15mo and BF - how do you go about weaning without causing distress???

[babber]

Hi there, DS is nearly 15mo and has always been BF. he went through a stage from 10/11m to recently where he would only feed first thing in morning and before bed (oh yes, and all during the night whenever i settle him back to sleep but tackling that as seperate issue...)I thought great, he will gradually cut it out altogether and was happy to let him do it in his own time as that is obviously the easiest way. However, recently, he seems to have become really reattached to the boob and is forever pulling my top down and trying to get at them, regardless of where we are or what we're doing (has led to a few embarrassing moments as you can imagine). When i'm at work (3 days a week) he manages without them although its the first thing he wants to do when i see him, and on the days i have him he is asking for boob a lot more than he was. I feel guilty in wanting to stop as i know how much he likes it, and i'm sure that a lot of it is comfort as he can't possibly be hungry the whole time (eats like a horse). i do enjoy BFing as well but I feel like i need to think about how i will stop now - as well as finding his demanding BF all day is becomgin a tad annoying (i hate saying that but it is true), I also want to night wean him and i guess one is a natural progression to the other?... i suppose i do the 'don't offer don't refuse' tactic already but that obviously hasn't cut down BF'ing. WWYD?

It sounds like you feel quite guilty about wanting to wean, but you really shouldn't. You have BF for 15 months, which is an impressive feat and is both physically and emotionally tiring. Your DS is now perfectly ready to be weaned, even if he doesn't know it yet.
Personally, I went about weaning my 2 DCs (at 13 months and 14 months respectively) by showing them that they no longer needed to BF anymore. By doing that, they almost weaned themselves.
I cut out night feeds first. I simply stopped offering to BF when I went to them in the night. I changed their nappies, offered water and gave cuddles. They each cried for a couple of nights, but soon realised that they weren't going to get any more BFing and actually pretty soon stopped waking up at all.

Next, I cut out day time feeds. I replaced them with alternatives.
When they were hungry, I offered a snack.
When they were thirsty, I offered water or cow's milk.
When they were tired, I offered a cuddle.
When they were bored, I offered a distraction, book or game.
It didn't take long for them to realise that they didn't need BFing then either.

The last feeds to go were the morning pre-breakfast one, which was replaced with a cup of cow's milk and a cuddle, and then finally the bedtime feed, which was also replaced with a cup and a cuddle.

It really wasn't as stressful or hard as I had thought it would be, for either me or my DCs. The both quickly realised they no longer needed it and stopped asking.

Good luck!!!

Well done on doing 15mths

My DS is 13 mths and now only feeding morning and night. Would quite like to wean but not sure how it would go.
The other day I had a sickness bug and he refused to go to bed until I had fed him so not sure if it will go smoothly!

I think I'm going to drop am first and get DH to give breakfast then I will tackle night time.

We dropped night feeds a couple of months ago. I would go in and comfort but only water and cuddles were given. A few tears but he adapted quite quickly (like few days) and now if he's up in the night does not expect a BF.

At this age bfing is more than just food and comfort. It's a way for the child to reinforce his connection with you, just as he is begining to explore independance. It can also be the way your dc says "I love you, Mummy".

He is certainly old enough to be taught to ask for a feed by speaking. And also to be told "In a moment", that he doesn't have to have a feed the instant he demands one.

I don't know that the nightweaning is really connected to the daytime. Giving up night feeds at this age are more about learning to self-settle, than about comfort or relationship.

Do you have an OH who could go to ds during night wakings for a week or so? Perhaps with a drink of water (not milk of any sort). Quiet, comforting, boring repetitive words, a minute's stroking, then retreat back out of the room. Going in and repeating as many times as necessary. Tiring! Probably worth starting on a midweek night, to minimise the number of broken work-nights, then hopefully a big improvement by the time the working week begins again.

As for daytimes, never offer never refuse works well, especially when combined with a fairly busy day and the opportunity to nap.

thanks all for the responses. i guess i am feeling quite guilty about it and although i know i don't need permission to stop Bf it is still good to hear people tell me thats its ok to.

I think i am going to tackle to night feeding first, as suggested, and then gradually deal with the daytime ones. If he will go to bed by himself without a BF by the end of May this will be a great achievement as i have a wdding to attend and will be able to send him off to bed with the in laws whilst i stay out

I think the morning one will probably be hardest to stop because he is usually all cuddly in bed with us then - DP will have to step in and get up with him for week or so until he's used to having his cup in the morning instead.

Thanks again everyone for your advice, much appreciated x