Was anyone else scared of the logistics of breastfeeding?

[JamieJay]

Pregnant with first baba, would like to breastfeed but am currently totally terrified about the sheer logistics of it.

I know this probably doesn't make sense as in theory it's simply a case of 'wopping out a boob' but have 101 things rushing round my head:

• am I ever going to be able to position myself/baba to feed with my giant H cup breasts without being glued to the sofa with both hands holding various things up

• how to feed when out and about without showing my breasts - I've always been very self conscious about my breasts as was bullied about their size at school

• where/how will I sit to feed to minimise backache - have problems with lower back anyhow - do I need a special chair

• and my currently big worry, where will I feed at night as not keen on co-sleeping as DH and are both fidgets but can't imagine a comfortable way to sit up in bed!!

Apart from giving me the kick up the bum I obviously need is anyone able to impart any wisdom??

I want to breastfeed but if honest can be prone to giving up when things get tough so am worried I'd just reach for the formula at the first (minor) hurdle.

Cake for anyone who got this far

Hi , ME TOO WITH THE BIG oops, bosoms, hh also. have only being bfing ds for 8 weks, findnit easier whilst laying down tbh, and i no ,longer feel embarrassed about feeding in public. you cant see anthing bfing whilst in a chair , i usually wear a tshirt with cardi zipped up partway for modesty.
tbh ive had no probs and am very modest as have ishoos too.
good luck and just take it 1 feed at a time

Hi,

think I went up to E cup when I was breast feeding so not huge but big enough to need some support!

I use to prop litteun up on top of pillows to feed day and night - look at 'rugby ball' style. There are lots of different ways to hold litteun so you will find a way that works.

You can get specialist pillows but I would suggest you don't buy one until you have started as you will have a better idea of what support you need - Mothercare have feeding rooms so you can have a mock run before buying. Similarly don't buy a chair for the purpose until after you have started - for same reasons.

I refused to feed in public and was quite happy in the loo with an inflatable pillow which I took out and about.

It is hard and there are very few breast feeding 'naturals' who can just wop it out and get on with it.

I found it helped that after about 3 weeks hubbie did a bottle feed in the night (expressed milk; another thing that seemed too weird until I did it!)to give me a break and it was a great bonding experience for him.

I would recommend you find the breast feeding support group for your area and go before litteun is born so you will pick up tips and share other mums experiences.Plus, you'll have a good suppport group from the moment litteun arrives.

Every day you can do it is a bonus for litteun so never feel bad about struggling or giving up!

Hope this helps and best wishes for the big day.

i breastfed in bed by building a little fort of pillows around me so I didn't need to hold ds up. Obviously still holding onto him though. Dito for on the couch. Am also of the large boob variety and found that I could bf with no hands Although that sounds like i have very droopy boobs . I also co-slept sometimes but it's not for everyone. I didn't sleep really well when i did this but it was better than nothing.

Going to some baby groups or breastfeeding groups, even before baby comes, will give you ideas about how to feed without showing too much. Many mums use a blanket or cloth.

The back ache might be a bit of trial and error but make sure you are super comfortable before you start a feed. i have a bad habit of sitting slightly on one hip and after half an hour it really starts to hurt.

At the end of the day you might decide that bf isn't for you and that's okay too.

I think you should arrange to see a breast feeding counsellor when you're nearer your due date so that she can give you some logistical advice and help to answer your questions.

Remember, nothing is as bad as we tend to imagine and you might change your mind about certain things like co-sleeping when baba arrives, I know I did!

You can feed lying down, I did this a lot to begin with. It was actually easier for me this way.

I second TheBreastmilk's suggestion. A counsellor can come to your house and get hands on if needs be ! They can also show you how to feed lying down (a must for night feeds in the early days) and other positions.

NCT helpline 0300 330 0771
Le Leche League 0845 120 2918

Give these guys a ring and they can send a counsellor over. It's also worth seeing one once you've had the baby as well.

well mine went to H when BF so I understand a bit of where you are coming from... taking each one in turn...

I was TERRIFIED of BF and never thought I would manage it but I did and will next time too.

You will be glued to sofa at first but TBH it's an excuse to have a rest. Eventually you'll master one handed and even walking at the same time - but there's no rush. Get yourself a cuppa and RELAX.

There are loads and loads of BF'ing tops on the market - H&M were good, amongst others. If all else fails - use a scarf or a muslin.

I ended up with a glider chair which is tres comfortable - but there are also lots of cushions etc which can help. These may also help you in bed at night.

As for night time feeds, DD was in the crib next to our bed for the first 6 months - if she wanted a feed I just leaned across and sat up in bed with her until she was finished - then popped her back in the crib. We did both fall asleep like this a couple of times so made sure she was well propped in using lots of cushions. It was never much of a problem as she slept from 11 till 6 from 5 weeks old anyway.

So, in summary, there are lots of solutions around so try not to worry!

Haven't got much to say about the big breasts, but would say that the logistics are actually way more of a PITA with ff than with bf, tbh (I've got 2 children, ds1 was ff after about 10 weeks when we failed to establish bf and ds2 was bf until he was nearly 2, so I have plenty experience of both). Preparing bottles inthe middle of the night or when out and about is way more of a faff than a quick bf.

However, I would also prepare yourself for bf not being the easiest thing in the fist few weeks. It is tiring (but so is having a newborn, ff or bf), it can hurt, but only for a wee while until your nipples get used to it. But in the long run, it is much easier than ff, IMVHO.

As far as the sitting thing is concerned, I think you find a way that's comfortable, usually involving lots of cushions etc. I wouldn't bother with a special chair. In bed, I recommend learning how to bf lying down. That way you can doze while they feed. It makes a real difference and certainly beats getting up to trudge to the kitchen for a bottle a couple of times a night.

Good luck!

info on bfeeding lying down

Thanks for all the comments so far - plenty think about there.

Can I just ask a question about breastfeeding support group , are they full of women waving their breasts around (God what do I sound like sorry if that offends anyone). I just can't imagine what they are like and feel nervous about the thought of going to one.

I really do sound neurotic don't I - I'm normally a confident person but my breasts are just one of those hangups

Oh also, if you don't want to co-sleep, have you considered a bedside cot? We actually managed without one by taking one side off the cotbed and aligning the base with the base of our bed, and stuffed towels and blankets in any gaps - I can't remember the exact details, but it worked well, as the baby was right next to me, but not in the bed (although in the end we ended up co-sleeping at least in part - path of least resistance and all that ).

I'm a G cup and have been able to feed very discreetly in public by wearing a normal t-shirt with a belly band underneath and pulling up the t-shirt.

My DD is 7 months now so positioning is much easier but if I had another baby I would get one of those Widgey nursing cushions. Would definitely recommend one if you have back problems - I was forever trying to get enough support with pillows in the first couple of months.

I fed at night in a chair as DD fed quite loudly and kept DH awake if I did it in our room! Have a nursing chair in DD's room but anything comfortable would do really.

Just seen that I could ask a bf counsellor to come to me, would be fab as I'd be much more at ease with a 1-1.

Thanks guys - I'm already feeling a little better about all of this and will have look at support cushions and bedside cots (not buying yet!!) so reassure myself that there are plenty of options

Yes I had one come to my house. Best thing I ever did as I had read all about positioning but having practical hands on help at home made a real difference!

Good luck! Surround yourself with positive people and you'll be ok. Also come here if you need more help.

Hi, it's easy really, you just get plenty of rest, eat well and drink tons of water! Maybe you need your own sleep space for a while since dh is fidgety. The trick with breastfeeding when you hit problems is to feed, feed, feed! Once it's established it's easypeasy. Much handier than ff.

Oh and too help with engorgement use cabbage leaves straight from the fridge.

Good luck.

the breast feeding group i went to was basically lots of mums sat around chatting, there was a LLL counsellor there and a peer to peer support worker.
they had a screened off area where you could go to have some 'hands on' help if you needed it, but mainly it was just chatting and comparing birth horror stories

Hi, I'm an H cup too and you'll be fine honest!!

i can totally recommend the My Brest friend feeding cushion, it totally saved my back while feeding as it has a built in back support. I found it particularly good for feeding while sitting up in bed as i could never get all the pillows arranged in such a way that my back wasn't killing me without it.

Also feeding lying down is good, but I found it hurt my back a bit until the DC were a bit bigger.

To minimise flashing its of breast while feeding i would avoid specialist feeding tops as they only ever seem to have a teeny little slit that was no good for my big boobs. I found the best thing was to have a vest on under a normal top, pull the top up and the vest down and you can feed very discreetly.

nom nom nom... sorry am enjoying cake

I have three DC, and I worried with all of them. I think by the third I had almost got it right, but there was still room for improvement!

The best thing is to wait until your baby is born and see how you feel. You may be one of the lucky ones who finds it a doddle and wonders what all teh fuss was about (I was like this with #2, and only #2, well one out of three aint bad!). But if you do have problems, as other posters have said, your best bet is to talk to a BF counsellor. I found the NCT a godsend, and one of the local midwives was also trained as a counsellor.

But I'm afraid, like many things, it is something that you can't do much about before the birth.

If you don't feed lying down and feed sitting up at night in bed, make sure you are sat bolt upright with the wall/headboard supporting your back. It sounds awful but slumping back or forward is much less comfortable and less easy to position

have you got a bf group near you that you can visit whilst pg? our local one is more chatting than feeding, but it's wonderful for support - I'm still going fairly often despite DS being 24 weeks and bfing being a breeze now!
oh and I also have large boobs (FF at the mo!) - feeding lying down is great!

Yeah, lots of chat at the Breast Feeding group I went to too.

Another good group is the 'Post Natal Group' after littleun is born. It's a more intimate group so you all get to know each other and are most likely at the same stage of the game.

I was very very self conscious at first, also being of larger bosom ...but once you've done it a few times out and about (maybe start at the breast feeding group or out with a friend) it really does get a LOT easier and you'll find your technique- I too just wear a vest under a T-shirt, T shirt up, vest down and nothing at all can be seen. When DD was very small I used a very basic soft fabric ring sling to feed her in (look for freedom sling on ebay), when out in public, as it would support her weight and also cover everything up. I fed her this way on london busses/ on trains/in the park/anywhere with no one even noticing! It was also less strain on my back this way. Also generally, when people do notice (and in my experience they often don't) they'll generally just look away and let you get on with it. Or maybe give you a smile for encouragement (but then I do live in Hackney which is pretty liberal when it comes to BF!).

Agree with trixy - don't bother with any of the nursing tops from mothercare h&m etc, I bought loads but don't wear them as they're not really discreet for large breasts.

My breastfeeding pillow is in the cupboard because it was very uncomfortable to use. The pillow was over-stuffed and meant i had to arch my back to use it.