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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

upset that im no longer brestfeeding, anyone else felt like this?

14 replies

tiggz · 13/04/2010 19:13

Hi my dd is only nearly 3weeks and i breastfed for 2weeks and then for a couple days with top ups now just formula as shes so hungry it was impossible to keep up with her, she was on beast for an hour once attached right and suckling the whole time and still had a whole bottle afterwards, i just couldnt keep up it was sooo tireing, but i did lov it, the bond, the closness, but because i gave topups my breast milk is now dwindled down, im soo sad, iv cried about it, i feel like a failure and i cant bare to think about it, i know all this probably sounds dramatic but has anyone else felt like this? i just keep thinking formula is also good for baby, and she seems to like it, it fills her and i get more sleep. but it dosent stop me missing breast feeding!!! Shes that hungry next week im going to have to get milk for hungry babies!! I definately wouldnt have been able to keep up with her i would have been feeding her all day!
please tell me im not alone!

sorry about the essay.

OP posts:
AliGrylls · 13/04/2010 19:19

Why can't you do mixed feeding?

DebiNewberry · 13/04/2010 19:19

So sorry it didn't go well and you feel sad about it...

I'm not sure if at 4 weeks she would be old enough for hungry baby milk - I think that is a new name for follow on milk - which i think isn't so digestible for little babies? Have you spoken to your HV about that one? Am sure somebody with more ff experience will be on to help soon.

tiggz · 13/04/2010 19:40

aligrylls because my brest milk is slowly but surly dwindling
bebinewberry thankyou...yh the aptamil has hungry baby milk which is suitable from birth.

OP posts:
BertieBotts · 13/04/2010 20:19

Tiggz, if you want to mixed feed you will find lots of support and advice on how to increase your milk supply on here, do ask if you want to know.

Hungry baby milk is supposedly suitable from birth, but it does not contain any extra calories, it's just harder for the baby to digest so they will feel fuller for longer, there isn't much research on whether this is a good thing or not so it's up to you but the safest bet is probably to stick with the first stage milk and just give her bigger bottles or feed more often.

Whether you go to mixed feeding or fully FF, don't feel bad - you have done really well to breastfeed your baby for two weeks. Every feed, every drop of breastmilk she gets will have made a difference and you have done all that so far, you should be proud of what you have achieved.

everythingiseverything · 13/04/2010 20:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Minshu · 13/04/2010 20:34

I thought I was going to have to stop BF a little while ago and was more gutted than I could believe, so you are not alone. It's a very personal thing and I can't rationally explain why I was so devastated at the prospect of stopping (formula is not the work of the devil). I managed to carry on by mix-feeding.

Would love to give you a hug, but I believe that's just not the done thing on MN...

JiminyCricket · 13/04/2010 20:47

Yes, I felt very sad when I stopped...three days later I started again. That was further down the road though. If you would like advice about starting again, do ring a breastfeeding helpline for advice, your supply will prob build up again if you let her on the boob again (frequently, lots of skin to skin contact). But if you think you have made the right decision for you, then be sad, but think about all the other great Mum things and cuddles and snuggly bottle feeds you will have, and enjoy this time as much as you can - happy time with Mum best thing for her. All the best to both of you

BellasYummyMummy · 14/04/2010 09:41

Hi tiggz, i posted a similar thread a few days ago. I stopped BFing after only 5 days due to bleeding/cracked nipples, and stopped expressing by 10 days. Since then I felt so horribly guilty, and i missed the bond i had with my daughter (when i wasnt curling my toes!). My daughter is now a month old.

Since then I did a bit of research and found that I can relactate and get my supply back up so i can give it another go. You are in a much better position than me as you BF for longer, but if you want to still BF your daughter you can!
I started pumping 3 days ago, every 2-3 hours and at least once in the night, plus putting my daughter to me before she fed and i went from having just one drop of milk to now nearly a teaspoon. I dont know if i will ever get my full supply back, but i am positive with the results i've seen so far.
It is exhausting though, i dont know if you have any other children, i have a 23 month old and i am finding it hard juggling feeding my baby, pumping, and taking care of her but i know it will be worth it in the long run.
There is loads of info on the net about starting BFing again, and how to increase your milk supply, and contact the la leche league, someone got back to me within 2 days with a very helpful email full of advice and support.
Support is essential, my DH has been really supportive until the other day he let it slip he thought i was doing this just for me, but i couldnt explain to him how i was feeling, what this meant to me.
I wish you luck in whatever you decide to do. Bottle isnt bad at all, my other daughter was on the bottle from 2 weeks, and she is the happiest little girl i've ever seen- so dont beat yourself up over it if you decide to stick with the bottle. Remember to just enjoy them while they are this little as it goes too fast, i missed out on my other daughter when she was tiny as i was so distressed about BFing.
Big hugs, you're not alone.

tiggz · 15/04/2010 19:43

Thankyou everyone. If I was to express to build my supply up, I know to do it every 2 to 3 hours but how long for? X x

OP posts:
Longtalljosie · 15/04/2010 19:46

Tiggz - to build up your supply your best bet is to order a box set of DVDs from Amazon, put plenty of food and drink within arms reach, plonk yourself on the sofa all day and let the baby just have constant access to your boobs!

TheProvincialLady · 15/04/2010 19:48

Have you rung one of the helplines? A BF counsellor could help you

a) find out whether your DD breast feeds effectively or whether she feeds for a long time because she is not getting as much as she should
b) increase your milk supply and drop the top ups/formula
c) advise on mixed feeding
d) talk to you about your feelings if you decide to give up BF

It would be worth your while I am sure.

sparklycheerymummy · 15/04/2010 20:39

Dp what you need to do to allow you to enjoy your baby..... if bf makes you miserable then ff. I bf ds and at 17 weeks am just doing one or two feeds a day as ds is soooooooooo hungry i cant keep up so i can empathise! my ds had a dummy to help satisfy his suckling needs a little!

Minshu · 15/04/2010 21:43

I replied to your other thread - mixed feeding is sustainable - actually, my DD doesn't take much formula any more (won't take much in the way of solids either this week, little monkey) so is almost 100% BF at 6 1/2 months in spite of being about 60% formula at 3 months old.

fluffyguineapigs · 16/04/2010 16:49

Hi Tiggz so sorry to hear that you are having problems, but there is no reason to give up breast feeding unless you want to, and it is possible to mix feed for a while then go back to 100% breast.

A combination of very severe pnd and a very hungry baby meant we started supplementing at 3 weeks as my ds never seemed to be satisfied, however there was no problem with supply etc - he was just a very hungry baby - and some babies are.

I would caution though, as you have found out that it can be a bit of a slippery slope to ff as bf is a supply and demand system - the more you give ff, the less you will produce etc. And my ds at 5 weeks started to prefer the bottle and would fuss at the breast and refuse to feed because the bottle was easier.

It is possible to go back to full bf though - at one stage my son was having 60% ff and we gradually reduced the formula over a few weeks. Lots of skin to skin, shared baths and offering him the breast whenever, wherever.
We also kept him on the newborn teat size so he would have to work hard on the bottle as he would on the breast. When he got to about 9 weeks he started rejecting the bottle.

We persevered with the bottle for two weeks as my dh really wanted to carry on giving just one bottle at night as he enjoyed the bonding experience, while I could get some shut eye; but it became a battle of wills with my ds taking less and less and getting more distressed - he would start crying when he saw us with a bottle - from the other side of the room! As it was my son's choice we went back to full bf which we continued. I don't regret the ff at all, you do what's best for you and your baby in your own particular circumstances. I am very glad that he made the choice to go back to full bf -but would have been happy with my dh just doing one night feed too!

It would have helped if more people hsd reassured me that some babies just feed and feed and that's normal - most evenings ds would feed four hours at a stretch as he was using me as food and dummy and would fall asleep, then if you tried moving him, resume full time sucking.At 5 weeks we tried introducing a dummy but he never really took to them until much later.

I just gave up on the clock watching and decided to try and enjoy it as I had the luxury of no other children. I would pop him on to the nursing cushion (firm surface my brest friend) turn the tv on, and surf the internet with one hand. For hours.

If you have a hungry baby it is tempting to reach for the ff as you assume that your body is not producing enough milk or it's not satisfying enough. But if your getting enough wet and dirty nappies and they're putting on weight, then it's generally enough. Some babies are more hungry than others or less efficient feeders (my super efficient friend's baby has only ever fed for 5 mins at at time but is huge and on the 98th percentile).

The feeding forever stage doesn't last that long. It really does get better imo after 6 weeks, and a lot better after 12.

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