Coping with feeding newborn and looking after toddler...help!

[lola0109]

Hi,

I am currently breastfeeding DD2 who is now 2 weeks old. I have 19mo DD1 at home too.

DP is back to work tomorrow, shifts not 9-5 job, and I have the problem that DD2 feeds constantly from about 7am till 11am then from about 4/5pm til 10pm. These are obviously times that DD1 needs attention too.

Tonight DD1 was quite distressed, think she is just a bit overwhelmed now at all the visitors etc. So she only wanted me to take her to bed. As I was trying to settle her DP came in with DD2 screaming for a feed. DD1 then went mental, had a screaming tantrum and didn't want DP or DD2 in her room. (she is not the sort to usually take tantrums) Managed to settle her and ended up feeding DD2 sitting on the floor with DD1 sobbing on my knee!

I'm just wondering if anyone has any advice on either getting DD2 into a better feeding routine or how to help DD1 in coping with this new arrangement. I do have books, toys, dvds etc to keep DD1 occupied while I feed and during the day she is great, but I have no idea how I'll ever get out the house!

I know it's only been two weeks and this could all settle down but any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Sorry for the ramble but I'm quite tired

Aaw you poor thing, have you got a sling you could feed baby in while you get on with looking after dd1?

Don't have a sling but think I'll invest in one.

DD2 was 9lbs 6oz and is quite long, so not sure if this would suit, would she be too big? (or am I being silly) I'm still also recovering from major PPH from after the birth and am struggling with lifting heavy things so again not sure this would be suitable. Although again I might just be being stupid.

But I'll give it a try! Thanks JATGB

Well, I don't know much about lifting with regards to PPH, I think if you're recovering from one then you're going to have to take things easy anyway, but if you had a sling at least you'd have a hand or two free for dd1.

Must be very hard though - I am 3 or 4 weeks off expecting dc2 and I have a 2.8 yr old ds, I'm planning on coping using the sling, and lots of bribery!

Mine are 16 months apart. The oldest now 20 months.

If you try to leave the house before 11am with your DD2 in the buggy will she then fall asleep instead of needing to be fed? Would this give you some time with DD1?

We all get up in the morning at stupid o clock with the toddler, and are all washed, breakfasted and dressed and ready to leave the house by 8.30, when DH leaves. Would this work for you? It's the actually getting us all out the house that's hard, so I don't try to do it on my own.

I can then manage the two on their own for the morning as we will head somewhere easy like a park or supermarket. If the baby wakes up then yes, I sometimes fed her in the sling (she was big too) although at 4 months now this doesn't work any more.

We come home, the toddler naps and the baby spends this two hours feeding constantly (less so now, but certainly when she was younger).

The toddler wakes, has lunch, and watches TV while I try to get up all ready to go out again.

In the afternoons we often do things like visit my in-laws (I know, I am very lucky here!), mooch around a shopping centre or go to the park again.

Dinner is a mess still, the toddler gets cornflakes in front of the TV, but well, we'll sort that one out in it's own time. Also stays in front of the TV while I bath the baby, then the baby sits in a vibrating bouncy chair while I bath the toddler and put him to bed. Try to find something like this that will allow you to put the baby down for a few minutes.

Sometimes yes, while the toddler is trying to go to sleep I feed the baby. The toddler has just about got used to this now. It also helped that the toddler was transitioning to one nap when the baby was young so was knackered by bedtime and went to sleep really quickly.

Well, that's how I cope. Hope some of these ideas are useful.

Hi look at the moby slings that you can use to breastfeed. I have just bought one & they are great

Hi, it does get easier, my little one is now 17 weeks and my middle one is 20 months. She just got used to me breast feeding after a while and now sits next to me on the sofa with her doll. I do use bribery and Cbeebies!!

It's extremely hard at the beginning.
Your DD is obviously trying to adjust to her new sibling. My son took a while to come round but after he noticed that it was better for his brother to be fed then listen to the screams he soon started requesting his brother be fed to keep him quiet!

Cbeebies was used a lot but I also tried to think of some fun crafty things to do when his baby brother slept.

I had a C-section so could not use a sling for first few weeks as irritated my scar but I did use a Baby bjorn bouncy chair. Found it a life saver as can be rocked easily with one foot whilst multi-tasking.

It does get easier I promise!

Stickerbooks are your friend. I have a 20 month gap. Each time I fed DS (which was often) the stickerbook came out and DD and I did stickering (one handedly on my part).

As soon as the baby nods off, focus fully on your older child. Make sure you have a long running project (stickers, learning numbers etc.) that you can use to heap praise on her.

It gets better by about six months btw!

Hi all, thank for the replies.

The last few days have been ok as she has been feeding hourly in the morning so managing to get us all ready and out if needs, she is just feeding in clusters at night, luckily DP hasn't had a shift yet that has meant he is away at bedtime but I think when he does DD1 will just need to learn to cope with me putting her to bed and feeding DD2.

I LOVE the stickerbook idea though, DD1 would really enjoy that, off to the various £ shops tomorrow then!

Glad to hear it does get easier!