to do with it either.

hth

rubyslippers · 26/04/2010 17:34

i don't know how to explain what you describe

If he has stayed on his centile line then he must have been feeding well?

you have really done the hard part, but if you want to stop then the decision is yours - you've done really well to continue

FWIW, my DD has only just stopped feeding 3 hourly day and night so i feel your pain about the sleep

I wanted to stop so many times

when i got to around 18/19 weeks i knew i would make it to 6 months as i was so close

Tillyscoutsmum · 26/04/2010 17:53

He's gaining weight fine. He doesn't poo very often (once or twice a week maybe) and feeds really often but not for very long iyswim. He fusses a lot and just doesn't seem vert satisfied. I'd just put it down to his personality but the fact he was completely different when I wasn't feeding him makes me think I'm not producing enough for him.

Maybe I could mix feed ?

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chibi · 26/04/2010 18:05

I doubt he is hungry/not getting enough- he is as big as it is reasonable to be, certainly bigger than nearly every other baby his age!

Formula is not as easily digested as bm, and so it is normal that he wants to feed more often when you are there. Some of that is also him wanting to be close too.

Feeding every 2 hours isn't unusual at this age - both my children were like this until they were weaned, fwiw both were between the 9th and 2nd centile, so tiddlers.

I don't mean to sound dismissive, I know how it feels to worry that your child isn't getting enough. However from what you have said, he sounds like he is thriving. You don't need to stop bf (unless you want to)

hth

jemjabella · 26/04/2010 18:35

It's normal to feed that often and normal to poo weekly (or less often). If you weren't producing enough he wouldn't have maintained weight.

At the end of the day what you decide is up to you, but it sounds to me like you have a successful breastfeeding relationship.

FWIW, my little girl is 5 1/2 months and will feed hourly at home (although will go much bigger time gaps out and about). She knows what she likes and that is frequent snacking to maintain closeness, warmth, get the extra cuddles etc. I have at no point worried about my supply.

Tillyscoutsmum · 27/04/2010 12:32

Thanks all.

I honestly don't have a problem with how often he feeds (although I'd probably go for more than 2 consecutive hours sleep at night, if you twisted my arm ). I just worry that the grumpiness etc. is down to him being constantly a bit hungry and obviously I just want him to be happy.

I've also just got my first period, so not sure if that would effect my supply ?

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PacificDogwood · 27/04/2010 12:38

Tilly, I feel your pain as an EBFing mother of perpetually grumpy DS4 (and DS1 was the same...). I too suffer from pangs of insecurity that I am not giving him enough to make him 'happy'. And he is a tiddler = more guilt

Maybe your DS was more content when he was given bottles because the milk simply comes out quicker and easier? He might be not a particularly efficient BFer hence the frequent but short feeds of you? I am obviously just guessing here - I would second the advice to speak to an experienced BFing adviser from ie NCT or LLL. Maybe even let them observe a feed or 2.

AFAIK, periods to not affect supply, certainly I never noticed.

Ah, children, they test us, don't they?
Good luck

ShowOfHands · 27/04/2010 12:43

Periods can cause a dip in supply certainly. Mine came back when the Tank was 13 weeks (and still feeding at least 2hourly) and I always have a dip when I come on but it soon picks back up again.

I know you're feeling rotten. You spend weeks and weeks acquiescing to his every grizzle, you worry he's unhappy as he's a bit of a grizzler but you plod on, hoping it's going well and then something like this happens and it's a kick in the teeth. All that and trying your damndest, then you go away and he's all smiles and sleep.

Well, I don't think he's starving. He's like his big sister, he's a big baby and thriving. You know M is the same, stayed on the 99th or above for her life so far, despite being born on the 50th. Physically, it's obvious they're thriving.

He's probably quite a clever little chappie. He likes you inordinately. He likes the closeness, the cuddles, the comfort, the familiarity, the full tummy, the sound of your voice, your heartbeat. If that's what he likes best, then surely he'll settle for nothing less, why would you? And he knows you're there. He can see, smell, hear, sense you. When you nip away for a weekend he knows that you've left the building. I think he knew that that was the status quo for the weekend and there was nothing to ask for.

I know you've had a rough ride, sleep and feeding wise and you've done so marvellously. Just look at him, all 17tonnes of him. He's a gorgeous, thriving boy and you did that.

I can't tell you if you should mix feed. Certainly, I don't think he needs it but perhaps you might? I could never presume to tell you but I can tell you you're pretty wonderful.

Tillyscoutsmum · 27/04/2010 13:40

Thanks SOH

I think I'm just feeling a bit crap because I missed him so much whilst I was away (it really was too soon to be away from him but it was my best friend's hen do). He, on the hand, had a whale of a time

Thanks everyone. I'll keep on going and see how we get on

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PacificDogwood · 27/04/2010 14:54

SOH's post just made me well up . I blame the postnatal hormones...

NiallOfTheNineHostages · 27/04/2010 14:59

Does he sleep in your room? I think all mine could smell me when I was in the room and would wake accordingly!
( I do shower by the way!)

ReshapeWhileDamp · 27/04/2010 15:33

I don't know what to suggest, except to say that it sounds like you're doing fantastically well.

I'd second what SOH said - sometimes, babies will act up with those they feel most comfortable with. It's like they can be 'honest' without fear of rejection with us, whereas with other caregivers they might 'behave' a little more.

I'd say, follow your gut instincts. If you know you don't want to stop now, then don't! If he doesn't want to feed, he'll make it very obvious!

Tillyscoutsmum · 28/04/2010 16:33

Pacific - it made me well up too

Thanks again everyone. I'm feeling much more positive now

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