Sorry, slightly self indulgent ramble about extended BF.

[BertieBotts]

I went out for dinner last night with some friends from NCT classes. Our babies are 18-19 months old now so about half of us meet up weekly and the others we only see every couple of months when we meet up for a meal.

Happened to mention something in passing about breastfeeding, one of the other ladies I hadn't seen for a while said "Are you STILL breastfeeding?! Blimey, I couldn't think of anything worse, respect to you though!"

What is funny is that she has been training to run in the marathon tomorrow, and I could have said that I felt similar about that! I didn't though (only thought of it later). Then the conversation came down to when was I planning to stop, and I just gave her my standard answer, which is "Either when I get totally fed up with it or he stops by himself, whichever comes first."

I don't really know why I always come out with this response, except that it seems to counter the most common response which is "But what if he's still feeding at 5/10/20/etc?" - because tonight he finally fell asleep at 11.30 sitting on my lap cuddling into me, little heavy head resting on my chest, feeding and listening to me sing, and it was the most beautiful thing. And as long as he continues to fall asleep like that, even if it is once in a blue moon, how could I ever feel fed up with nursing him?

(Apologies if this is a bit twee for MN, just wanted to share. )

I feel the same. My ds is 22 months and shows no sign of stopping. To me, it's not odd at all, but others react with surprise, even ones I consider to be extended breastfeeders themselves, though I think they mostly stopped at around 14-16 months at the latest. I am very lucky in one respect, ds's grandma fed her third and last baby until almost 3 and is incredibly supportive, which makes a huge difference

It's difficult to continue to do something when you get reactions like this. But tbh after about 18 months people just assumed I'd stopped BFing my two, and I didn't bring it up because, well, it's a bit boring blabbering on about one's children all the time. If they'd asked I would not have lied, and indeed if the argument had come up I would have stated my case (EBF is fab). I BF my first until he was three and my second is 2.5 and still BFs daily, and I'm 12/40 with no3. It's not that I hide it as such; just that I rarely BF out of the house, and DS2 rarely asks, so...

Sounds lovely, and well done! My DD got fed up of b/f at nine months, and I wept buckets - I loved the almost psychic closeness we had - we still have it to some extent and we keep our skin skin contact through massages etc, so it's not too bad!!! Just different - things move on. You are right to relish it!

Hope your friend does well in her marathon running like that wouldn't be my cup of tea either!

I feel the same too. When someone has happily bf their baby for a year, why the sudden need to stop?

I mostly don't tell people now that I still bf dd (20 months) because they just get weirded out. I also don't tell them that she still sleeps in my bedroom, and most of the time in my bed. It seems the most natural and normal thing in the world to me - but people will judge. Even my dad makes faces when the sleeping arrangement subject arises, and he is one of the least judgemental person I know.

I'm still bf my gorgeous 19 month old DS and have absolutely no intention of stopping just yet. It seems so natural and so right - and he still gets a significant proportion of his daily nutrients from breastmilk.

Some of my friends say this sort of thing too. But the World Health Organisation recommends bf until at least 2 years of age.

And thank you for your lovely description of your DS falling asleep tomight - not twee - at least, I don't think so.

Aw, that is so lovely. I remember feeling exactly the same. I couldn't understand how anyone would get fed up of it.

Then I got pregnant when ds1 was 3.5yo and lo and behold, I was really fed up of it all of a sudden.

And annoyed too. It was getting harder to find a comfy position, there was no milk anyway - my rational side told me that he was still getting comfort from it, but it was annoying me that he was still nursing when there was nothing there. Then I broke my ankle at 32 weeks pregnant. I just wanted to curl up under the duvet and for everything to go away, but with all the upset, ds wanted to nurse even more than ever.

And don't get me started about how fed up I was nursing him after ds2 arrived!!

But, ds2 is now 8 weeks, things have settled down a good bit and I feel much better about him "still" nursing at 4.6yo.

Mighty handy for engorgement too

I have seen the look of horror on some of the new mothers' faces at LLL meetings when they hear of my older nursling, and I can only imagine that they think ds1 has been feeding newborn stylee for all this time. Now, that would be my idea of a nightmare.

I know what you mean about the "what if he's still feeding at X years?" question
In fact why not have it printed on a card and hand it to them afterwards saying "I knew you were going to say that"- psychic abilities
Right now, I am sick of ebf. But in general I'm all for it.

I had exactly the same from when DS was 6 months! I don't advertise the fact I still bf him at 26 months, but I'm honest if asked. One of the things I find difficult is to answer them honestly with my reasons, which sometimes people see as me being critical of them. Up until he was 2 I would say I wanted to following the WHO recommendations and now I say that it still has nutritional and emotional benefits for him, which I believe it does.

I'm 35 weeks pregnant now and finding it hard, but I hope it will pay dividends when DC2 arrives (although I'm expecting it to be a challenging first couple of months!).

I would just say that you should carry on for as long as you want and know that there are many other Mums who are doing the same.

I breastfed DS for almost exactly 2 years and 1 month and just stopped a week ago!

I miss some things about it (like getting him to go down for an afternoon nap - now the only weapon in my armoury is the car) and the sight of his fat little hand resting on my breast after he's gone to sleep but actually I'm feeling pretty good about stopping. And also am pregnant with already tender boobs, so probably just as well! DS is still asking after his 'buda' but I'm saying it's All Gone, and he gets that. (That's a lie too, there's still milk in there...) I'm a bit sad at denying him, but if I'd thought it would be a massive deal for him, we'd still be feeding.

I used to trot Bertie's line out every time someone was rude enough to express extreme surprise/distaste at my feeding choices. My MIL used to hint that she was worried about still feeding at 5 and I'd get there first and say 'how many school-aged children do you know who still breastfeed?' which was a bit of a cop-out, given I know a couple myself but she has no idea of natural-term bf and it would blow her mind. As far as she's concerned, it's a bit odd to want to do it past 4 months.

Thank you for all your lovely comments

Mawbroon yes I think that is it. People hear of breastfeeding an older child and imagine them latched on constantly like a newborn - but it's completely different.

I left DS with my mum the other night and he usually wakes and won't settle again at all until I get home, so I said she could try a bottle of cow's milk, he loved it and asked for it again tonight, but he had milk from me too AND he wouldn't settle in my bed, but went to sleep happily in his own I think he just loves milk in any form though, he practically lives off yoghurt...

Lovely lovely thread I'm tandem feeding DD1 (2.8) and DD2 (nearly 8 weeks) atm. It's intense and there are times when I want to fling them both away and hide but I wouldn't change it for anything. After another crazy day I relish the bedtime feed, where my two girls are tucked up with me and it's finally quiet

I stopped feeding DS2 when he was about 19 months old - there was no big deal or trauma - he asked for "beeboo", I said "no beeboo" he accepted it and that was that. I am pregnant with DC3, my milk had stopped, breasts tender, had thrush and TBH I just wanted a break from it all until the next round when DC3 is born.

A few months down the line, I am actually a bit sad. He was a bit tetchy and tired the other afternoon and had his hand down my top. I actually tried to latch him on just to see if he would but he wouldn't. It was like he'd forgotten how.

Thanks everyone for their contributions to this lovely thread. I'd been feeling really confused - bfing my 18 month old and loving it until a couple of weeks ago. Just found out I'm pregnant, and it hadn't occurred to me that this doesn't mean I have to stop. Dunno what we'll do yet. I might fancy a break before I start all over again, but my dd shows no sign of losing interest, and it's lovely while it lasts. Mind you, she won't touch cows milk....