Every feed is a nightmare

[SirBoobAlot]

Am really at the end of my tether DS has always been a good feeder, but the past week or so, every feed has been met with screaming and fussing, crying to the point of tears (sometimes both of us). I have tried different positions. I have tried sneaking the feed up on him. I have tried smiling and laughing and singing, and then ever so subtly offering him a nipple. Nothing is working and am now getting very desperate. He is currently crying next to me on the bed after having tried feeding / comforting / feeding / comforting for over half an hour.

Please help me - I don't want to stop BF, but am really at the point of wondering if I should just make up a bottle as I am just so demoralised by this

Sorry, remind me how old your son is?

Sorry. He's 18 weeks.

Just want to let you know I feel for you. I went through the same thing with my baby just screaming and pushing away everytime I tried to latch her on. Unfortunately I didn't find a solution and ended up expressing for a few weeks then going onto formula when my milk dried up. I did try nipple shields which actually worked and I managed to get her latched on, but I also found them very fiddly and difficult to use on a long-term basis as they slip and slide around a lot and kept coming off.

I hope you find a solution soon otherwise you may want to consider expressing.

do you have a la leche league or nct person locally who you could call on? they may see something you can't which can be changed?

also, try feeding in the bath maybe - some skin to skin when both of you are clean of any thing that might smell offputting to a baby, eg deodorant (sorry if that makes no sense, but read somewhere that strong perfumes can cause nursing strikes!

also, could he be teething or otherwise unwell? try bonjela on his gums, or calpol to calm him if he's in pain?

Right, 18 weeks. Difficult age. Tends to be a growth spurt, feeding more, stimulating your supply, etc. There were huge leaps in development for us at that age, so suddenly my daughter was so much more aware, and keen, all these synapses suddenly got switched on, and it was terrifying. My friends all said the same; why is my child doing XYZ help! Eventually we just termed it as having a bad case of Being Four Months Old.

I don't know if formula is the answer. I mean it could be; I literally don't know. But I do know that 4 months is a horrendous age generally in the sense that there's huge behavioural changes and they start acting irrationally and nothing works. Feeding problems are at the centre of that.

If you can take strength in knowing that nothing wrong, he's just Four Months Old, and if you can stick it out another two weeks, I reckon you'll come through it. It might be that introducing formula just complicates matters, TBH. But if you are feeling desperate, it doesn't hurt to try it. You can always go back to breast if need be, now that the supply is established.

Good luck. FMO is hard.

i was going to say teething - second arolf's suggestion of bonjela pre-feed

lol @ tortoise - yes, being FMO is hard work for a baby, isn't it?!

Agree with tortoise. 4m was hell but DS now 22 weeks and much much better.

Does he feed better at night or is this all the time?

my baby went through this at around the same age, it was horrible but I just rode it out and it got better. easy to say this but try to stay calm and just think that this is just a phase he is going through and he will get through it. my little one is just starting this again at 24 weeks. yay!

Thanks everyone.

Have just lost DPs dad so am rather on shock at the moment, but your comments are greatly appreciated.

Aww sorry to hear about your dp's dad

It could be teething, it could be a growth spurt.

Things to try

• teething gel on gums before feed
• ensuring you're somewhere distraction free
• get your positioning and latch check, it may have altered as he is growing bigger. Definitely would head to your nearesr bfing support group and talk to someone about getting it checked.

Well done for keeping it at it though!