DD2 is 7 weeks and I am really losing the will to breastfeed - remind me why it's still important at this stage?

[somethinganything]

OK, here goes: I have low milk supply and I know lots of people think they have low milk supply so in case anyone is wondering if I really do and am just being paranoid, I really do. Was completely determined to EBF DD2 (DD1 was mixfed for same reasons) but despite feeding her 24/7 after various trips to hospital and weight loss etc I was told to give her formula top-ups. She's now 7 weeks old and thriving but having loved breastfeeding when that's all I was doing I now find it a real chore. I have to time each feed (30mins on breast, then bottle) and it takes a good hour if not more so a good 5 hours of the day, when I also have a toddler to look after, are spent feeding. Also one breast hardly seems to produce anything so DD fusses and cries every time she's on there (I always put her there first to try to boost supply on that side).

At night-time it's a killer because it takes so long and often she's so knackered after the breastfeed that she falls asleep and it unwakeable but then wakes up 30 mins later ravenous. In the meantime I more or less just lie awake waiting for her to wake up again.

The only thing keeping me going for now is:
a) I continued for 5 months with DD1 so I think I might feel guilty if I stop earlier
b) she's probably my last child and despite all the hassle I do feel a bit misty-eyed about the idea of never breastfeeding again. But then again I do partly think I'm just doing it for me because it surely doesn't make all that much difference to DD given that 90% of her calories are coming from formula

Also, I just feel a bit silly when I'm out and about going through all the rigmarole of breastfeeding modestly and then whipping out a big bottle afterwards.

So I just wanted to hear your thoughts/experiences. Anyone else here mix-fed? How long did you stick it out? I just feel like juggling a toddler and a newborn is tricky enough without doubling (or at least adding a third onto) the amount of time you spend feeding.

Thanks, all

Hi Something

My baby is now 9months old, and I only stopped BF a month ago after a shaky start like yours.

My milk supply didn't come in for days and days after the birth (induction, emcs, morphine, etc all delaying it), so by the time he got home he was exclusively formula fed and wouldn't latch on. Anyway, gradually I increased the boob and decreased the bottle until I could do just boob for most feeds.

For ages I thought 'just one more day', but each day it got gradually better and less time-consuming. I started topping up with formula again when he was about 5 months in a vain hope to get him to sleep through the night, and gradually the boob supply diminished.

So... I guess I'm saying don't give up just yet. Your baby's probably getting more than you think.

Hi something, how is it going now? Am mildly more positive about breastfeeding as am sleeping slightly better with full boobs (though dd sleeps even better so still not synced up!) and also the realisation that 10 mins on the boob is all it takes to soothe a baby when all else has failed in middle of night and she is fed, changed, rocked and still won't stop screaming or go back to sleep! Quite like the boobs having that power though I may live to regret it if it results in me not being able to be apart from her for too long!
She does seem more satisfied at boobs now and sometimes I suspect her top up isn't that necessary but paranoia keeps me with it as don't want her to lose weight again! Off to get her weighed tommorrow and to speak to bfeeding counsellor to try and work out another masterplan.

Dd is 10weeks today so 2 weeks for me to hit next goal of 12 weeks (then will possibly look to 14 weeks etc)

Sorry - not been able to get on MN for a couple of days.

JenEm Thanks v much for your post. Really helpful to hear about your experience and made me feel a bit better about everything.

There's just so much guilt tied up with it all. Had DD weighed on Friday and the health visitor gave me a lecture about not overfeeding her and started muttering about childhood obesity etc - it makes me sooo angry. I gave her the damn formula on medical advice because she was losing so much weight. And because she's moved from 25th to almost 50th percentile I'm now told I'm overfeeding her. I'm absolutely sure I'm not because she was born 75th percentile for length and she was born early so I reckon she is just catching up weight-wise. Also, she just doesn't look like an overfed baby - she's not even chubby. I'm sure the HV was just churning out the party line but it's left me with this niggling guilt about introducing formula even though I had absolutely no choice.

In the meantime, DD is less and less keen to breastfeed - she'll do it in the night and for the first two feeds of the day but goes all rigid and pulls away when I try to breastfeed in the afternoon. So I'm expressing each evening and giving her the milk as one of her top-ups. All makes me a bit sad but I'm going to do as much as I can but basically let her take the lead - if she decides to stop that's the decision made for me. And I'll just try to feel positive about all the other parenting stuff I can do in the time I would have spent breastfeeding.

Thandeka really glad it's going better for you. I reckon you'll make it to 6 months no prob You're right about BF sometimes being a great way to calm a frantic baby. Worked wonders with DD1, DD2 not so keen unfortunately