So, how do I go about forcibly weaning a little boy who really doesn't want to give up his milkies?

[MaMight]

I have had enough.

Ds is very nearly 2.

How do I stop when he really, really doesn't want to?

At this stage my dh sent me away for a lovely weekend break on my own which I really enjoyed. Had to express a little down the sink to be comfortable, but that was ok. Dh said that ds was quite happy without me for the weekend, although did point at cleavage in magazine and say "mummy".

As soon as I got home ds jumped on my lap and bf as though I'd never been away.

He finally stopped altogether at age 4 or 5, forget which. By that time though, bf was very infrequent and sporadic.

Why are you so desperate to stop?

is it night feeding you want to stop, or all breastfeeding?

My DD is 7 months so much younger than your DS but i have been through a million phases of wanting to quit

DS is 2 and I'm thinking about stopping, not decided yet. Anyway, DD stopped at 18 months, my method was to give her a banana or a smoothie pouch every time she got that look in her eyes. She wasn't feeding at night by then, which made it easier. She was on one feed a day, random times, then it went to every other day, then every 3 days (for a week or two) then that was it. She never expressed interest again.

oh god, my DS was an absolute milk-monster at 2!

I could not sit down without him coming up and asking for boob...I had to make very strict rules about boob only being available in bed (we co-slept)

Then he turned 3, and we stopped cold turkey on his birthday. He cried that night, like his little heart was breaking but there was not one word asking for milk after that. He did carry on putting his hand down my shirt for comfort for a while though..

Could you wait a few more months?

The whole process took 2-3 months, but I can't remember if that includes from the start of the banana/smoothie method, or from when we tried to get down to once a day and not associated with any particular time (bedtime, naps etc).

TanteRose, that is ds exactly, too! My friend told me 'never to sit down, ever, at all'

But I cannot stand up all day!

I KNOW, Fliight!! It was 8 years ago, and I remember sort of standing and leaning on things, coz I was ready to drop from not sitting down

LOL. It's night time I fear I'll never crack, because he is tired then and can't sleep without it so the twice I briefly tried to rock him to sleep instead he became hysterical quickly and I had to give in

He won't have anything else as his comfort, that's the problem.

How old is he, Fliight?

(sorry for hijack, OP)

yes, sorry too OP!
He's going to be 3 in June.

well, as I said, my DS stopped cold turkey at 3. We did preparation, with talks about how his best buddy didn't need boob at night, and how he was a big boy now etc.

He was a trooper - but I couldn't have done it before that...even by a couple of months.

He had an intense few months of growing up - weaned from boob on his 3rd birthday, potty trained (in one day) at 3.3, and then out of family bed and into bunkbeds with his older sister at 3.5. He was fine.

just my experience

Quite inspired by that!!! Thankyou

All these things feel like they are on the precipice waiting to drop - iyswim.

Ho hum.

This is all very useful as I feel that DS at 2 years + is going to be completely different to DD at 18 months.

Eat asparagus! It worked for me (quite by chance) - ds was about 18 months, like you I was ready to stop didn't know how I was going to do it suddenly he decided he really didn't like the taste anymore - sort of spitting me out. Mentioned it to the doctor who asked if I'd been eating asparagus - which I had (in fairly large quantities). Worth a try maybe - especially as it's just coming into season!!

Can you get asparagus PILLS though. I don't like it that much either!

Completely by chance we had asparagus today. Ds chomped down a large buttery pile of the stuff and demanded more.

So... no secret strategies to stop breastfeeding a milk monster then? Excruciating cold turkey or continue with being a pair of boobs on legs for another year or so...?

Yeesh.

Nightfeeding I want to stop. A while back we realised that thanks to ds wanting to doze and feed all night no one in the family was getting enough sleep. We moved ds into his own room (shared with sis) and instigated the No Milkies Until Morning rule. Dh moved onto a mattress on the floor next to ds's bed so there would be someone there when he woke to feed, but 2 months later he was still waking and screaming for me and for milkies every night. Poor dh seems to have been on the mattress on the floor for ever. We've also just got back from holiday where ds had to sleep in with me and he is right back to feeding all night long. I'm knackered. Earlier on this evening he woke and dh tried to settle him - he screamed for me until he threw up.

I also desparately need to stop him tugging on my top and demanding to be fed everywhere we go. If we're having a quiet day at home he can go for ages between feeds. As soon as we leave the house and see anyone I have a straight choice: boobs out every 5 minutes or a furious, screaming toddler until it's time to go home.

I really feel that everything would improve if we just stopped the breastfeeding. I think that everyone in the family, and everyone's relationships are being affected by ds and his obsession with milkies. It affects everything we do, and every aspect of my life.

He knows if he kicks off you will give in

If you want to stop you will have to stand firm

I wonder if he is teething at present. It can seemingly go on for months. There might be a better window in a few weeks.

Agree with Fliight. There is very likely something else going on and this just isn't the best time for your ds. Could you put this on the back burner for a couple of weeks to get yourselves back on an even keel? You've just been on hols so different environment. Some children are just more sensitive to changes of any sort, physical or family stuff going on, or growth in some area and to give up on bfeeding then is just too much for them to cope with.
After giving it a fortnight or so, look at ways of stretching the tolerance when you're out. Interesting to note that you say he is more for the bfeeding when you leave the house..... do you have any ideas about why that might be? Getting to learn that may be the key to your solution, MaMight. All the best. Take heart. They all give up in the end, honest. Been there done that, x 3

gosh - this is exactly what i am worrying about. but if i don't sit down my ds (21mo) will pull me to sit down. and yell "more boobie" .

i am trying to chill and take it until at least after we have been on holiday in the summer but i think i am making excuses. ah well...