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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Want to help a friend - any good books you can recommend on BF?

27 replies

Tweetinat · 21/03/2010 09:59

My friend is expecting her 2nd DC in June. With no1 she BF for 5/6 weeks and then started bottles. She didn't have any problems with feeding, she just kind of thought that it would be easier with bottles.

However, she's watched me and my friend exclusively BF our 4.5mo old and has said that we've inspired her to give it a better go this time as we make it look very easy. Fab news I thought, but then the other day she said that she intends on mix-feeding from the start (BF in day, formula at night) so that the baby will 'sleep through'. She also intends on following the Baby Whisperer which I gather from this board is not the best for BF mums. I have nothing against FF and routines, but I'm worried that both the formula and Tracy Hogg's advice re: feeding schedules will affect her supply in the early days and then she'll struggle with BF and give up.

I really want to support her with this decision and wondered if there are any books that you can recommend that promote on-demand feeding and highlight the problems that can occur with mix-feeding.

TIA - Nat

OP posts:
Original poster
Tweetinat · 21/03/2010 10:00

That should read:

'watched me and my friend exclusively BF our 4.5mo olds'

We're not both BF the same child

OP posts:
NumptyMum · 21/03/2010 10:12

What are her reasons for wanting mix feeding? If it's because she wants to share feeding, does she know about expressing so baby can be fed by partner from a bottle? Also perhaps she doesn't realise how easy it is to get back to sleep after bf in the middle of the night (well I found it pretty easy!) whereas I imagine making up a bottle disrupts sleep more and you don't have hormonal rush to make you sleepy afterwards (but then if it's her partner's sleep getting disturbed that's a bit different ).

Baby Whisperer CAN be followed without taking on board the feeding advice - I didn't really follow the book (though I had it) but other bf friends of mine did. However feeding on demand is best and obviously pretty easy with bf. It's really good she's been able to see you and your friend manage it so well to give her inspiration .

Sorry I don't have any books to recommend as I just went along to bf support groups and got advice direct from them.

NumptyMum · 21/03/2010 10:16

Also, just remembering, although I fed on demand for first few months, by around 4/5 months I began feeding more routinely as DS tended to get so distracted by life I think he just wasn't bothered during the day (cue lots of wakeful nights when he tanked up...). I then tried offering him milk every 3 hours or so and he was always up for it if reminded! So that may be the point when she could fit in bf with Baby Whisperer routines. In the end I kept going until he was just over 2yo - he's now just over 2.5.

Original poster
Tweetinat · 21/03/2010 10:49

Hi NumptyMum,

Thanks for your reply! I don't think she has a burning desire to follow the BW routines (as she's so not a routine person) other than for the breastfeeding guidance. She's just looking for someone to tell her how to BF and she has the book and thinks that it therefore is the way to do it... hence why I'd like to give her something more appropriate to read

The mix feeding reason is solely because she thinks it will cut out night feeding quicker (her DS started sleeping through at 6 weeks) not because she wants to share feeding with DH. I know plenty of people that FF and who's babies don't sleep through the night and I'd hate for her to start FF to help achieve this aim, it doesn't happen, but because she's messed up supply then she gives up BF...

I will suggest BF support groups to her and hopefully she'll take advantage of them!

OP posts:
midnightexpress · 21/03/2010 11:01

I'd recommend Sears & Sears. They are big on attachment parenting, so not particularly routiney, but very pro-BF. I haven't actually seen this one, but it might be helpful.

raindroprhyme · 21/03/2010 12:48

The Food of Love by Kate Evans.
Is a lovely book, nice to give as gift as not too preachy and loads of fuuny cartoons in it.

dawntigga · 21/03/2010 12:58

I'll second The Food of Love by Kate Evans.

HadMeLaughingAndVInformativeTiggaxx

arolf · 21/03/2010 13:01

the food of love by kate evans - amusing and informative plus easy read.

SPBInDisguise · 21/03/2010 13:03

just read the food of love - was fantastic!
Definitely that one

Original poster
Tweetinat · 21/03/2010 20:31

Wow - looks like The Food of Love gets a big thumbs up. I'll definitely buy her a copy of this and will look at the Sears' one too.

Appreciate all the replies

OP posts:
Maratch · 21/03/2010 20:54

I can really highly recommend a book called 'What to Expect when you're Breastfeeding' and also a DVD called 'Breastfeeding without Tears' both by Clare Byam Cook, both available on Amazon.I know a DVD sounds wierd but shows exactly how it should be done (she may not need this as it's her 2nd baby). Brilliant and really practical. Got me through breastfeeding, lots of great tips, she really knows what she's talking about. I EBF my DS and also put DS into a routine quite early on, so I think you can do both. Actually I think I managed to BF for 7 months because of the routine...would have found it really hard otherwise! Good luck to your friend!

rubyslippers · 21/03/2010 21:15

another vote for The Food Of Love

have just leant it to a friend

Bestfeeding is also very good link is here

the babywhisperer book gives very poor and outdated advice on breastfeeding IMO and doesn't take into account cluster feeding/lenght of feeds etc and this is likely to sabotage feeding

IslandIsla · 21/03/2010 22:00

I think Baby Whisperer is awful. Having read it when my baby was around 6 weeks, I became too obsessed with the whole EASY thing, and it never worked for us. Life became much better when I just went with it! Now I just get the book out occasionally to scoff at her advice. BW is painfully inaccurate about BF in my opinion.
I recommend Ina May's Guide to Breastfeeding. I only read it recently (my baby just turned 1) but I wish I'd read it before!

IslandIsla · 21/03/2010 22:02

Ina May's Guide to Breastfeeding -
see here for Amazon page

Karoleann · 21/03/2010 22:55

I think it probably depends on what type of person you are, I loved baby whisperer and actually thought the Sears book was an easy way to make you go completely crazy. I quite happily mixed fed from 6 weeks (you can't do it from the start as your milk production isn't there) til i wanted to stop. It worked fine and especially with a second child is much easier as your partner can do the last feed before bed and you can get some sleep. I presume you've only got one child - its VERY different when you've got two x

BertieBotts · 21/03/2010 23:01

The Clare Byam Cook book is full of incorrect advice and possibly not the best one out there. I recommend The Food Of Love as well!

RubyBuckleberry · 22/03/2010 06:29

ina may is a good one

this one is good too

peachylovesherpoochy · 22/03/2010 07:30

I found What to Expect when you're Breastfeeding, really really helpful and bought it for 2 of my friends who also thought it was great

Original poster
Tweetinat · 25/03/2010 13:08

Oh thanks for all the other recommendations! I've now got them 'on order' at the library and once I've had a good nose at them I'll make my final decision. Thanks again

OP posts:
AllieW · 25/03/2010 22:25

The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding (www.amazon.co.uk/Womanly-Breastfeeding-Leche-League-International/dp/0345518446/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s =books&qid=1269555865&sr=8-2) and

Sheila Kitzinger's guide (www.amazon.co.uk/Breastfeeding-Your-Baby-Sheila-Kitzinger/dp/0679724338/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&q id=1269555905&sr=1-2)

are both quite helpful. Although SK's has very 80s looking photos!!

dizzyem · 25/03/2010 22:50

I found this one very useful:
Bestfeeding: Getting Breastfeeding Right for You by Mary Renfrew, Chloe Fisher, and Suzanne Arms - available on Amazon

sleeplessinseatle · 26/03/2010 20:18

I really want to support her with this decision

I'm not sure you do.

Original poster
Tweetinat · 01/04/2010 10:54

How useful sleepless - that comment really contributes to this thread.

I do want to help support her decision to breastfeed - by providing her with the right information that will allow her to continue to bf for as long as she wants and how she wants (inc mix feeding). I'm concerned that the info that she currently has will negatively impact her ability to do this, so I'm trying to give her information that will help. Some friend I would be if I sat back and watched her struggle from the start and give up before she was ready purely because she didn't understand how BF works and what she needs to do to get her supply established first.

OP posts:
susiey · 01/04/2010 13:16

I fed my son formula at night and breastfed him through the day until 6 months when I chose to give up breast feeding. my reasons were that my dh was willing to do every other night so that was incentive enough!
will say though that he didn't sleep through earlier as a result just this was my personal choice.
I did it from the beginning but I know that not all babies take to it like that.

dizzyem · 03/04/2010 22:57

Just because they are breastfed doesn't mean they won't sleep through. My DD1 slept through 9-6 from 7 weeks and DD2 slept through 9 - 7 from 11 weeks so thumbs up for BF. Also its the BF at night that stimulates your supply due to the cyclical nature that your hormones are released.