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Infant feeding

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How best to support my friend?

3 replies

ReshapeWhileDamp · 07/04/2010 18:40

A friend from my antenatal group is about to have her second baby. She's told me several times this pregnancy that she wants to give bf a go. Backstory - her first baby just didn't latch on, and the support for bf at the hospital wasn't sufficient to help with this problem. She ended up expressing like a pro for a few months, using formula increasingly as her milk supplies dwindled. I know she was upset at the time that breastfeeding didn't happen for her and the baby.

She knows I'm interested in breastfeeding (am training to become NCT bfc but only started recently) and that I'm willing to help and offer her support as far as I can. I haven't pushed this, but responded to things she's said about maybe wanting to give bf another go this time round. Recently though, some things she's said made me wonder if she's having second thoughts about breastfeeding.

As student BFCs, we're generally warned about trying to 'counsel' friends. Obviously it's a fraught territory, or can be, and our objectivism is also compromised. I just don't know how best to support my friend. I don't even know if she still wants to breastfeed, and I can't really ask her without sounding pushy (to my ears, at least). I also hate the idea that she'll feel pressurised/guilty if she's decided not to try, because of my personal interest in bf.

I have literature that I can give her (print-outs) that give disinterested information on breastfeeding, some of which I think she may not know. But I don't want to seem preachy.

I know I'm overthinking this (it's one of my many faults!) so could someone without their head up their bum (like mine is) please tell me how this looks from the outside? What would you do? I feel like I need to follow through on what she said earlier on, but she's giving out very mixed messages now.

(not sure if I've been very clear here.)

OP posts:
TheButterflyEffect · 07/04/2010 19:45

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ReshapeWhileDamp · 07/04/2010 21:34

Thanks for responding!

Yes I am on the yahoo group (so if you are, too, please don't out me! ) and did wonder about asking there - I haven't posted yet though and felt a bit shy about it.

I did wonder if she was testing me out - some of the less enthusiastic comments, though, came to me via a mutual friend, which makes me wonder if she's maintaining a stance with me, but feeling rather differently in herself. I do need to bite the bullet and just ask her what she'd like from me, but it seems pushy.

OP posts:
TheButterflyEffect · 07/04/2010 21:39

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