talk me through the gentlest possible night-weaning routine, pls

[phdlife]

tbh I don't really mind dd having a 3am feed, even if she is 12m. What's driving me potty is that when she's teething (which is going on and on and on) she wants to feed a couple of times a night. How to handle?

I know, I go through phases where it's all manageable and then others (teething!) when I think oh dear christ I need to DO something!

1. Wait it out, through gritted teeth this too shall pass, feed lying down, co-sleep if that's an option, side car cot, mattress on floor, whatever it takes

1. Google Jay Gordon- he does a gentle-ish sleep program for bf babies

1. No cry sleep solution? Book by Elizabeth Pantley, I read it but it takes ages (which is why it's gentle) and by the time I'd got round to trying the techniques DS improved enough to not bother.

Wish I possessed the magic wand, I'd wave it for you... and me

I night weaned DS at 7 months. Before that he was waking for a feed every 2 hours, sometimes less. So I got the least amount of time he'd go, which was 1 hour and added half an hour a night to it over the course of a few weeks. If he woke before the time I decided I'd feed him, DP went in and cuddled/settled until it was time for me to go in.

When we were down to one feed a night, I timed it. It was 8 minutes. Then over the course of a week or two, I reduced the feed by 1 minute. So for the first night timed it and took him off after 7 minutes then 6 then 5 etc.

When we got down to 1 minute DP just went in and settled him. I knew by that time it was comfort he was after, not milk. I've never given him milk in the night since. He occasionally wakes up, especially when he's got teeth issues, but one of us will just go in and give him a cuddle and he usually goes back off. When comforting him we don't usually pick him up, just put our hands on his tummy and give him a little kiss on the cheek.

It took ages, but it was worth it and there were very few tears.

Hope that helps...

Good luck...

I night weaned DD at 13 months, she was feeding 3 or four times a night.

She about bit my nipple off and it hurt like hell to feed her which gave an added incentive!

I was fairly certain she was comfort feeding and wasn't hungry.

When she woke up I took her downstairs for a bit, then took her back upstairs and put her back to bed. I did offer her milk in a cup but she never had any.

The first night she reluctantly played for 20 mins, the second night she just sat on my knee, the third night she went back to sleep on me and on the fifth night she didn't wake up
She's slept through most nights since (2 months)

shirleycat I like that one... you should write a book!

I always have different rules for teething/sickness and just return to letting him feed and we co-sleep. It's a major PITA of course and it teething DOES seem to go on for ever, so my sympathies.

When well he goes back to his own cot (still in our room)and no night feeds with little protest. I think he's worked out the rules. It only took us about two nights of the "no feeds until 5am" and "daddy will give you cuddles if you need them" rules for him to sleep through, so I think he was ready (almost 11months)developmentally as well, which I think is a key point in sleep. I guess I'm saying
-get DH involved
-work out your rules
-stick to them
-don't bother when teething or unwell
-make sure that you think he's developmentally ready for a tougher approach

thanks all

think there is more going on - she also moans for a quarter of an hour before farting so sometimes I think I'm reflexively jamming a boob in her mouth which does, at least, quiet her.

yes, yes I know, I'm probably making the problem worse, but I'm too feckin' tired to be figuring out what the actual issue is at midnight. And 1am. and 2am. And 3am, if it's a night like last night.

plus she's been having night rages (wtf is that all about?!) - throwing massive screaming tantrums in her sleep, which only get worse if dh takes her (or if I do the wrong thing such as, oh, I don't know, pick her up too soon, or fail to pick her up quickly enough). Which does not exactly fill me with enthusiasm for any proposed changes.

think I might have to wait this one out a little while...

oh dear phd!
DD is also really windy, especially at night which I always thoiught was just her, but I wonder whether there is something in it - feeding lying down, not sitting up to burp...

hmm I suppose that's something - only I wonder why it'd be really kicking off now (12m) when it wasn't really an issue before? Has your dd always been like it?

mum and mil are both giving me stick about it too - mil thinks dd doesn't need feeding (sigh), mum thinks I eat too many beans . But ds was exactly the same at this age, I just think I have ... um, intense dc's