Wedding at 5-6 weeks old - breastfeeding - will it be a nightmare?

[holytoast]

Hi, its early days, as our daughter is 8 days old, but feeding is going ok - although we have a had really difficult few days - I an determined to persevere as long as I can anyway, at least until 6 weeks when a lot of friends have said that things tend to settle down a bit and get easier.

At the moment she is feeding every 2 hrs or so during the day, then almost constantly, the last two nights anyway, from about 8 till midnight (which is hell on the nips but apparently normal?) and then a couple more times in the night earlt hours and early morning - thing is, we have a wedding to go to at the end of may, she will be about 5 weeks old - is there any hope of actually lasting though the day? its a distance away, and I had to have a c section, so its all a bit up in the air - just wondering if anyone can support the opinion that things might have settled a bit by then, so I won't have to sit in a corner all evening feeding her, or come home suddenly (not easy as possibly not driving by then) because its all too much to try and sit through an evening do or a church ceremony with her desperate for the boob all the time, or try eating my posh dinner with one hand after DH has cut it up for me!

Also, am I crazy to consider this dress? I have got it in a larger size than normal, to ease access as it were, wear it with a thin vest underneath, and has buttons...www.bravissimo.com/products/clothing/dresses-and-skirts/bravissimo/bl61-details.aspx?ck=K%2f%2bibL3v ZIE%3d

Thanks! any other advice would be lovely too - such as having the odd drink whilst there, also I want to start expressing soon, not sure when I can do that? I can't get to any breastfeeding clinics at the moment as still not very mobile, so I am getting all the advice I can from the net. Midwife always seem too busy to really help when she visits, and dd is never actually feeding then anyway!

First of all congratulations

Secondly, yes that dress looks really nice, perhaps tean it up with a pashmina, you can use that to give you a little more coverage if you feel you need it.

Your body metabolises alcohol at approximately 1 unit per hour, so you should be okay with a couple of small glasses of champagne/wine, drunk after a feedm but I would definitely keep it to a minimum, perhaps just sticking to a drink for the toasts?

Your baby's feeding may settle down by the time of the wedding, but 5 weeks is still very tiny so may still be feeding every couple of hours. She certainly won't last all day! She will want to feed a lot during the day. Have you considered using a sling to pop her in? You can get ones you can breastfeed in!
You may well find that she may not feed as often as they'll be lots of people fighting to hold her I bet

Congratulations! Just wanted to say that I took dd1 to close friends' wedding at exactly a month old in the stuffiest Cambridge college of all time. (Actually, I take that back - I know one who wouldn't let children on the premises!) I wore a skirt and top if I remember correctly (dd1 is now doing A levels!)as I found it easier and less revealing to pull up than down.

Everyone was wonderful, made a huge fuss of her and we all had a lovely time.

The only dodgy moment was an "up the back" nappy in the middle of the photos!

You should be fine feeding in church - I have spent hours doing this with my four but you could ask if there is somewhere you can go if you need too if that makes you more comfortable.

Slings are wonderful!!

you;re not crazy at all. you'll be fine. but my honest opinion is that pulling clothing down to bf is something I, personally, always felts uncomfortable with. give it a go at home (eg with a vest top) and see how it feels, for you. you might find it entails, quite literally, getting your whole boob out and you might not like it. (nothing "wrong" with it - just depends on you and how you feel). I went to a wedding at the bf stage (in fact did it with both dds) and both times wore seperates. tucking baby up a loose fitting top was for me, much more comfy. I found a lovely outfit where the skirt and top matched so actually looked very much like a dress.

You will be fine - we took DS to a wedding when he was 5 weeks old and we really enjoyed the day.

A couple of tips.

Try and find out as much as you can about where you are going to be, where changing facilites etc are.

Get to the church early if you possibly can, and enlist the help of a verger or similar. I have always found them incredibly pleased to support a BFing Mum, and they will likely find you a spot where you could leap out if needed.

DH actually had DS in a baby carrier and he just went outside when he started crying, worked really well and there were a whole crowd of Dads outside doing the same!

Wear something that you can feed in and still sit at the table with everyone. Last thing you want is to have to rush off every time. I had an empire line dress with a loose v-neck, and a pashmina.

I recall DH feeding me my dinner

Have a great time!

Congratulations! And well done for bfing so far - the first two weeks are by far the hardest and

First of all, the cluster feeding is completely normal and will get better as she gets older - my DS is 11 weeks and still and a bigger feed than normal in the evening - an hourish instead of 10 min - but he then sleeps a lot longer so I don't mind

I personally would go to the wedding day bit, and then go home in the evening to clusterfeed in peace because I found it quite stressful to be out in the evening with a baby who just wanted to feed while lots of people wanted to cuddle him but that is just me and you may well be much more sociable and laidback

I like the dress and the pashmina is a fab idea. Have fun!

My baby is nearly 4 weeks and I'd be absolutely fine to go to the wedding but would probably leave the evening bit as he's also cluster feeding and pretty unsettled till about 9pm.

Congratulations!

I took DS to a wedding when he was 6 weeks old and dimly recall him feeding every couple of hours, but it was fine. We sat at the back of the registry office and I just stuck him on the boob whenever he made a noise He also slept a lot (we took a sling and his carseat, since had travelled up by car).

I bought a lovely bf dress from a site called Babes With Babies, which made things a lot easier. Think I had a couple of small alcoholic drinks, spaced between LOTS of cold fizzy water

To echo fiveweeksandcounting, DS did get very unsettled and unhappy by about 9pm due to all the noise and clatter. We were knackered anyway by then so were glad of a reason to get to bed!

Hope you have a good time

I took my bf ds1 to a wedding at 4 weeks old and it was fine, like others have said just stick them on if they squeak! There was a point in the day where he was a bit fractious (all the noise and people I think) and I parked myself in a quiet corner and the hotel people offered me a room which was very kind of them

I agree with other posters that, with a bit of practice to increase your confidence with BF, there's no reason why you shouldn't have a lovely time. Maybe practice BFing in the dress/pashmina beforehand - then just expect to tote her around the wedding, grabbing a chair whenever necessary and ordering others to fetch you drinks and food!

About the drinking - Turtle is right about metabolising alcohol but you need to have the drink while she is feeding not after, because it takes about an hour to get into your milk.

Expressing can be a real faff to master and works very differently from BF - so your best bet is to get BF completely nailed first. Also, expressing can cause problems with milk supply (e.g. blocked ducts), so the advice is usually to wait until your supply is established (at least 6 weeks).

It sounds like you are doing brilliantly so far - so long as you can keep getting help when you need it (e.g. for those sore nipples?) you will be fine!

You can have a few drinks while feeding, don't worry about 1 unit per hour! only a tiny tiny percentage ends up in the milk, you won't end up with a drunk baby and nor will they sleep through any better ;)
Have fun!

A ring sling is really easy to feed in, and you can get some beautiful dressy ones - look at these or these

My baby is 18 days old and I also have a wedding at the end of May. I had planned on wearing a dress but dont think that I have thought this through enough! I was hoping to call the hotel and ask that we have a room available to feed in. Although I dont mind feeding in public, I think that Id prefer a quiet place to escape to during some feeds, particularly the longer feeds. I plan to head home fairly early, maybe after the first dance. That way we will have enjoyed most of the day but not stay too late with the loud music and merry people . I'll have to start looking for an outfit now!

Wow, thanks, lots of great advice - I think I am fairly confident we will be ok, its just when in the middle of one of those cluster feeds (soo glad theres a name for it!) when she literally wont let me even go to the loo that I have been doubting it - we had friends over last night and I spent the whole evening sitting in our bedroom feeding her beacuse she just didn't stop, and seemed to be distracted by all the people - but then she is sleeping a good 3 hrs at a time in the night, so I guess thats pretty good for a newborn?
I think will give the dress a trial run, and a pashmina would work really well I think, will get one, and getting to the church early is a great idea. We will just have to see how it all goes I guess - just nice knowing other people think it gets easier too! Will leave the expressing for a while then too, it will be nice to be able to involve DH at some point, he feels really left out, and gets as distressed as I do when she is constantly crying for me to feed her all evening.

You will be fine. I went to a wedding when my 2nd DS was 6 weeks old.
I sat at the back of the church and fed him throughout the service.
He then was as good as gold throughout the day and just kept feeding on demand and I would go to a quiter area so not so on display. He even treated his parents to some quiet time during the meal as he slept for a couple of hours so we could eat and have a glass of wine!
I was in a wrap over dress and just used a Pashmina to cover up. Worked really well.

Ah holytoast - I remember that phase of DH feeling left out, very hard for everyone we found! There is a great book which DH found so helpful. All about how a Dad can find his niche, especially when the baby is being BF, and how best to support his wife/partner.

Please don't rush into expressing to involve your DH, there is so much else he can take the lead on that it's not worth messing with the feeding for a few weeks yet.

Best advice I can give you with the cluster feeding is to not try to fight it. Just resign yourself to spending your evenings feeding for the next few weeks

I was maid of honour at a wedding when DS2 was three weeks, it was fine -- there's nothing as portable as a breastfed newborn! I wore a dress I could slip the shoulder strap down from, with a shrug over the top.

The cluster feeding will probably come and go over the next few weeks but before you know it will have settled down.

Congrats and have a great time

I went to a wedding with ds when he was 8 weeks old and it was fine though I did feel a bit exposed in my wrap style dress whilst feeding but tbh that was because it was too short rather than anything boob related!

I wouldn't try to do anything in the church other than sit nearer the back and feed if your lo makes any noise. Much less fuss than trying to get your dh to take her out of the church and you being left inside worrying. I'm no churchgoer but I've seen lots of posts about people bf in church and certainly I got no negative comments and lots of positive ones about it.

I would def. practice feeding in public before the wedding, get your confidence up that so that you don't feel worried on the day.

I'd also say that I've been through the cluster feeding stage, have bf ds whilst having a wee, and it does get easier but ime feeling confident to bf whilst out and about is key to being happy with bf longer term.

If your DH is feeling left out, can you delegate bathtime to him? It's something that he can do every day if he wants to, if he gets in the bath with her, there is lots of skin to skin, and most babies love water (DS hated it, but was fine when he was in the bath with his Dad, so that was quite special for them.) AND it gives you half an hour to an hour in the evenings to yourself!