Stopping bf at a year - tips please

goldenpig · 2010-04-12T09:02:52+00:00

Hi ladies On second baby, but my son stopped by himself at one, so was very easy to do. I need tips about the night feeds (one or two a night) - did you just do rocking back to sleep? I want to avoid DD getting into bed with us, if at all poss. All advice greatly appreciated, ta

CastleInTheSky · 12/04/2010 10:48

My health visitor advised to cut down on the daytime feeds first, but am struggling to do so.

I am pretty much in your situation, my son gave up at 10 months old (silly me felt a bit rejected and blue, but now realize how great that was). My daughter is just over a year and still loving her boob - especially at night (one or two). I tried sending in my husband to do the rocking back to sleep thing but that only wound her up which resulted in also waking my DS - aargh!

Hope you get lots of helpful tips as I will be watching closely!

Original poster

goldenpig · 12/04/2010 10:55

Thanks Castle - appreciate it. My girl is one at the end of the month. I felt sad when DS stopped too, silly with hindsight, eh?

My two share, so always a risk of waking. If I don't feed her she will only settle if she gets in our bed, which is not a good long-term solution (for us, I know many do it).

Am expressing into a cup for some of the day ones, tis the night that is tricky.

How many milk feeds does she take in a day, and have you started the cow's yet?

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shell96 · 12/04/2010 11:49

Hi.

Sorry nothing helpful to add but will keep an eye on this post as I am in the same situation too. My DS is 11 months and I had hoped to stop BFing altogether by the time he was a year but its looking pretty unlikely so far!

At the moment he gets a BF in the morning when he gets up and then again before bed. During the day he gets cows milk. I recently tried stopping his morning feed and getting him to have cows milk instead (tried formula too) but he just wont drink much that way. We have tried every kind of bottle/teat/cup we can. He drinks out of a baby sports bottle type thing during the day but never huge amounts.

I'm not sure if I should just stop the morning feed and offer him cows milk more often during the day? He is at his grans during the day while i work so if i didnt feed him in the morning and he didnt drink during the day he wouldnt be getting much liquid at all.

Original poster

goldenpig · 12/04/2010 12:58

It's hard to say, Shell. My DS was on cups of cow's from 50 weeks (to be precise!) and it worked fine. He also never woke in the night again once stopped bf (apart from when ill etc).

Let's all keep each other posted about how this is going,a nd very best of luck

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muttimalzwei · 13/04/2010 04:14

I'm interested in this too. My son really seems to need it still at 12 months wheareas my daughter gave up at 9 months.

Original poster

goldenpig · 14/04/2010 09:16

Hi ladies

How you all getting on? Attempted to do a rock back to sleep at 3 o'clock this morning, in preparation for stopping. DD awake for an hour and fifteen. Feel asleep in our arms, then kicked off as soon as she was put in cot.

Eventually fed her and she was asleep in 10 mins.

Is there any other way to settle babies????

Help!

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CastleInTheSky · 14/04/2010 10:39

No progress from my side I'm afraid. DD just does not really like cows milk and I would rather not go down the route of formula. Seems such an unecessary expense.

At the moment I don't feel like pushing it though, because little one is a bit snotty and teething. Once that tooth is through will try again in earnest!

A bit depressing that everybody seems to be in the same boat. Surely somebody must have succeeded? LOL

tunnocksteacake · 14/04/2010 13:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Longtalljosie · 14/04/2010 16:22

Goldenpig - I'm nowhere near this stage (DD is 8 months) but at night I sometimes hold her in the breastfeeding position and give her a dummy, and she falls back to sleep. She doesn't really "do" dummies but it works in that scenario - worth a go?

Original poster

goldenpig · 14/04/2010 17:18

Thanks ladies. DD is two weeks off one and I gave her cow's in a cup today (Born Free, a random one I found, very freeflowing, but she takes it) and she took it.

Now feeling really bad about stopping. Strange what a love/hate relationship I've had with feeding.

Am going to do cow's in the day and breast at night then hope to fade that out in next few weeks.

Feel really emotional, hard to explain, but sure you all know what I mean here.

Good luck, and do keep sharing. We will get there

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Elasticwoman · 16/04/2010 18:02

I weaned both my girls at a year and they must both have been ready because there was no problem. My son was more keen to continue so I just let him. If he woke in the night once he was a toddler he came into bed with us - I didn't even have to get up.

Sorry that's no help with weaning. Just wanted to make the point that it is possible to let a child keep feeding until they are ready to give up, without creating any great difficulty for yourself. Eventually my son was ready and I do not regret letting him choose the time. Gradually he wanted bf less and less often and in the end he just wanted it in moments of stress - if he fell and hurt himself, or had a bad dream.

If a child is waking several times in the night, weaning is not necessarily the answer to the problem.

My son also had a nasty gastric bug when he was 20 months old. He reached a temperature of 40 degrees, was floppy and at his worst point couldn't keep anything down at all. But there were times during his illness when he had nothing but breastmilk and I was very happy that it was still available.

Original poster

goldenpig · 17/04/2010 10:44

Thanks Elastic. I appreciate it. My girl is OK on cow's in the day from a cup, but needs a 3am or so feed. I think you're right, and will just keep feeding at bedtime and in middle of the night.

Last night we tried to lull and settle her, but it took two hours and then I fed her. She was in the bed, but wide awake.

The hardest bit is the perception that babies of this age 'should' not wake up, isn't it?

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CastleInTheSky · 17/04/2010 13:48

Hi Goldenpig, how are you getting on? I started a discussion on extended breastfeeding as I am not having a problem with the daytime feeds at all. Was advised to google Jay Gordon on changing the sleeping pattern / night time weaning. Sounds like very sensible advise and I will put it to action once that blasted second tooth is through (wink). Will let you know how I am getting on.

I know what you mean about feeling bad about giving up. It is hard, isn't it? Breastfeeding is so lovely in so many ways and such a pain at the same time. Oh well, it's just a phase and I am sure I won't regret a day of bf once I am an empty-nester and can get as much sleep as I ever wanted!

Original poster

goldenpig · 17/04/2010 20:24

Hi Castle

Well, we have cut out the day feeds, and boobs are readjusting, after a few expressings. Doing bedtime and am now going to feed straight away at any nighttime wakenings.

I had it so easy with my son, but all babies are so different.

Thanks for the website reference, will search that.

My girl has eight teeth and it is quite a biting experience. That's why I'd quite like to call it a day. Got through the biting with both children, but uurrgghhh

Good luck

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shell96 · 18/04/2010 09:57

This morning I cut out DSs morning feed and just gave him his brekkie instead. So far so good... just going to offer him cows milk more during the day. Before we only used to give it after meals/snacks.

Over the last couple of weeks he has been taking shorter and shorter bedtime feeds until last night he hardly had anything so might be coming off it hemself? Actually I was a bit worrie dabout how little he had but still had a good wet nappy this morning so not as bothered now.

Will see how it goes anyway.

Original poster

goldenpig · 19/04/2010 07:39

Hi Shell

Glad things are going well. Sounds a bit like us, we on the cow's in the day, and just feed at bed and once in night. Makes life easier, now just need to sort that waking.

Does your DS wake up?

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shell96 · 21/04/2010 15:57

No he doesnt wake. He has slept right through since 7 weeks except a period around 6/7 months when he began waking and wanting fed a couple of times a night. We just put him on three solid meals a day (he was on two before that) and he went back to sleeping all night.

hoff · 23/04/2010 08:13

Hi, I'm trying to drop the last feed, bedtime one in my 18mo ds. first feed to go were the during the night ones at 10months. it was summer & hot so just offered water, he got the idea in a couple of nights with little complaint. around a year replaced daytime feeds with cows mile -which he loves. dropped breakfast feed at 1.3, that was a bit tricky -give him a greek yogurt as soon as he wakes up. now he seems to have twigged what i'm up to and is defending his nighttime feed fiercely!!! i'm thinking of keeping him on the one bf for a bit, see if he looses interest.
i also feel so conflicted about it. loved bfing but would like to have my body back for a bit before we ttc dc2.

Whelk · 23/04/2010 10:05

My dd is also 12 months and I am looking to stop bf-ing soon. I gradually replaced day time feeds with cups of (hydrolysed- she is allergic to dairy) formula.

I stopped night feeds when she was 8 months which was fairly easy.

She loves solid food and I make sure she has a lot of calcium rich food (soya, mackerel, sardines, spinach etc)

So her day goes:
waking - breakfast and cup of formula
snack
lunch
pm snack and cup of fomula
tea
bedtime - breastfeed

I'm looking to replace the last feed with formula in the next few weeks. I feel really torn about it. I think I will be really emotional about it but on the other hand I have been avoiding all dairy and eggs because of her allergies and its so hard (although good practice for her life ahead and good for losing the baby weight

Whelk · 23/04/2010 10:12

I have just re-read the thread and see you are mostly talking about night feeds. I'm sure I will be shot down for saying this but I think babies need to be gently shown by their parents that the night time isn't for feeding (the same as you show them everything else)

With both of mine, once I was sure they were getting adequate milk and calories in the day we just settled both our dds with cuddles, putting her in bed on me until she was asleep and then putting her back in the cot.

After 2 hard nights neither of them woke for milk again.

This makes me sound really mean but I suppose because it was reasonably easy I felt they could cope. When they are ill they have had night feeds (not the 3 year old tho!!) and I don't leave them to cry

shell96 · 28/04/2010 13:21

Yeah I'm lucky not to have to worry about any night time feeds. All DS is getting at the moment is a bedtime feed and during the day he gets offered cows milk regularly, although he's not great at drinking much of it.

I'm worried about stopping his bedtime BF as I know there is no way he will accept a bottle of cows milk (or formula - tried that too) so am considering giving him a bowl of porridge or something before bed. At the moment he gets most of his cows milk each day in his breakfast cereal so at least he would be getting a good bit more if he had some at night too.

Not sure if an extra meal is a good habit to get into though...

Original poster

goldenpig · 03/05/2010 15:16

Hi all

Sorry, not updated for a bit. DD is now on bedtime only, stopped the night feeds a week ago, and guess what, she has slept for 4 out of 6 nights, all night long!

Think am going to stop the bed feed today or this week, as she is just sucking herself to sleep and then clamping the nipple and not letting go. Very, very sore, and have gone thru' the biting thing with both my babies.

So I think it will be rocking to sleep now, with cow's from cup before bedtime. This is what we did with DS, and once he had stopped bf, he rarely woke again.

BF is grand and I fully support it, but am going to be quite high when it's all over. Such a big commitment, and such hard work. But worth it, so worth it

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Original poster

goldenpig · 04/05/2010 07:57

Didn't bf at bedtime (plenty of cow's), but fed at midnight. I felt bad so gave in, not sure if she was hungry or not. So hard to know.

Will try again this eve.

How you all getting on?

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babber · 12/05/2010 21:05

Hi there - been watching this thread as have been umming and aahing about night weaning DS (nearly 16m) for weeks now... just hasn't been the right time to tke the plunge. However, i am pinning my hopes on him sleeping through once i stop BF during the night. Currently i feed him to sleep, he then wakes usually around the time i goto bed and i end up taking him into bed with me as it can be hard to settle him back into his cot. On a good night he'll wake once or twice for a quick feed after that, on a bad night he's wriggling and latching on and off all night.
I really really feel that me and dp both need to start having some decent sleep again, not to mention having our bed back!
what i was wondering goldenpig, is if you used the jay gordon method when you say you stopped the night feeds... I have been planning on trying this out... just wondering how easy/hard it has been for you to refuse the night feeds. feel so mixed about it all... on one hand want my sleep back, on the other hand feel bad about not giving DS what he wants!
sorry if this is a hijack but really interested in how others are dealing with this...

Original poster

goldenpig · 14/05/2010 22:11

Hi Babber

Sorry, not been on here for a while. No, never heard of Jay Gordon. I just gradually stopped the night feeds, mostly with the help of DD who eased off a bit.

I think you have to build up confidence that your DS is getting enough calories/calcium in the day and either rock back to sleep or let him in. My DD gets in a lot, but hey ho, can't have it all.

I always said I would stop night feeds at one, as my son (who self-weaned then) never got any, so I feel it's not needed. Loads would say otherwise, it's very personal I guess.

Does DS take cow's in the day?

I wish you well, and will keep in touch

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