not a breast v's formula debate, i just need practical advice

[addictedisinthesecondtrimester]

hi i'm due in november, its along way off yet, but i'm starting to think about how i want to feed my baby. i know breast is best, but the thing is i'm scared. is this normal?

i've read quite a few threads on here who describe bf as toe curling pain, i've read about cracked nipples and baby drinking blood, and that all scares me. i know it sounds selfish but so far this hasnt been an easy pregnancy and because of health problem i have i know it will get worse. towards the end of the pregnancy i'll be in crippling pain due to dislocating joints and maybe even end up in a wheelchair. and the thought of putting my self through 'toe curling pain' just makes me want to cry especially as i know there is an alternative.

so i guess i want to know if this fear is normal and is bf really that painful and difficult?

please dont flame me, i'm really not after a breast is best debate, i know all that, i just really want reassurance

It isn't necessarily painful at all - it is worth spending as much time with breast feeding counsellors as you like to make sure your latch is right. Once that's sorted you're away.

Even if you do have problems, they rarely last very long so likely to be much better within a few days. Once the latch is right, the nipple will heal if it is sore so that is the key really.

It might be worth you trying to get to a la leche group meeting or a session with a breast feeding counsellor - baby cafe? before your baby arrives so you're as prepared as possible.

It really is worth it though! I had a few days of discomfort feeding DS, but now I don't need to wake up to feed him so much better having 8 hours sleep a night than actually having to get out of bed and make bottles up!

I think the reason you see threads like this is because people post when they have a problem

there are also lots of people who feed really successfully

Breastfeeding for me was not painful and difficult once we had the latch right (which took about 3 days and a great MW)

after that DD fed amazingly well - no pain, no cracked nipples

I am still feeding her and she is nearly 7 months old

getting a good attachment was key to me

this book is fab

also, Bestfeeding (not sure who the author is) is another excellent book

I'm no expert as have only BF one baby so far, but in my experience it wasn't painful or uncomfortable at all. I think it is fairly uncommon to experience those problems, with often milk supply/exhaustion being the issue. It is a good idea to know where to find advice/help if you need it, but I really wouldn't worry unnecessarily about it. BF is always a choice anyway, and if exclusive BF doesn't work for you, then you shouldn't feel pressured into it or compelled to continue if it is affecting you adversely.

Hey addicted. I would second everything azazello has said.

I bf my DD til a week or 2 before her 1st birthday, and am currently bf my 4month old twin boys.

Yes, I had some pain with DD, but that's because I wasn't confident about the latch. Second time round, I know what I'm doing and it's been much more comfortable all round, even with 2 babies munching!

When your DC is born spend some time with the MW getting your latch sorted, and you shouldn't have pain.

It really is very rewarding, watching your baby grow, knowing that it's all down to you. Pretty amazing, really.

And I have to agree, much less hassle than faffing about with bottles (I really should express more so my 2 can get used to a bottle, so that I could get a night out, but it's just so much hassle; I'm lazy!!)

It all depends and there's no reason for you to panic.
With ds bf was super easy from the start, no pain etc, with dd- yes, I had a few weeks of pain when she was latching on that would ease in a matter of seconds. I didn't put enough Lansinoh on my nipples, though, I'm sure that would have helped. She's 14 m now and still (painlessly)bf.
Even if you do suffer from cracked nipples etc, it is fairly easy to treat them with ointment, and you can ask in the hospital that they make sure your baby's latch is correct.

I was really lucky - she latched properly almost immediately and it was the easiest thing in the world.

I got mastitis (which is damn sore) once but was easily sorted with a quick visit to the gp's. Try not to worry too much, you may have an easy time of it like I did, but if it doesn't work for you then you can use formula.

You have choices, and personally I think the most important thing is that you are as relaxed as possible in the beginning so that you can enjoy your baby rather than torturing yourself with the right or wrong way to do something. No matter what you do you will have a healthy child, don't put too much pressure on yourself.

the thing you have to remember is no-one comes online to post "bfing is wonderful, pain free and enjoyable" - they come on to post about problems.

It's a bit like reading the relationship board and trying to decide whether to get a boyfriend based on that .

For me there was slight tenderness when I first started bfing my first baby, and after that it was extremely easy and problem free - I've now breastfed 2 babies and can honestly say it's been one of the loveliest and easiest parts of parenthood!

But if you start going around telling people "I love breastfeeding and it feels really nice" you sound like a loon. So I don't.

Just try it and see - you might take to it like a duck to water.

X-post with ruby & slumber.

Excellent advice from them too!

Good luck OP, congratulations on your pregnancy. I hope your health problems don't make things too difficult for you.

Also, just a thought, if you are on meds (& need to stay on them post-delivery) check with your GP if it's safe to bf.

Hello, don't worry, you tend to get more balanced opinions on this part of the board anyway.

Firstly, pain while breastfeeding like you describe reading about is rare. And secondly, if you do experience pain, this stage only covers the first few days, sometimes weeks, but once that is over with, it gets easy and comfortable. I have had absolutely no pain while feeding since DS was a couple of weeks old, and he is 18 months now.

What I experienced (and I had a pretty typical experience, I am told) was mild pain for the first 10 seconds of a feed, as DS latched on, this is normal and is just because you are getting used to a new thing. (But "toughening your nipples up" before birth won't help!) Breastfeeding also stimulates contractions like period pains for the first few days, this is all helping your uterus go down though (and I think you would have them anyway, but not sure)

I found that for this pain for the first 10 seconds, if I counted to 10 then it was easily manageable. The feed was comfortable after that.

Bleeding nipples, pain all through a feed, or pain so bad it makes you shout or cry are not normal, but luckily the most common cause by far of this kind of pain/damage is bad latch which can be fixed with support. The most important thing to remember, is if it hurts past the first 10 seconds, seek help - the bad pain and nipple damage is caused by carrying on when something isn't right in the first place.

HTH I was told once by someone that breastfeeding is in general harder than bottlefeeding for the first few weeks, but after that it is infinitely easier - shame you can't bottlefeed for 6 weeks and then switch to breast, hey? Think of it as just laying the foundation for breastfeeding later on, and don't be afraid to ask for help if there is anything you are not sure about.

I was scared of breastfeeding my boy who's 1 week old now, because I got so sick of it with my 3yo, I ended up hating breastfeeding as he used it as a control thing and it was very uncomfortable to feed him when I fell pregnant.
ANYWAY
It all just went fine like a duck to water.
It should be fine. Latch is crucial, bad latching can cause lots of pain.
Get lots of support when you start and it should be a good experience

I would say definately give it a try as you might be pleasantly suprised...

I has DD1 abroad and was never given any info on BFing, why it might be a good idea which didnt help the fact that i thought i wanted to FF, i didnt know anyone that BF apart from my mother who BF us but moaned about it and a MIL who FF hers.So i FF as i didnt know any different.

DD2 i knew i wanted to give it ago but went into it blind really,no knowledge, not knowing anything but having heard that "breast is best" still no info on it,why it was a good idea, what problems might arise etc.
DD2 fed at birth,latch seemed fine etc....still was unsure.
When left alone i tried to feed again and baby wouldn´t go on, was screaming and fussing and i was getting distressed and i thought i needed to satisfy my baby asap so i asked for a bottle and it was given and that was that.looking back i am at my naivety.I remember my MW saying "you can do both if you want" then walking out the room! no info or anything....
I think it is is something you need to be passionate about to keep up IMO

It is only since then that i realised i had made a choice but not an informed choice and i wish wish wish i had persevered with it and done my homework.

I think im just trying to say that if you give BF a whirl then you will be able to make a decision and i dont think taking into account your health etc it would be a selfish decision ATALL should you decide not to.You need to be healthy too to care for your child but also BF might work well for you.

Do your research etc,read up as much as poss and talk to people,have the support there ready through groups etc so at least you know that when the time comes the choice you make will be the right one and an informed one.

best of luck!

i am a firm believer of happy mummy=happy

Oh yes and someone mentioned above, but I will repeat it: LANSINOH! Get a tube of this and apply after every feed if you have even a slight discomfort, it is so soothing and wonderful and healing, and you don't have to wipe it off before the next feed. It is expensive, but worth it.

I know exactely what you mean. Before I had DS, I planned on breast feeding from the start, but by about 8 months pregnant I started to think again after all I heard was poor latch, cracked nipples etc.
But I went with it, I thought I might as well give it a go, I had nothing to loose by trying. DS took to breast straight away with no issues from him. That kind of spured me on, as I thought "he's really good at it, I should try too"
Well that was 4 months ago and I'm still BFing.

So for abit of encouragement, this is what I love about BFing:
*its so easy to just feed. No making up bottle with screaming hungry baby in background.
*its a lovely way to bond. I love the quiet moments when we cuddle up and feed
*BFing is supposed to burn calouries. I'm already lighter then I was pre babv, with no real effort!
*watching DS grow. He follows 75th centile all just on the milk I make for him (so proud of my little man!)

thank you so much for all your replies, i think i really do want to give it ago but am just scared of pain! lol. but 10 seconds doesnt sound all that bad.

i will defiantly look at breastfeeding counselors and see if i can get help and advice before baby is born as well as after

yes, please don't assume itwill hurt, i have bf two dcs, some discomfort when the 1st latched initially, but nothing at all really. Still feeding him at 3y, and feeding dd, who's 7m. You don't hear that there are plenty of people who have easy, straightforward experiences

Well, I have experienced the toe curling pain etc (although I won't go into details here - honest!) and I didn't manage to b'feed dd1 and 2 past a few weeks.

HOWEVER....

I am due to have dc3 in July, and am still going to try to b'feed, even though I know how bad it can be (but isn't always, I have loads of friends who have b'fed happily and without too much trouble), and fingers crossed, this time I will succeed.

I would second what others are saying, get some Lanisoh in for sore nipples, find out about local b'feeding councillor and clinic, and if you are unsure about anything in the early stages of b'feeding, shout for help from the MWs at the hospital, phone a bfc, definitely ask for help on Mumsnet and most of all DON'T PANIC.

Good luck

It can hurt in the first week or so, but after you've got going it's fine, and a real pleasure not to be missed. What everyone says about checking your latch and using lansinoh I completely agree with. And it important not to let your baby use you as a dummy for hours on end or your nipples can get really sore. Learn to recognise when the baby has had enough milk and is just being sucky. If necessary use a dummy in those early weeks, once breastfeeding is established, (although not everyone will agree with that.)

Congrats!

second the Lansinoh cream - have some in your hospital bag. Get as much of the area around the nipple into the babys mouth when he/she is latching on - will have no pain at all. If it hurts put your little finger in the babys mouth to break the stuction & start again.

I know exactly what you mean I was so frightened, even though I decided a long way in advance that I wanted to breastfeed.

I will be honest - I did have a lot of pain within the first two weeks. My nipples cracked and they did bleed despite being told we had a perfect latch going on. I remember crying at certain times whilst I was feeding, and dreading putting him to the breast, knowing the first few seconds were going to bloody well hurt.

However. It was the first two weeks that hurt. And it was only the first few seconds that hurt. And one morning - I think DS was about 12 days old - I was feeding and all of a sudden I realised it just didn't hurt anymore. DS is now 5 months and we are still feeding, quite happily.

Lansinoh cream is a God-send and make sure you get nice breastpads (the Johnson ones are the best disposable ones I have used). Also the way I got through the latching on whilst it was hurting was to bite into a marshmellow at the same time. Sounds silly but it did work!!

Good luck, and remember there are plenty of people on here and in RL that would be more than willing to help you in every possible way.

It isn't always horrible, I am BFing my second one (after feediny first for 18mths) and I am a little tired as I am the only one who can feed him and that is our only downside.

No pain, he latches well, feeds regularly etc - just like his big brother. Yes, I am lucky, but I am by no means unusual.

As others have said, you don't really hear about things going well, because they are going normally and there isn't really much to talk about.

Another Lansinoh recommendation here, I put it on when he finishes with each breast and immediately after showers etc.

The only time I had any real pain was when my baby was tucked in enough(to my belly with hers) to get a good latch,.

It is amazing, there is nothing else quite like it.

wasn't tucked in enough

Would have to disagree that letting the baby comfort suck leads to sore nipples - I think it probably can, but it's more likely that if the baby is just comfort sucking, their latch can get a bit lazy and hence it becomes uncomfortable. It's not that likely to happen though - so I wouldn't consciously try to avoid it, unless it becomes a problem if that makes sense.