Still too distracted to feed - when will it pass??

[Igglybuff]

Happy Mothers Day!

My DS is 23 weeks and has been far too distracted to feed properly for a couple of months now...

At first I muttered "this too shall pass" and coped by feeding him when he was drowsy or feeding him to sleep. I also kept trying to offer boob when he seemed to cue for hunger when awake. I say seemed as he would either ignore the boob or open his mouth to latch then change his mind.

Now it's ridiculous. I still cant get him to feed properly when awake. The best I can manage is a minute of two of lazy sucking, pulling off, trying again etc etc as he peers around the room. And this is when he's definitely hungry as if I take him to a dark room around nap time he'll feed. He won't feed properly if awake though.

At first I thought it was my overactive letdown putting him off (which I think it was as he would cry if he choked and refuse to go back on unless I switched sides). So I've been tackling that and now it's much better. But still no joy.

I also thought it might be his reflux but he doesn't arch his back etc etc.

So I think he's just in the habit of getting his food either at night [very tired emoticon] or during a nap. He just won't focus when awake and i'm convinced he "waits" until he's very hungry or is too distracted to cue.

I've been EBF for nearly 6 months and was hoping to keep going for a fair while longer. However I'm getting bored of sitting in a dark room to feed and I would like to feed in public again! I've been out with DS and he's had a right strop if he gets hungry but won't feed if he gets too worked up

Can anyone tell me when their DCs stopped getting so distracted with the world and fed properly? It'll give me hope that I should carry on.

It is a stage and it does get better

Have a read of kellymom if you haven't already.

There are so many threads on here of other mums struggling with distractable babies. Sounds like you're doing everything right tbh.

Happy Mothers Day to you too x

Sorry, but mine is still like this at 7 months. I try not to feed in public any more. He has short feeds every 2 hours or so and feeds quite a lot at night.

I'm looking forward to when he starts eating solids loads and feeding less.

teaandcakes (mmm hungry now!) yes I've read kellymom. And keep hoping it'll pass.

noble I'm hoping the same. I start weaning in a few weeks so will look to give more milk in bottles/cups although I hate the faff of expressing!

Sorry, both of mine were/are like this. I ended up just feeding mostly at home, in the peace and quiet when sleepy and relaxed (me as well!). As they got older it was easier, as the feed times were more predictable, so could scoot out between times (or if visiting friends, ask to use a bedroom etc for a quiet feed). And when they started on solids, and started dropping feeds in the day (by about 7 or 8 months), easier still.

Now DD2 at 9 months has milk from a cup in the day (never would take a bottle), and just feeds at getting up and bedtime. So hang on in there, even if they don't get less distractable, it gets easier anyway IYSWIM.

Igglybuff my love of baking and eating cakes and drinking vast amounts of tea is my sole reason for my nn.

Hope you had a lovely day today x

teaandcakes ah I look forward to the day when I have time to bake again! Instead I just scoff copious amounts of cake from our local coffee shop

lukewarm I will try and hang on. I keep saying I'm going to give up BF every week since it started but still going after many many weeks of this...!

To my shame if either of my kids (only 17 months apart) napped or napped together I'm always straight in the kitchen baking something. The shame! No wonder I'm a size 16

I've been known if my younger one is napping and my toddler is watching Dora to be in that kitchen too...

Some people use their time to sit down, me it's either baking or mumsnet.

Hope you have a fab day and your baby feeds well and isn't too distracted x

Thanks! He's asleep feeding on me after getting up at 5am. It took three hours to get him to sleep last night plus had hourly wakings So cake is called for.

I hope your kids miraculously nap and give you time to bake

They do nap well but I sleep train them early, I'm fairly ruthless about teaching mine to sleep. As sleep is sooo important to me

Sorry he's so unsettled, was he overtired from a busy day yesterday. My boy screams and screams if overtired.

hi igglybuffm my ds the same! i have taken to treating it like a game - ticklig his neck made him come back on iyswim, and wearing earings held his attention for ooohh two minutes to get a few more gulps down! i play with his hands and sing too. but these are tactics that by no means solve th problem, just seem to help slightly.

getting him to sleep at bedtime (because its getting lighter!!! he CANNOT switch himself off!) has turned into rocking and singing to get him calm, feeding, then i leave him in is cot for a bit so he can sing/chatter/play with soft toy wear himself out a bit, then go in again and feed again until drowsy enough to put down - he does manage to go to sleep 'on his own' from drowsy - total of four/five 'sides'. good night he wakes at 10 and then 4, more commonly wakes at 9/11/1/3/5 . i too am holding out for solids being the answer although i think i may be mistaken!

nap times takes about 20-40 minutes to calm him down enough to sleep in his cot, although yesterday he would not let me put him down and after 30 minutes of almost asleep/put down/wave arms kick and cry/pick up/calm to almost asleep/put down etc etc i gave in and he slept on his tummy on me. i slept for an hour too though hahahaha.

teaandcakeplease, you do pupd don't you - am i doing it wrong!!! he's gone back to being like a newborn again!

just cannot leave him to cry though so have to find another way!

Yeah I do, probably better to read it in her book, than from my memory to you. Even after sleep training, there were always some days when both mine resisted naps, but if I knew they were tired and well fed and not ill, I just pushed on through with getting them to take a nap. With my first child my heart would break at her tears and I felt very guilty every time I had to be firm with her on going to sleep, but I don't regret it looking back now. Both are excellent sleepers now but it does take consistency and a real desire/ motivation to never give up and always do it if needed. Not everybody is like that or even wants to be.

My son (second child) was better if left for 5 mins then go in and calm down and then leave again etc etc. But he's a stubborn little chap

But each mum has to do what they feel comfortable with, as it's your baby.

Hi ruby sometimes I try and tickle etc etc but I have to catch him in the right mood. Your bedtime sounds like mine. We've got black out blinds but stick on ones. And last night I didn't put it back properly so the sun was creeping through....

I'm thinking of trying PUPD for night sleep but I'm soooo tired most nights I give up after three goes!

tea yes he was massively overtired so we put him to bed early... We went to the GPs on sat who overstimulate him every week without fail despite me telling them not too so he wont take his pm nap. I can't leave him alone with them because they ignore hihs tired signs, he gets more hyper and they think it's because he's full of energy....... I give up with them!

Then on sunday he wouldnt nap at lunchtime (we were out) - after an unsettled bedtime on saturday he didn't sleep well at night so knock on effect.

If I had the energy I'd be ruthless. I wish someone had told me how important nap/sleep routines were in the early days

Oh dear, try and have a quiet day today so he can catch up on some sleep, he may need more naps today. My GPs were always good at over stimulating too

iggly - i did nap routines in the early days and used to think ha! i've cracked it - he even used to fall asleep on his own, from totally awake! then he hit 4 months and it all changed!

teaandcake, i've got the book - i'll have another read. i am trying to do it softly softly but i think when it hits six months i might have to be more ruthless. i fear we are getting into a rocking to sleep habit, although i endeavour to put him down so he can do thelast bit himself. sometimes it works! its so because some days he's like the babywhisperer's perfect child and i think i've done it and then he resists the next day. i suppose they're not robots are they!

and i am quite pfb about him - i can't bear the tears, and the looking up at me like 'please mummy....'

RubyBuckleberry

They do play up sometimes, who wants to go to sleep when you can be with mum.

Different strokes for different folks. Do what feels comfortable for you.

tea that's the plan! He's feeding and sleeping on me as easiest way.

ruby I'm a bit like that re tears although getting easier as in I don't drop everything to run at the sound of a whimper anymore!!

DS has only self settled three times! The rest of the time he's rocked or fed. Main reason being I'm not sure how long to give him and also he gets wound up very quickly! He doesn't have an off switch.

I've given up all hope of sleep training until we get through the 6 month growth spurt. Although I guess teething will cause us problems too!

I always apply bonjela teething gel first, then a feed to soothe and then lay down once teething. Then you know you've ticked all the boxes. Also at night if teething, the gel first then a feed. It'll be ok it lasts for 3 hours at a time.

Try not to worry too much (easier said than done).

I need to stop neglecting my son. Darn Mumsnet is sooo addictive. He's watching CBeebies to my shame whilst I'm on here!

Good plan - I'll try the gel trick!

Haha yes MN is addictive. I should be dozing to catch up on lost sleep not on my iphone!!!