Anyone else ashamed to be bottlefeeding?

[mum2c]

I've had to introduce supplementary feeds for my dd because her weight gain has been so poor and this is despite lots of help and advice from mw, hv and bf counsellor. I desperately wanted to be able to breast feed and have to say that I feel thoroughly ashamed to be giving her a bottle. This is to the point that I don't go out anymore and avoid inviting people to the house in case I have to feed her and they will find out. I feel so judged and a bad mother. Am I the only mother to feel like this?

feelso much better after reading these posts - 'is the child alive and well?' absolutely priceless......reminds me of dh remark about our sadly deceased hamster 'she was fine until she died!'.
I hate all the nastiness surrounding the breast v. bottle debate. I got it as a bf mum when criticised for feeding in public, unsupportive husband and extended family, then as mum to sn child who I bf 'til 2 for various reasons....got very fed up when friends remarked how easy it was for me (I had mastitis 3 times, sick as dog and always had to work to get food into dd).
marriage failed and I blamed for bf.
remarried (very happily), had dd2, had horrible problems with her bf but could'nt get her onto bottle, she small for dates and me worried so stuch bf despite becoming increasing ill with arthritis myself. Finally weaned her.
Now, am about to produce dd3 by c section (no 3). Cannot begin bf due to arthritis, spd and mobility difficulties. Feel absolutely horrible for not bf this much wanted baby and keep havinmg to remind myself whyt I can't - not helped by stupid mw who are all trying to talk me into it despite other health advice for me that I must not.
Just know that othermums will look down their noses also - funny after being criticised for extended bf in past...........
anyhow - hope that holding mylonged for baby while she gets her milk from her bottle will make me happy - hope all her siblings can also cuddle her and that dh will aslso enjoy feeding her intsead of having me stuck ina chair for hours (sometimes crying with fatigue, bf).
Really think that all'politics' should be removed from this whole area - it's tough being a mum - most of us are really great at it (ok, good enough which is fine by me as that's my ambition) and just don't need any criticism, guilt or judgement heaped upon us at all.
Please wish me luck as feel stupidly fussed about preparing bottles - how to do it at night, how often to feed etc and am afraid mw won't help as just expects me to bf - which I won't.

allgrownup, I am very interested - why can't you bf because of your arthritis and SPD? The reason I am asking is because I had moderate SPD in my last pregnancy, and whilst I bf my dd for 19 months, I feel my health suffered because of it. This was confirmed when I stopped BF, the SPD which had been hanging around post-birth completely vanished. I am expecting again and am seriously considering bottlefeeding too, because of this. I have been told countless times that bf has no effect on SPD, but I don't believe it.

allgrown up please don't worry! Many people choose to bottle feed for convenience, so it can't be too bad. I think that you will find you quickly get into the swing of it. I changed from bf to bottles at three months, so I'm not sure about newborns, but you soon figure out how much you can do in advance, and how to top up bottles to get to the right temperature etc. There are also some quite neat devices that you can use to pre-measure out feeds (good for going out). A friend of mine bought in a huge store of pre-made milk (come in little cartons), and there are also things you can use to heat up bottles when you are out and about.

The annoying thing I remember from bottles, was when you thought they were hungry, and gave them a bottle and then they didn't want it and you had to throw it away - wereapon they would decide they wanted another one!

Anyway, good luck!

I felt like this. Ds wasn't gaining weight, and eventually we gave in and gave him formula at night, and then he had less feeds during the day and we ended up having to give him formula then too.

At my very last BF, it was so obvious it was the last that I started crying, I knew I'd miss the closeness to ds, as I'd loved that even though I found BF painfull and a bit awkward.

I suppose socially it didn't make a difference, my new friends all bottlefed, my old friends didn't have kids, and MIL was more concerned with ds's weight than how I fed him. For the next, I will definately try again.

mum2c, you are judging yourself - stop it! You sound like an excellent mother, and tbh, the way you feed your child plays such a small part in how she will grow up! You are a caring, loving mother and that means more than anything. Anti-bottlers can be quite hurtful but I doubt if you would actually meet anyone who would seriously judge you. And if they did - well they're not really worth bothering about, are they. You are too good for them.