(Former) extended breatfeeders - please tell me some happy weaning stories (natural term or encouraging to wean)

[cleanandclothed]

DS is 18 months and the few people I know who were b/feeding over 1 year have now stopped. He feeds morning (as soon as he wakes) and bedtime (generally feeds to sleep). Maybe once a week if he is inconsolable by DH in the night I feed him then too.

He manages without it if for any reason I am not there, but especially in the evenings he is not happy about it, which makes me a bit reluctant to go out, and hard on DH/babysitter when I do.

I think, if I wanted to, I could (or someone could) distract him in the morning to do without it. In the evening I would first need to switch the timing to before bath, and then see if I could distract away from that.

At the moment I don't particularly want to stop feeding, but I wouldn't persuade him to feed if he didn't want to. But I am getting a bit stressed about what stopping will be like, because I read quite a few threads on here where (for example) the DC is feeding at 3yrs, and then is persuaded to stop but is (temporarily) sad about it. And I just think that the older he gets, the harder it will be to do.

Please help me calm down, or give me tips!

My DD1 stopped herself at about 18 months but I was starting to cut her down anyway as she was only on a bedtime feed at this point. I started off by only feeding her every other day for a week and then every third day for the following week and then added in another gap day for the following week and then after that she decided she no longer wanted it. I offered 3 times and she refused so that was that. I feel that I did my best for her and it was her choice. Cutting down gradually also helps your breasts adjust and its not too painful as suddenly stopping. Hope you find this helpful :-)

Have you got any kind of time scale or upper limit in mind, cleanandclothed? Because I'd say (just from what I've read and the few examples I know of) that the longer you wait the easier it gets. (But of course only if you are okay with waiting longer.)

My DS fed loads at night and was quite dependent on feeding to sleep and when he woke in the night until he was at least two and a half. I was finding that degree of attachment a bit claustrophobic so I gradually got him used to feeding before going to sleep and then not again until the morning, and he learned to manage pretty well if I was away for the evening or a night. Over time the feeds got shorter and my supply dwindled, and the feeding became less and less important to him. I did sometimes try to distract him/curtail feeds/put him off until the morning, but I left it to him to decide when to wean fully, and it happened soon after he turned four.

I found it easier to wait because it stopped being so existential for him, and we could talk about it together.

Hope that helps you come to a calm decision!

DD fed until 18 months, when it was just down to bedtime feed. Then we left her with my parents and went out for dinner and she didn't have a feed. She never asked after that so I felt relieved.

Fed DS until 21 months and the same - he was down to 2 feeds (am/pm) and DH was going on at me to stop. When he left for op tour, 3 days later, I just DS a story and said I didn't have any milk left. So instead, he had some warm hot chocolate and went to bed.
however, because he was nearly two, he remembered that he was breast fed and started asking for it and pulling my top up etc. Even now, he loves to smell my arms and cuddle my arms, as he did when he fed (he's now 5!). DH thinks it's weird that he remembers but I actually like the fact he knows how I fed him.

Both of mine cut down to morning and night in the week and sometimes a third time at weekends or holidays when I went back to work.

DS kept it up until I became pregnant with DD and throughout my first two trimesters. He then cut down over several weeks (partly through my encouraging him to cut down the duration of feeds, because it was getting very uncomfortable, and then he started skipping some feeds entirely) and eventually quit altogether at 3.2 when DD was born (he seemed to have decided that it was just for babies).

DD went through a big daddy's girl phase when she was around 18-20 months and mostly wanted DH at bedtime, which meant that she started dropping the evening feed. Once she'd done that the morning feed just seemed to drop away too and she stopped asking. I was surprised, after DS had breastfed until over three, that she didn't even make it to two. But I guess they really are all different...

I fed DS1 until he was nearly 4. He self-weaned when I was pregnant, although by that time he wasn't feeding every day. He's had one quick try since DS2 was born, just to check he was still allowed!

I stopped bf 21mo DS just 2 weeks ago. I was worried it would be hard on him but he's been fine.
I started encouraging him to cut back at about 14mo-did night weaning first then slowly started trying to distract him atother feed times.
If he really wanted to feed I didn't make a big deal out of it- just took it at his pace because he was very keen and seemed to need it a lot.
I'm 16 weeks pg and don't want to tandem feed so decided to try to stop altogether a couple of weeks ago. It's been easier with him being older because I've been able to talk to him about it- he got the concept of mama being 'poorly' when I was getting sore and he understands 'empty' so that was handy when explaining that I don't have any more milk.
I think it's easier with an 18 month plus child TBH. You can reason with/explain/bribe or whatever works!

my first child we both sort of stopped at 12 months. i thought we were lucky to go that long as i had to return to work when he was 3 months.

2nd child was 13 months old, he loved his food and his morning and evening feed, he just got frustrated and spat out boob and enjoyed his thumb more. so it was a more a morning cuddle from me , and him happily slurping on thumb.

3rd baby was 15 months old before he stopped, and due to allergies his skin /ezcema improved when i stopped, but on the negative side, then got many infections after that....

4th baby, fed until 2 1/3, when she wanted to and led more by her. kept up with morning and night feed, and sometimes midafternoon nap time, and gradually dropped one fed, until night time one was dropped at 2 1/3ys.

Thank you all. Greast to hear stories where it wwasn't a drama! WhyFrank - I am happy to carry on for longer - I just don't want to get to the point where I have had enough if it would be more difficult to stop then than now, if you see what I mean. But I think I will stop stressing at least until he is two, and go with the flow.

Like the pun CnC - 'go with the flow' lol!

dd self weaned at just under two. She had a chocolate milkshake (her first) when we were out somewhere & that night when she started to suckle she stopped and said "I want chocolate milk in there" pointing at my nork. Somehow she was just never as enthusiastic about breastfeeding again and gave up a few weeks later.