Any used Dr. Jay Gordon's method for night weaning? I have some questions.

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My dd2 is 17 months and still feeding every few hours at night.

We are co-sleeping and Dr. Gordon's methods seem most suited to us.

I'm not sure how to start though. I feed dd to sleep around 7.30 and she usually wakes again around 10.30 - 11 and I lift her from bed if I am not ready to go myself, feed her and she settles back to a deep sleep straight away. This all fits in with the sleep plan up to 11pm.

However after 11 Dr. Gordon recommends feeding when they wake but putting down awake.

When my dd looks for a feed though I am not sure she is really awake.

She cries out and if I feed her she doesn't even open her eyes. If I don't feed her she wakes up screaming.

I am not sure how to go about the night weaning in this case. Anyone any ideas?

Also has anyone night weaned when also sharing the room with another child. DD1 who is almost 4 still sleeps in our room most nights and I think it would really upset her if dd2 is upset in the night.

I am exhausted from all the broken nights and need to do something.

Any ideas welcome.

I sort of did it the Jay Gordon way (I think). It did involve DS1 crying a bit when I said there was no milk but I would give him a cuddle instead. He wasn't too happy about it to start with but the crying didn't last long though. I have a rough rule that I won't feed him before 5am ish (was 4am), after that I will do because otherwise he may be awake and wanting to play. After that time I can probably get another hour or so asleep in bed!

DS1 was sleeping through (co-sleeping) before I had DS2 then we had a massive regression and it was pretty awful as he would wake every time DS2 woke in the night and then DS1 would wake DS2 and so on. The only way I got back on track was to move him into his own room and be consistent about going to him if he wakes in the night instead of him coming into us. He is now sleeping much better (we all are).

The only way to get him into his own room was to buy him a new bed, with bedding he had chosen and make a big fuss of how cosy it was.

I sort of did it, and didn't really keep a record of what I did so am a bit hazy. But I do remember setting myself a time window when I would refuse, not sure if that worked think that just meant huge upset. I did have some nights when I was just hugely fed up so refused and that was huge upset but she would always go to sleep eventually.

What I do remember doing (and this is back to september last year) is reducing the period of feeds. So I did about 1 weeks where I counted to twenty, 2 days when counted to 15, 6 weekish when counted to 10 (this included a weeks holiday and major upsets with builders starting work on a big project so felt like not a good time to start refusing) and then refusing and that def helped and worked relatively painlessly. Then for a while I did feed her on her initial wake up (usually dead on a hour after falling asleep) to get back to sleep, but then stopped that. I just looked all this up in my diary and it seems a long time ago

Now we feed to sleep, and then I will feed again if she wakes up very quickly (say in first half hour), after that it's cuddles and a song (a different song from the feed to sleep song).

It has definately worked. Most nights she sleeps through. I also refuse feeds in am til about 6.30 (alarm goes 7). That gets more grumbling at the moment because of the light mornings. Need thicker curtains. But it isn't "i need a snuggle" distress IYSWIM.

I chose a bad time - starting playgroup in the sept, hol and then builders, but I reached the point where I had to do it mentally. Now much happier, dd is getting more sleep, it is helping her with the nap dropping thing, she seems to be maturing in the getting to sleep business which is much quicker now (about 15 mins). She is in bed at 7.15 now if no nap and since a recent holiday has got out of the initial wake up after an hour groove which is nice. But she will go back to it, it's a little habit since she was born!

Soon our new bedroom will be ready for us, and the plan is to take dd with us but in her own bed next to our bed, while we do up our old room for her and then she will move into that. I expect it will be gradual!

Sorry so long!

Just marking my place. I am not cosleeping but still feeding 16mo in the night and would like to night wean. He will go back to sleep with replace dummy/lie him down if DH does it.

For me? No chance, he headbutts my chest, pats me and says Dinner He has a tantrum if I try to put him back down without a feed.

DH not here most nights due to work. Last night was best night for ages, asleep 8.15 ish, little feed 10pmish, woke for feed 3ish then up 7.15 ish. Would love to drop that 3am feed.

Thanks everyone.

I'm really struggling. She seems to be teething a bit at the moment and is on and off the boob all night.

She keeps biting me too and I am getting sore. Also the biting is making me very nervous. She has a full mouth of teeth and could do a lot of damage.

When I try to break the latch these days she sometimes bites down to be allowed to stay on.

I am keeping her busy during the day but if I sit down at all she is constantly pulling at my clothes.

We went for a walk on Sunday through woods and two elderly ladies who were walking stopped and talked to her. She is going through a shy phase and got upset.

We had to walk back to the car with her screeching and pulling my shirt the whole way.

It is about so much more than food for her.

I am today. It has become such a battle.

Sorry you are having a bad time - I've been there, they want/need it so much just when you feel you can't do it anymore.

Try not to think about the big picture at the moment, while she is teething just relax if you can (I know it is hard), and get through each day at a time.

Taking away her breastfeeds is a big thing for her, and if she is feeling poorly or in pain, it is an even bigger thing. If you can find it in you to put yourself in her place it might help you understand her reaction. She needs to be in a happy place before you can gently cut things down. Have you tried talking to her about it - how it is making you tired, even at her age I think she would take some of that in.

I hope this doesn't come across as patronising or too hard on you. I have been there honest!

Thanks Downey.

I know I probably sound very selfish in my posts. The funny thing is I am usually a strong advocate of breastfeeding and really enjoyed feeding my dds.

I haven't met anyone in RL who has breastfed a toddler. I am in Ireland so different system than UK and very low BF numbers where I live - I spoke to my HV about a problem I was having with breastfeeding when dd was 8 months and it was obvious that she was very unfamiliar with BF past 6 months and wasn't much help so not sure where to turn now.

I emailed a breastfeeding counsellor and waiting on a reply.

I only fed dd1 to 11 months and she self-weaned at that stage so this is all new to me.

You don't sound selfish, you sound like someone who is having a hard time with a dd who is having a hard time with teething, which makes you have an even more hard time - it is a vicous circle I think. Sorry I've gone blank on how to spell!

I got a book on how to wean older than babies. www.amazon.co.uk/Nursing-Mothers-Guide-Weaning-Breastfeeding/dp/155832352X/ref=sr_1_13?ie=UTF8&s=boo ks&qid=1272467339&sr=1-13. It's a bit hippyish, and a bit smug in places, but I did actually find it really useful.

Whenever I felt like I had to wean, I'd read the section on weaning at whatever age, and then read the bit on how fantastic it is that you're still feeding at whatever age, and think "oh well, I can do it a bit longer" and it just put me in a different state mentally. I can't promise it will work like that for everyone.

It is fantastic that you have provided what your dd needs up til now. Whatever you decide to do, you can't take that away!

I'm glad you've contacted a counsellor - hopefully somebody more qualified than me will be able to help you. Is there Laleche League in Ireland? They are supposed to be very good on extended bf.

I'm in the UK and I'm the only one I know who breastfed past 12ish months. And still going at 4! I never thought I would be.

Thanks for listening Downy. I got an email from La Leche League and they are arranging someone for me to speak to.

I think I have just hit a stumbling block and if I get through this I feel I would like to go on feeding til dd decides it is time to stop.

Sorry I disappeared - had a conference yesterday. I think you're right - if you get through this you will be fine for a while - there will be other stumbling blocks along the way, of course tho'. I guess the clever bit is recognising them for what they are.

And when you do get through it and more relaxed about it, deciding whether you do want to end it gently, or are happy to carry on until your dd is older, or wants to end it herself.

I'm sure the counsellor will be helpful - sometimes just talking to someone else is helpful, hearing the words come out of your mouth rather than round and round inside your head!