Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Flip

Original poster

Am I normal?Breastfeeding question

17 replies

glittermama · 20/04/2010 20:00

Just wanted to ask other breastfeeding mums this. My 15 week old DD is exclusively breastfed.

I haven't been out on a night out since she was born, and don't want to - basically because I don't want to leave her. I don't want to leave her with a bottle because I think she'll wonder why I'm not feeding her, and get confused.I just have this goal of getting to six months and knowing that she has been exclusively breastfed.I feel it's my job to be with her - I really don't mind sacrificing a night out for her sake.

I think many of my friends who've I told I can't come out to think I'm weird and don't understand why I can't leave her. I've actually made up excuses saying she won't take a bottle so I can't leave her. Truth is I just don't want to, is this normal? Once she's six months, I will hopefully go out more. I just don't feel ready to leave her yet.

OP posts:

choufleur · 20/04/2010 20:02

if you don't want to leave her don't. how long does she go between feeds? could you just go out for a few hours?

ShowOfHands · 20/04/2010 20:05

Oh gosh, she's a baby. If you don't want to leave her, don't. It's normal and fine. I was pushed into going out for a leisurely meal when dd was 12 weeks, 10 miles away from home. I hated it. Honestly, it just wasn't worth it.

You sound lovely and normal.

elvislives · 20/04/2010 20:06

If you don't want to leave her, don't. I actually find it odd when people are desperate to "get back to normal" and leave their brand new baby with all and sundry- plenty of time for that later on.

HeadFairy · 20/04/2010 20:09

You're totally normal, esp if it's your first. I couldn't bear anyone holding my ds let alone feeding him for the first few months.

I also wonder why there's this rush to get back to normal. Your previous life is no longer your "normal". I hate all this pressure to look great, have a fab social life within minutes of having a baby. Just stay at home and enjoy doing the most amazing thing; feeding and bringing up your baby.

lotster · 20/04/2010 20:09

If you don't want to leave her because it makes you happy to be with her constantly, then don't make yourself unhappy to conform to what anythone else wants you to do.

I'm pretty sure she doesn't want you to leave her either (!) so enjoy each other, the baby phase is so short in the scheme of things.

It's all about what makes life happy for you both, so if another mum is miserable staying in every night and wants to express a bottle so she can be herself again for a few hours, then that's the right thing to do too.

Enjoy your girl

Lastyearsmodel · 20/04/2010 20:13

You are utterly, wonderfully normal.

What is this rush some women have to get away from their babies?

Follow your instincts... and if your friends want to see you, they can bring a bottle round and sit in with you.

choufleur · 20/04/2010 20:17

do you friends who want you to go out have children? maybe they just don't realise. I didn't want to go out when DS was little, but that was also partly as I was so bloody tired

Iggi999 · 20/04/2010 20:24

Try not to put pressure on yourself either way - no reason to go out if you don't want to, but no-one will give you a prize for staying with her 24/7 for the magic 6 months. That can turn into a stress of it's own. (Did for me anyway, had 6 hours away from DS when he was 6 months and realised it was the longest I'd been away since he was born - that was a low point for me).
You might find she gets herself into a routine in a bit that allows you to have a few hours in the evening - a trip to a cafe with a book might be nicer than an evening in the pub with a gang of friends! But I would make sure you don't cut yourself off from friends entirely - we do need them.

whittywan · 20/04/2010 20:28

You are SO normal. I am exactly like this. My DS is (almost) 18weeks and I have still never left him for longer than 2 and 1/2 hrs (and that was with his Dad in a situation where I was not allowed to take him with me). We have been out to dinner with friend, mind, but have just taken him with. We usually arrange to meet at a time after him bed time routine (around 8) and then do the routine, put him in the car and meet friends. I find that most times he just stays asleep during dinner and on the way home.

Iggi999 · 20/04/2010 20:38

One other thing I would say if that, if there's a DP around, leaving them alone together is a good way to help them bond and show the daddy that yes, he can cope. I know I was always interfering with how he did things, leaving them together for an hour or so each week gives them some confidence.

whomovedmychocolate · 20/04/2010 20:41

I did not spend more than 30 minutes away from DD for the first 14 months or so. In fact had I not got pregnant with DS and had to go into hospital frequently, this may never have changed. So yes you are normal, normal, normal. And that is wonderful for you.

StealthPolarBear · 20/04/2010 20:41

I'm the same. I left my 7mo DD the other week for 2 hours to go for a job interview - that's the first time I've left her or wanted to.
DS was given the odd bottle by DH but I didn't go out during this time, it was just something he enjoyed doing. Apart from a hospital stay at 16weeks, I don't think I left him for more than about an hour until he was almost a year, but he was a very clingy baby

bluecardi · 20/04/2010 20:41

Sounds fine glittermama. I do the same with my dd. I don't want to leave her. My dh is fine with this.

hellymelly · 20/04/2010 20:48

I didn't want to leave mine,so I didn't.I have only just started going out sometimes in the evening for an hour or two (book group etc!)when they are asleep with Dh at home,and my younger dd is nearly three.Some of my friends were a bit shocked,but I just really wanted to be near my baby and it felt unnatural to be away from her.I am an older mother,I've had plenty of evenings out,but the time with a small baby is not time you can get back.It's a lovely thing that you are enjoying your baba.

MrsKitty · 20/04/2010 20:49

Normal. Don't worry about it. I've felt that way about both of my children. In fact DD is 7 months now and I've still not been out, nor do I feel a need to go out. We've got theatre tickets booked for the end of May...

I also make excuses as to why I can't go out - most of my friends don't understand, but don't have kids yet anyway so can't really be expected to I suppose.

honeydragon · 20/04/2010 21:24

Me too, total homebird my dd is 4 months and i don't think anyone else has actually even changed her nappy yet! My ds is 7 next month and my dh and I have been out together alone once since he was born -- we are not sad or obsessed we had children to enjoy them, and we really do - you are perfectly normal enjoy it, when I eventually surfaced back onto the social seen to go out with girlfriends I think my ds was about 3! If they are really good friends they will be happy to have you back when you are ready, or come to you for the evening.

Original poster

glittermama · 20/04/2010 21:26

Thanks ladies, you have all made me feel much better and more normal! So glad I am not the only one who wants to stay with her baby the whole time.x

OP posts:

Flip

Swipe left for the next trending thread