Can't stand feeding in public with good reason, what can I do?

[whensmydayoff]

Have DD (4 months) with reflux.

Feeding is a constant struggle and I get myself in a right state in public.

Today, went to family farm/park thing with DS so he could have some fun. DD had really bad refluxy day and could not feed. I asked friends to keep an eye on DS while I tried to sit in the car and relax but she was in too much pain.

Had to drag poor DS home, he was devastated. Feeding is spoiling his time with me as it's such a struggle.

My DS had reflux and I struggled for 5 months then formula fed him from then on - much easier.
DD refuses a bottle completely so I have resigned myself to feeding her until she self weans . Not something I really want to do (no opinions on that one please).

Thing is, ive never fed past 5 months so don't know what happens after that.

Im hoping that once she is well established on solids and can drink water from a Tomee Tipee cup, I might be able to give her her 2 day feeds as a cup of formula. Is this possible and has anyone done this?

what do you do at home? is it the same?
could you express milk and offer that?

As they get older, and their muscles develop, the reflux often eases a lot. Dd started solids just vefore 6m, and her reflux improved a lot between 6 and 8m. I assumed that was because of solids. But ds2 didn't start solids until 8m (he just wasn't interested, though we did offer) yet his reflux also improved a lot between 6 and 8m.

Feeding in general gets easier after about 6m. There is gradually less and less reliance on milk, so the urgency to feed is reduced. They are also much more active feeders, and can get themselves into a comfortable position, rather than rely purely on you to support them. Dd, particularly, liked feeding sitting on my lap rather than cradled in my arms. Perhaps because of the reflux? Or perhaps because she could look around more easily.

As for what you could do now, my best suggestion is to go to a breastfeeding support group, so that you can feed "in public" among supportive and experienced women, who could probably suggest alternatives for you.

What you propose about feeding her from a cup is possible, but you need something to tide you over until then.

Have you got the reflux medicated ?

My ds had shocking silent reflux, he used to stop breathing with the pain.

He was a different baby when his meds were sorted ( gaviscon, domperidone and renitidine)

you shouldn't have to just put up with it.

sorry, i've just seen that she won[t take a bottle.

is it easier at home though? or much the same? is there anything you do differently at home that you could try and mimic whilst out?
does holding her more upright help at all?

i wonder also if she might be picking up a bit on your anxiousness? if you're worrying whether or nit she'll feedo k?
if you're feeling zstressed it might be taking a little longer for the letdown to kick in so she gets cross about that too???

Hi, thanks everyone,

It can effect any feeds at random, in the house or out.
Day feeds in general are a pain but at least in the house people aren't glancing over at strange woman appearing to try and force feed (this is how it looks with the back arching) a baby.
I can get anxious if the feed starts badly because she is bending and screaming so im like a flasher which can be stressful!!
I start off relaxed though and I was particularly relaxed yesterday as my friend was sitting feeding too.

I went to so many feeding classes with DS. The latch is fine and I know more positions than the Karma Sutra! It's just the nature of reflux.

Yes, she is on Omeprazole and Domperidone (high doses).

I just want to go out without this hanging over me and as a result is putting me off alot of outings which is unfair to DS.

Glad to hear they hardly feed when they get to 6-8 months though prettycandles. I just want to be able to call it a day if she is to bad to feed instead of her hysterical until she is fed resulting in me having to leave.

Whatbottles have you tried? If you haven't tried the tommee tippee bottles they might be worth a try - I've found them much easier to get a BF baby to take than the avent ones.

i don't know if this would work, but could you try feeding her little and often? so instead of waiting until she asks, just keep offering every hour or 2 if you're out.

i just thought that maybe that way at least she would never reach the point where she is really desperate for food, which must add to the upset if she is very hungry AND then in too much pain to feed?

hi
I bottle fed my son but he also had reflux and as you say each feed was a nightmare of screaming, back arching etc. We had gaviscon but that didnt reallt seem to help much BUT by 5 month he started to improve and by 8 months he was like a different baby - no advice on the breastfeeding but hang on in there it will almost certainly start to improve in the next month or two.

It's not that the hardly feed, but because you gradually rely less and less on milk, and because they can be pacified with finger food, they are less desperate to feed. It all becomes much less emotionally overwhelming. Breastfeeding gradually becomes more of an interaction than just you giving giving giving.

I so know what you mean about feeding a back-arching baby.

Thisisyesterday's idea sounds good - even if only for a few feeds a day, not necessarily every one.