First few days - can I just check I'm telling my sister the right things?

[lovelymama]

I've got a DS of my own but my sister gave birth to her first DS on Thursday and I want to feel confident I'm giving her the right advice as she's looking to me for a helping hand.

She had an emergency c-section as at 9cm they discovered baby wasn't breathing. He was in special care for 2 days and hence wasn't with her and was being bottle fed every 3 hours by nurses/her DH and sometimes my sister. They are home now and she wants to breast feed so has now cut out the formula and DS has basically fed on and off all day and last night. I've checked her positioning and can see he's swallowing and can see milk coming out so think he's feeding ok. He settles beautifully in her arms but as soon as she puts him in his rocky chair or moses basket, he wakes up and niggles, which then gradually escalates in to a cry. The feeding and cuddling cycle starts again.

Now I think this is normal for a tiny baby. He's had a traumatic birth and he's only 6.5 pounds even though he was 9 days overdue. I've told her to let him niggle on (by that I mean that kind of grunting/very low level moaning noise that new borns tend to make) in his chair for a minute or so and then as soon as it turns to crying to cuddle or feed him. The only reason I've said to leave him for that time is because I remember DS was quite noisy, even if he wasn't hungry etc.

Any input welcome!

Congrats to your sister!

I'm struggling a bit to remember that stage, even though it's only a year ago for me .

I don't think anything you're describing sounds that unusual, and I think that all the sleep "experts" are pretty much agreed that you do whatever works for the first 3 months. Were you worrying that she might be setting up unhelpful patterns?

For these early days, my understanding is she just feeds whenever he seems to need it, to help establish her supply.

Hopefully somebody more knowledgeable will be along soon!

i would agree with everything. Reassure your sister she will be feeding alot for the next couple of weeks to establish supply and to just go with it.

It sounds like your sister has got off to a really good start with breastfeeding. .
I think it is totally normal for a baby to grumble a bit when put in to a moses basket. Having been in a lovely warm place for the last 9 months, I'm sure they would prefer to stay snuggled up close their Mum rather than be put down in a moses basket!

Kellymom website says that feeding alot will encourage good milk supply and reduced engorgement. Aim for feeding at least 10 - 12 times per day (24 hours).

HTH

Great to have an encouraging sister

It is indeed normal and good that this little baby prefers to be next to his mum. He's had a difficult start, being separated from her and prevented from breastfeeding (why???? Being in SCBU shouldn't mean being separated or being formula fed), and it's wonderful he is making up for this by ensuring he is kept close.

She doesn't need to wait until he cries - crying is a late sign of distress, so it would be fine for him to be cuddled straight away. He's only 9 days old - no reason for him to spend any more time than he absolutely has to separated from his fave place

Thanks for all the replies. It's amazing - I find it easy to dish out advice on mumsnet about doing whatever your instincts tell you to do but when it comes to giving one on one advice to my sister, I've lost all my confidence.

I'm not worried about bad habits at all - I don't think a newborn baby can be cuddled or fed too much, but she was so adamant that the baby would only sleep in its Moses basket before the baby was born, she feels completely disheartened that things aren't going 'right'.

tiktok - they wouldn't let my sister see him DS for the first 24 hours. I don't know why because I couldn't get to the hospital to see her. Guess cos she was in bed with 'epidural legs' and they couldn't get her out of the bed to see him. It's not ideal as she wanted to BF from the word go but at least now he's off the formula completely and she's just sitting on the sofa watching Sex and The City box set feeding DS, so she's happy and relaxed - ideal!

Thanks again all

It's a pity your sister is so keen on the Moses basket, cosleeping is so much easier and nicer.

It sounds like he's doing great. I would like to know how much, and what sort of poo he was making, as that's the easiest way to make sure all is going well (they are giving no formula at all?). Oh, and I would like to know her nipples are ok, no pain, no cracking.

Hi Ms NQC. I'm not sure she'd go for co-sleeping. She's paranoid about him falling out of the bed/rolling on to him as she and her DH really don't want to sleep in different beds. I guess things could change if she ends up feeding him all night and she's really tired.

He doesn't really wee very much but he's definitely doing breastfed poos - lots of them and it has that breastfed poo smell and colour (sorry, TMI!). As far as I know ( I don't want to nose in to their parenting too much) they're not doing formula at all and he was on and off the boob for the 2 hours I was there yesterday). Her nipples are fine so far but a bit sore - guess that's normal though because they have to toughen up. She's going to a breastfeeding club today so hopefully will pick up some tips there.